Does not thinking about your ex you get over them? (ex- Lose emotions for them?)

[llala]

We broke up mutually 1.5 months ago. And I've convinced myself to think of him less and less. I even use "thought stop" in order to not think of him with his new GF.

 

But will this help? So far the time gaps are getting longer and longer between each time i think of him. Im just wondering if I keep doing this, eventually in 1-2 weeks i wont feel the same for him anymore.

 

thank you

[Beyond Broken]

Thought stopping does not work if all you think about is them. Trust me...

And I'm sorry to say but 1-2 weeks if its been 1.5 months... It will take a little more time than that. But they say you will eventually be ok. Time time time...

[bubcake]

im wondering. Because he broke up with me, did he feel any heartbreak or grief? Or do the dumpers feel as if they did nothing wrong in the relationship?

[bubcake]

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[bubcake]

woops wrong thread sorry

[Beyond Broken]

I am sure he does. How long have you been dating?

[DSM2709]

bubcake, the dumper feels that they did nothing wrong in the relationship for it to make it not work. I'm going through this right now, because my ex dumped me and leapfrogged into a new relationship right away. My ex lied about that too, she told me she "just met him" last week, but I know she's known this guy since may, because I found his name and where he was from on a piece of paper with 3 other names. So, it's nothing but lies.

[bubcake]

Yes but it wasnt really a "dump".

It was mutual. But after 3-4 weeks, I tried to contact him, and he said he had a new girl. (usually we'd get back together. But i guess we got too tired of eachother this time + i was moving away soon to another state).

 

So I felt it like a "dump", but it wasnt. Do feelings just go away? After 3 years? Even if he's happy? (I know he was devastated until he met her, that's why)

[EricaH329]

I'm going through the same thing also, and I found it's a lotttt easier to move on and get over someone when you aren't keeping in touch with them or thinking about them. It's not easy... it never is. But I feel like it's the best way to get over someone.

 

You already see results, don't doubt the process now. Just keep doing what you are doing, until you don't think about him at all anymore.

[moo]

I believe my ex thinks he did nothing wrong. He started a new relationship while still with me within a week after a big argument and never tried to work it out with me, two weeks after his false declarations of love. I do believe that he thinks he never did anything wrong. Never apologized for the pain he caused me and just threw this other woman in my face.

 

Regarding thought stopping, I didn't want to do that all the time because I wanted to let myself feel the pain. My therapist and I did discuss thougth stopping for specific situations, such as when I keep asking myself "why did he do this to me?"

[bubcake]

Broke up with my ex (college sweetheart), 4 years. I was heartbroken. During the morning I'm great. Sometimes I miss her a bit. But for the last 4 months, I dream about her every night! My mind just automatically dwells on the events, the guy she left me for. I haven't had a good nights sleep in over 4 months.

 

She moved away to another country, which makes things a bit easier. But I can't understand why I always think about her during my sleep. It's driving me nuts.