mrsplinter17 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 A coworker of mine and I (both married) playfully goof around and flirt off and on during work. She and I are very close friends even outside of work (our fams hang out sometimes). We have a good time and it helps lighten up stressful periods. I have always been careful of how far I take our flirting. We are both married and that's that. We are both mature adults and would not cheat on our spouses. If we were both single - who knows? Of late though she has seemed to get more flirtatious. For example she was joking with another girl @ work and told her that she had a sexy new lingerie outfit in her bag. I heard them talking and told her, "thanks a lot how am I going to concentrate on my work the rest of the day knowing that". The next day she called me over to where she was and showed me one of her sexy outfits in her bag that she brought to work that day. I was shocked! The day after that she texted me on her day off asking me if I wanted her to wear her new outfit out to dinner our fams were going to that night.She is totally the type of person who I would not expect this from or who would have an affair. I would talk to her abt it but I don't want to make a mountain out of a mole hil. We are friends but I don't want to call her out on this not knowing her intentions. She recently had a baby and is abt to turn 35. I don't know if this is why she is acting like this or if she is really trying to get me to come onto her more. I know eveyone will tell me to tell her to stop right now its leading to an affair. I will not allow that to happen. Others will say you enjoy and have allowed this to happen. Maybe I have but again I would never allow an affair to happen. Finally some will say this is an emotional affair. In some ways it is but any friendship has emotion in it. My wife knows how we flirt and is pretty cool with it. But if she new how she was acting of late the stuff would hit the fan. I have like any advice on this topic especially from people who have dealt w a similar situation. I would also be curious to hear from people who have known people to change like this who they would have never expected to. Like I said I am still in shock that she acted like this. I would have never imagined she would be as bold as she has been the last few days. Thanks.
westrock Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Affairs start out exactly from the circumstances that you describe. It's textbook and if you don't stop it now you will find yourself going down a slippery slope that will be impossible to fix. But if she new how she was acting of late the stuff would hit the fan. What more do you need to know? You know your wife would not be happy yet you let this continue on? You two are not talking about work realated topics or trivial minor things. This is an emotional affair and if you don't stop it, it will lead to bigger problems that you will later regret. It doesn't matter if it's all innocent or fun or however you want to explain it. You are playing with fire.
TaraMaiden Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 It sounds as if it's bee a load of fun so far, but maybe she's taking it up a notch..... if you are intent on carrying this ea on, then you need to define your own boundaries, and start bringing your wife into the conversation.... "Geesh, *wife's name* would look great in those!".... and when she flirts, tell her your wife says things like that too, what a lucky guy you are.....! In other words, lay subtle signals that. as much as this is fun, you're a committed guy, and you're in love with your wife, and you're not negotiable territory.... .....are you?
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