and of five years

[revoo]

Hello, I am new to this forum. I have read some of the posts and a really like the community. My english is a little bad but i hope you will understand me.

 

So, I have been with this girl for 5 and a half years. We had our ups and downs. For the first two years it was ok, in the second year we where staying together somwhat in a room with another person, after that separately for one year and then two years together again. We had some problems on the way, I wanted to leave her two times because i thought that i ned somone new and i was bored in the relationship. She wanted to leave me once because of another guy because i didnt pay attention to her, but eventually we didnt split up.

 

She left me 2 weeks ago. She told me she couldnt take it any longer. I didnt pay attention to her, I took her for granted, she felt alone in the relationship, she tried to talk to me in some ways but didnt get trough, she practically carried the relationship on her back, I was like a stupid child and not a bf. I found out that 2 weeks before she told me, she found another guy, with hoom she felt ok again. She mooved away from me. I told her that i understand the things that i have done, or better said the things that i didnt do. It is really complicated, i dont want to get into details too much.

I realized now that she was the one for me, and i want her back.

She wanted for us to be friends, she told me that she doesnt know what she wants only that she feels the need to be free, independent, and to proove to herself that she can manage alone. She was my first long relationship, and i was blind and thoughtless. Only after the barkeup I realized all the things that wher wrong, and i fel that i can change and make hings better.

 

The barkup was tough, i was destroyed, i begged, i did all the things only to get her to stay. Now i know the best things was to let her go. She told me she wants me to be a part of her life, but only as a firend. I cant manage that because the thought of that other person in her life. I fully understand that she was missing many things in the realtionship, that i didnt offer her aftr some time, and that she found those things in another guy, and that she is now happy that she lives alone. I feel that she in some way still loves me, because there where teares in her eyes when i told her the last goodbye, and when i told her that i want no communication she cried a lot.

Dont know what to say more. She mooved in the same street as i live, so she is really close. We didnt argue at the brakeup, we talked a lot and we both understood that this had to happen, because it was going badly. The thing is that she gave mi signs that there is still hope for me in the future. I know i must change a lot, and i must o it for myself not for her. I still feel that she somhow loves me, and wishes that one day i will become tha man she always wanted me to be. I will go on vacation for a few weeks, and I will se waht will i do after that.

 

I would like to hear youre opinions on this, and questions if you have.

 

Thanks.

[mickleb]

revoo - 5 years is a very long time and it will take you (possibly) years to fully understand what has happened.

 

There is NO WAY I could be a friend to a recent ex who has just started a new relationship! You are right to have explained that you need no contact. You are also wise to go on holiday. The distance can really help you to be objective.

 

It has only been three weeks since my break up but it is only now that I am just beginning to remember how the bad moments felt. I knew things weren't completely perfect but I forgot that dragging feeling when things aren't quite right and you know it in your heart. That paled into comparison against my memories of our happiness. Of course, it did. But that dragging feeling was felt by both of you, you just chose to deny it - or overcome it - when you were together. It will not have gone away if you got back together with her.

 

Let time wash over what has happened. Give yourself the opportunity to be completely honest about everything that has happened between you. If it is worth saving, you will both know and you will both be sure about it.

 

You must miss her, now. That's part of understanding who you are, who she is and what you had with her. You cannot escape this.

 

It is painful. I know, I do. And we are here for you. But she is not. She is not here now. Try to accept what you have today or you will be building a life based on fantasy.

 

Good luck and take care. xx

[revoo]

The dragging feeling and that was because of me, cuz she loved me but i was alway occupied with other things, non important things. She loved me very much, and now i realized that she needed me there by her side.

 

Now I have started to change, i dont stay at the computer, i have a lot of time on my hands. I miss her and i wish that i could spend time with her. I wish i could show her that i want to spend time with her. Because it felt good when i did. We where both happy. Untill now i have loived in my own world, was shure of myself, and felt that she would always be there by my side. Little did i know that the attention must come from both sides, i didnt give enough, because... i really cant explain why, i was lazy, i know it sounds stupid, but thats the fact. It sounds stupid that wow, now i have realized that how i was and what i did wrong, and feel that i can change. The change is going on. But its hard to accept the fact that i wont be able to show her that i have changed.

