KS882 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I'm really sorry if this is in the wrong place. Looking for opinions on this. One of my close friends has been trying internet dating for a while. She went on a date with a guy a while back who she said was a complete moron then she gave up. I told her to not give up so easily, keep at it. She's tried again in the last month or so on a different site. So, she got all excited about this guy she's been emailing off this site for the last week or so. From what she said he seemed nice enough. This guy gave her his mobile number last week and said to text or ring or something. She text him and he asked about meeting up. Was talking to her Friday night and she said she'd forward some of the emails they've sent to eachother. And it just struck me how he doesn't answer her questions, just gives sarcastic and just pointless replies to things she's asked. So thought, ok, maybe that's just the way he is, you know? But then she said he'd text her asked if they could meet up next weekend and he said she didn't have a choice, she had to come. Ermmm?? Maybe I'm taking that the wrong way and being a bit over protective of my friend but hmm sounds a bit funny to me. Anyway. She's heard nothing off him since then when she agreed to meet him. Now he's text her tonight asking if they're a couple. Umm... she hasn't met him! So anyway. She agreed to meet him next weekend. I told her I thought the fact that he's been quite pushy in what he's said seemed a bit fishy to me. She asked if I'd come along to make sure he's not a scary psycho or something. I agreed and she told him just because he's someone off the internet and she doesn't know him would he mind if she brought a friend along? He got slightly strange about this and told her she has to leave me somewhere so she can be with him. Told her something was sounding slightly odd but she's still determined she's going to meet him. I'm going to go with her (meeting him in a public place so that's fine), going to see him before I leave her and hopefully talk to him first and I've told her I'll tell her where she can come find me and she said she'd ring me when he's gone. So, I'm hoping he's not going to be a let down for her sake! I have tried telling her he's seeming a bit too pushy for my liking but, well, might just be me. Am I being slightly paranoid about this though having never tried internet dating myself?
Soul Bear Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Do you fancy your friend?......even just a little bit?
Author KS882 Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Haha no, definately not! Girls don't do it for me! Just asking someone out who you haven't met yet? I've heard some good stories about online dating and some really bad stories from some friends just... slightly paranoid about internet people I guess!
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 KS - I've done internet dating and this guy's behavior is NOT normal. He sounds possessive and bossy. As I have heard again and again on this board - if this is his "best foot" (which is what you should be showing early on), I'd hate to see him at his worst. I guess if she "leaves" you somewhere - could it at least be within eyesight of where they're at so you can get a look at the guy? In addition - I'd be sure if I were her to have his FULL name. Another thing that's been mentioned in other threads is to ask to see their driver's license. If he declines - SOMETHING IS WRONG. In this day and age, I don't think it's a crazy request at all. I would also recommend that she not leave the public area to go somewhere more private with him. I sure hope she's not the weak/gazelle-type that can be talked into doing something by a guy because she thinks he's "cute." This guy would be setting off alarm bells in my head, as well.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Yeah, this guy is NOT dating material!!!! Only a fool (or a lesser-than) would balk at a female bringing a friend right to the table for a first real-life meeting. Mind you, you need not sit there at the net and alternately keep score between chasing after errant serves which hit the net. In due TIME you could tromp off to nearby shopping or dining, to give them their time and space, but you inSIST on meeting directly first, and don't even let the man know that you intend to make yourself scarce IF he passes inspection. ANY decent online-to-real-life male would agree to this entirely.
MadDriver Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 OP, you're not being too paranoid. I've met women (online) who have brought their friends along for the in-person meeting. Both male and female friends. Perfectly normal. Also casually mention your imaginary brother who is a cop, see how he reacts
Author KS882 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Thanks! So, bit of an update. He rang her Sunday evening after she hadn't replied to his text after just half hour because she was driving. She said he sounded fairly normal. Then he text her later on while I was talking to her on MSN asking her to send him some more photos. He sent one of himself and she said to me he doesn't look like the pics on his profile. She sent me some and in the pics on his profile he's quite far away and... well it is hard to tell if it's the same guy or not to be honest. So she'd sent him a pic of her face and he said he wouldn't mind seeing "more of her *wink wink*". Then she said about me coming with them again and he suddenly changed his mind about where we were meant to be meeting. See, I live about 150 miles away from her and was planning to come up this weekend months ago. So she was hoping to time this meeting with him so that I'd be around and I could come along and make sure he wasn't anyone scary. She told him that I don't live close enough to just pop along any day and it's almost like he's changing the day and location around (he's done it about 5 times now) so that she'll meet him when I'm not around. She's a bit girl, she can take care of herself. She's a really sensible person. I told her I had doubts about this guy. But she's still determined to meet him and hopefully I am wrong, might just be how he comes across in texts or something. So at the moment it seems like we're meeting him Saturday afternoon... but he's not interested if he has to come to her or something *rolls eyes*. My plan was to come along, see this guy and maybe say hello or whatever then go get some coffee close by on my own where she knows where I am so that I know she's safe. She said she only wants me to come along because at first they were planning on meeting somewhere near where he lives and she doesn't know the area. HAHA I like the imaginary cop brother suggestion! Anyway, glad I'm not being a paranoid idiot!
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