[mickleb]

You said yourself that you were bored in the relationship.

 

Actions speak much louder than words in these situations.

 

Do as she has asked and leave her alone. Make the changes to your life you need to and then, if you still feel this way, write to her and explain how you've changed.

 

If she is the love of your life, she will respond to this.

[revoo]

I accidentally bumped in her today, we spoke, i invited myself over to coffe :|. Mistake? Probably, dont know, i act as i feel. We spoke of my trip that i will have and that she will look after my cat. At some point she grabbed my arm, and we holded hands for a minute. :|

I am so very confused, luckely i will be far away for the next 3 weeks, i hope i wont break nc, or she wont write me on im. I just cant rezist not talking to her :|. Not my strongest side, but well, i hope in time i will let go of this. She will come by to wash her clothes and stuff, we have things we both use and have to lend things to one another :|, thats the situation. We dont argue, she sometimes tells me one two things that she didnt like in the relationship, but it doesnt bather me, she does it in a good way, not to hurt me, donno. Probably i am stupid talking to her, but she wants this, and i feel calm and relaxed after i have seen her :|.

[mickleb]

You could just be holding onto the fragile scraps of what remains. It's good you are going away, you will have the opportunity to recall what life is like without her around. Just be careful to prepare yourself for when you return. You will have to let go to what you are clinging onto at some point and then the full realisation of what has happened will hit.

 

Take care. x

[revoo]

I talked to her on the phone yesterday, explained everything. She said she wanted to do this for a long time but didnt have the courage to do it. Now she did it and wants to move on without me. She wants to be friends but i told her that i cant consider her just a friend, so that it is better that we never see eacheother again. I feel funny. A little bit of all, anger, hate, dispare, love, i feel sorry for what happened, but somehow i accept it. There is a little bit of hope left, but for nothing. I actually started talking to another girl yesterday, i was too drunk but it went well for some time, than she left. OFC i`m not ready yet, but it was a good slap in the face . I stil love my ex ofc but must accept the fact that she doesnt consider me to be the man for her, and i think she thinks that i will never be good enough for her, so there is no point hanging on. She might reconsider, or time will tell what will happen, buti hope i got over the worst part now that i know, and i know it from her that it is over forever, because untill now it was that "i dont know what the future brings", but naturally u know deep inside if you want something or not. So probably this is the end of my story, i would like for you guys to give me some advice to what to do next. :|

 

Thx for the help untill now.

[mickleb]

I'm sorry to hear you have had bad news but I think this will make it easier for you to stop chasing this ghost.

 

Now, you are ready for the 'me' time.

 

Act on all those changes you thought you should make for her but do them for yourself.

 

Read up on what went wrong and why and learn more about how to behave in a relationship. I read a book called 'Living Through Personal Crisis' by Ann Kaiser Stearns. This has helped me to face the loss I'm dealing with and accept the process that is a necessary part of this. I am also reading a book, with a stupid title, that is actually very informative (about the different needs of men and women and how we can easily miscommunicate) it's called 'Why Men Don't Have A Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes'. It was a substitute for the Mars and Venus one that both men and women have recommended to me. I suggest you read something like it.

 

A lot of men encourage you to work out or otherwise get physically fit, for your health and self-esteem.

 

You might want to consider getting some counselling. You don't have to be ill to have it and, sometimes, just a few sessions will help you to clear your head.

 

Join a class or group, if you want to make more friends, or just hang out more with current friends and family. You could improve on your cooking skills and invite people around for dinner. Often being creative helps as an outlet and, again, boosts your confidence.

 

FORCE yourself to make the effort with these things. You may only really enjoy them a month, or so, in but it is essential that you keep going and build a new routine for yourself.

 

Keep posting your thoughts here, too (try using some more paragraphs - you'll get more responses!) This is a good place for advice and sympathy along the journey you are now taking.

 

Best of luck, revoo. Take care. x

[greenparrot]

revoo, out of all the stories I have read here, yours is dead on with mine.

 

Everything is the same, to know that a year ago she begged me to change and promise her love to me forever. I wasnt mean, I was simply in my problems and was lazy to go out.

 

I love her to death, and now she is with someone else. That is what kills me someone else that texts her, someone that makes her happy.

 

Your doing the best going NC, it doesnt help contacting them I already tried and it bit my ass. She wants to be friends and take it from there. When I said no, she cried and got mad at me.

 

I dont know what else to tell you since Im also in pain, but lets just hope it gets better.

[revoo]

I know now that the thing I hung up on want real, it was just my imagination.

There never was a second chance in mind, she wanted to keep me as a friend, cuz she likes me as a person who has a sense of humor and so on, but with someone else around her, it would just have driven me mad.

 

Today was much easier, I cried for a few seconds when talking to a friend. My mother died recently, and I only felt the pain when she was lovered down in the earth, that was the moment when it hit me that it is over forever and I will never see her again. I had almost the same feeling when finally she told me that it was over forever.

 

There is a thing that helped me today, that she told me on the last conversation. She told me that she wants to grow alone, because I dont have the knowladge that she has. Reality is that in her domain she is far smarter than me, I dont really read and dont have any skills in writing or things like that. But I have other qualities in wich i am fairly good, and in wich her knowladge is lower, and so on. And she didnt understand me when I told her this.

 

She thinks that I was the one holding her back in doing some things, but she was wrong. She has low self esteem, and that is her problem, I am not saying that I helped her, but I didnt stand in her way, at this level.

 

I know i did a lot of ****, but she tells me that those arent important. She is wrong, because I know that thosethings are important, and if they get under youre skin with time than they will be annoing and can lead to this.

 

So in conclusion I can say that I think that she is confused, and probably had some bad influence from her friends. I`m not saying that the relationship was ok, cuz it wasnt.

 

I am glad that she opened my eyes. But its sad that it had to be this way, and I am sad that she wouldnt fight for me harder. We had 3 serious discussions in 5 years, and those only when we wanted to brake up. She always told me she knew me, but she didnt know how to properly communicate with me. So i guess that is it. She will always have a nother chance if i wont have someone else, but at this moment, I cant imagine how it could work.

 

Time will tell.

 

Greenparrot, go out with many friends, and try to get to know more ppl.

The first thing that I did after my ex told me that it was over forever was... Iwas at a bar with some friends, and i noticed a nice girl at the table, I bought two beers, went to her, and started talking. You can imagine that I was probably the most boring thing that she encountered in her life, but for me it was a step that helped me to feel better, and not to feel alone. I hope I will see that girl again, and i must think of an exuse of why the heck was i so boring then

 

take care and thanks for the advice

[revoo]

Why must it be this way? We had good times, we didnt argue that much, and only in the past 3 months. Why did she drag it this long? If she had still hope for me why didnt she communicate.

 

Sorry I just thought of her and almost started crying, looked at a picture, and thought about some good times, and ofc what i did wrong. Again I am slipping back.

 

I know that she is confused and thinks that I was standing in her way, but its not like that. I wonder all the time if I will have a second chance.

 

I am moving on, going on vacation tomorrow, I wanted to leave the cat with her but than I would see her and thats not good. I will leave the cat at some other person.

 

Does love really stop after a time? I didnt do horrible things like others do, I was just not paying attention. She thinks that I`m not good enough for her but that is just not true. She as a person has her problems as do I, she isnt a better person, I never lied to her ever, she somwhat cheated on me, and that hurts, but I would be willing to step over this, because I have my crazy things to.

 

I love everything about her, even the little annoing things, because I think that they are funny, and not driving me crazy. The stres was driving me a bit crazy and I didnt handle it well. But people can learn.

 

I just dont get it that if she waited this long, now that she is seeing the changes, why cant she wait just a little bit longer, it just doesnt make sense. At least for me it doesnt. Anyway I ant change a thing. Its eating me up inside sometimes, other times I am ok, and Its really good that I have a place to write this down. Even tho ppl dont give me hope, but the feedback counts. THX

[mickleb]

I know now that the thing I hung up on want real, it was just my imagination.

There never was a second chance in mind, she wanted to keep me as a friend, cuz she likes me as a person who has a sense of humor and so on, but with someone else around her, it would just have driven me mad.

 

Today was much easier, I cried for a few seconds when talking to a friend. My mother died recently, and I only felt the pain when she was lovered down in the earth, that was the moment when it hit me that it is over forever and I will never see her again. I had almost the same feeling when finally she told me that it was over forever.

 

There is a thing that helped me today, that she told me on the last conversation. She told me that she wants to grow alone, because I dont have the knowladge that she has. Reality is that in her domain she is far smarter than me, I dont really read and dont have any skills in writing or things like that. But I have other qualities in wich i am fairly good, and in wich her knowladge is lower, and so on. And she didnt understand me when I told her this.

 

She thinks that I was the one holding her back in doing some things, but she was wrong. She has low self esteem, and that is her problem, I am not saying that I helped her, but I didnt stand in her way, at this level.

 

I know i did a lot of ****, but she tells me that those arent important. She is wrong, because I know that thosethings are important, and if they get under youre skin with time than they will be annoing and can lead to this.

 

So in conclusion I can say that I think that she is confused, and probably had some bad influence from her friends. I`m not saying that the relationship was ok, cuz it wasnt.

 

I am glad that she opened my eyes. But its sad that it had to be this way, and I am sad that she wouldnt fight for me harder. We had 3 serious discussions in 5 years, and those only when we wanted to brake up. She always told me she knew me, but she didnt know how to properly communicate with me. So i guess that is it. She will always have a nother chance if i wont have someone else, but at this moment, I cant imagine how it could work.

 

Time will tell.

 

Greenparrot, go out with many friends, and try to get to know more ppl.

The first thing that I did after my ex told me that it was over forever was... Iwas at a bar with some friends, and i noticed a nice girl at the table, I bought two beers, went to her, and started talking. You can imagine that I was probably the most boring thing that she encountered in her life, but for me it was a step that helped me to feel better, and not to feel alone. I hope I will see that girl again, and i must think of an exuse of why the heck was i so boring then

 

take care and thanks for the advice

 

I am SO sorry to hear about your mother, revoo. It is terrible that you are having to deal with the loss of your partner on top of losing your mum. I strongly recommend you read a book, or join a group to help you deal with your grief from both relationships.

 

You say you don't read but you have been reading the posts here. I used to think of myself as someone who didn't read - I have a learning difficulty and was not encouraged to read when I was younger. But it is something I have, over time, persisted with and now I am able to gain so much from. What is your first language? It might be worth looking online to find books published in it. I think you could benefit from improving on your English, too. What country are you currently living in?

 

You are making progress, slowly but surely. You will feel more stable then ask 'why' and be in tears again for weeks, possibly months. I do not recommend you go out looking for someone to transfer your love to. Do the things outside of a romatic relationship that make you happy. This way, you'll be more secure in your next relationship.

 

x

[revoo]

My first language is hungarian and i live in romania. Its a different world here, I will have financial troubles probably, I am living on the limit of self sustainability as it is. As for my ex, taking this step means a very scary and uncertain financial future, she has the option of mooving home if things get worse, I do not have that. But these things are irrelevant now.

 

I will search for some books, or dont know, whenever I am feeling down I come here and start to read things, that on one hand make me sad, cuz they show me that my hopes arent real. On the other hand I dont feel alone and thre are a ton of nice and good things that I read here.

 

I am starting to doubt myself that I really understand what went wrong. I am thinking that she isnt 100% shure that this was the right thing. She said that it felt eliberating when she made the decision. But was surprized by my reaction, she knew I would make a big fuss about it, But she told me that she didnt know how important she was for me, and how much I cared for her. But then again that it is to late, and that she never felt that I was "that" special guy for her. Thinking of that makes me a bit angry, that she waited this long, and let me get attached to her this much.

 

She made mistakes to, I was hard headed, she couldnt talk to me, but she still kept draging and draging the relationship. There where good times to ofc. My big question now is, that if she dragged this 3 years (she told me that the problems started 3 years ago), than why is it ovr now, why is it that when I realize a ton of stuff, she just rejects me.

 

That is why I stupidly still have hope. I must wait for this to go away. But somwhre down there I dont really want thi to go away. I am keping the NC, its hard, it easyer after she told me that its over forever, but it is still hard.

 

I still think of the days of the brakeup. She had to moove away, but untill she did, things where normal, or a bit better, an worse ofc. She did all the things she used to do, naturally, we slept in the same bed, we went shopping. In th mean time I found out about the other guy. Had a brakedown again. Bagged and all that stupid things. She told me she understands me but doesnt fel for me anymore and so on. She doent know if she will hav a relationship w the other guy, but she is ok w him.

 

After a few days when almost all her stuff was at the new place, we had a great day. Everything was ok. On that day of mooving her stuff, at one moment I used my opportunity and kissed her, and for some reason she kissed me back w passion. I was like ok but wtf in my head. She told me after a time to stop, cuz i will again missunderstand the situation, and I was like, ok for me it means that I still have a chance, and she was like something like that. That day we kissed at her place once more. That day was ok untill i read some of her emails at night, and found out that she was seeing this guy for a week or two now, and that she lied to me and told me she was going to her parents and went w this guy and spent the week. In one of thise days she told me on IM that it was over.

 

In the email this guy was ofc god, and perfect and what not, and I was the **** that was home and from where she had to run away from, and that how I dont care about what she is doing and so on, and that how good she feels getting so much attntion from this guy. In anothr email she told hr mothr that I think that she will wait for me 2 months untill I change, but Idont hav any chance. I asked her about these things and she told me that things have changed, I have changed in these few days and that I might still have a chance, but not now. I got drunk, my frinds didnt hold me and I went to her, we talked, I told her that I understand her, and she told me that I a right, but again this doesnt change a thing.

 

That day after I left her place I talked to a friend, who told me stuff, that how could she make this to me, why didnt she end it before she got involved w this other guy, and that she has no respect for me. I was still a bit drunk anc called her up a little bit angry and asked her, she replied that she doesnt want to feel bad now just because she wanted to feel good at that time. We had a talk later that day about this and I told her that it is ok, cuz in the email she told a friend that she has to tell me and she thinks i will be happy cuz she feels that I want the same thing.

 

We hd many talk without any fights. On the last talk I kind of forced her to say that it is over forever, i just couldnt take it anymore with that I dont know what the future will bing. On one of those days I asked her if somwhere in her heart she wishes that this relationship would work out, the anwser was "maybe".

 

I got a lot of signals that there still is a chance for me, and she was really nice to me and all that. I dont know if she wanted to let me go slowly or what was the point of all this "hope giving" thing, and ofc the kiss. I am not that stupid but this is beyond my logic.

 

Hope that this post isnt to long and that you cand get some info out of it.

 

Thanks for reading, it helps a lot.

[silic0ntoad]

Hey man, I feel the pain of loss as well. Here's the advice I can offer:

 

As far as financial strength goes, you need to learn to cut back to stay within your limits. When my ex left me, I was 10k in the hole- 5k for an engagement ring, that now collects dust in a bank vault, and 5 k for stress related vet bills for her dog that I am now the owner of. Two weeks later my transmission in my truck went. 4 more K out the window. Sometimes life has a tendancy to sh*t on you. Learn to cut back on some excesses. I am still dealing with that with each pay check but it gets easier.

 

On the side of loss, I can't offer any advice on your mum, save that you need to let the pain and anger of the loss out. Don't STOP crying, FINISH crying. Let it out as it comes naturally. The human mind and body is wonderfully built to adapt and heal, be it emotionally or otherwise. Let it out, and take it one step at a time.

 

As far as the girl goes, well, you have to do for you now. Of course every fibre of your being is screaming to be with her. Tell your body to shut up. Use your head. Logic will tell you that it's only the emotional desire to fill the void of her absence. Don't settle for scraps from her table. Man up and initiate NC. Keep it to the end, whatever the end may be.

 

I hope all is well, and sooner, you will realise, things will be OK.

[revoo]

NC is on, we tried to e friends but i just freaked out very time. And i told her 2 times nc and i roke it both of the times, now its foer real, i didnt have the urge to call her or anything. I am leaving to germany in a few hours, a few days earlyer i told her to watch my cat, but now i brought my cat to a friend. So we dont have any contact.

 

thing is that she is a good person, good to be around her, and it kills me, that is the reason i am going away.

 

The thing about my mum, I was just comparing the feeling of loss. I got over that in a few weeks, I kept it all in, and cied when noone was there, because I knew i had here there with me and life will go on. But now the same pain just wont go away. Its much better than it was a week ago, but it still comes back.

 

As most of you say, time will tell.

[silic0ntoad]

NC is on, we tried to e friends but i just freaked out very time. And i told her 2 times nc and i roke it both of the times, now its foer real, i didnt have the urge to call her or anything. I am leaving to germany in a few hours, a few days earlyer i told her to watch my cat, but now i brought my cat to a friend. So we dont have any contact.

 

thing is that she is a good person, good to be around her, and it kills me, that is the reason i am going away.

 

The thing about my mum, I was just comparing the feeling of loss. I got over that in a few weeks, I kept it all in, and cied when noone was there, because I knew i had here there with me and life will go on. But now the same pain just wont go away. Its much better than it was a week ago, but it still comes back.

 

As most of you say, time will tell.

 

Of course it comes back.

 

It is through adversity, and how you face it, that will define your integrity. Show true grit. Try something new. Do something different.

[revoo]

I talked to a friend, he told me that he spoke on the phone with my ex, and that she told him that she told me that it was over forever, and that she feels relieved. I know its only been like 3 days but still it hurts like hell.

[mickleb]

There's a good reason for not contacting her, asking friends not to pass on information, closing down the channels for communication. IT IS AWFUL! You should be healing, not re-opening this wound with horrible news like this, again and again.

 

I'm sorry you have found this out. Are you in Germany? Is it good there?

 

revoo - after your last few posts, I wanted to say again that some form of grief counselling or book on the subject will probably help you to get the awful loss you have endured with both your mum and your relationship.

 

Do try to experience what is around you now. Try to focus on the new environment you're in. I think you are still in a state of shock about what has happened and you need to hold onto what is left of you, YOUR life and what each new day brings.

 

I really hope you're getting a lot from your holiday. Enjoy it the very best you can. x

[revoo]

I am somwhere near the angry pahase, cant believe she has done this to me. I had 100% trust in her. She never would do a wrong thing, and I think that she is feeling awfull for what she did to me, at least I hope, because if not, than I feel the biggest looser on earth for trusting her.

 

I dont get it what came over her. I know I must let go, but I know she knows how I feel, or maybe not. I am thinking of stupid possibilities all the time, and dont know how to stop.

 

Even here on vacation I just woke up feeling angry, and hurt, but in the same time wishing that she was here. I thought about it much and I could forgiver her, and I would cuz logically it all makes sense, exept the part that she doesnt want to try again.

 

In the spring she told me that she had the possibility to hook up with this guy, but she didnt cuz she cared for me then, or it was just because my mothers death at that period.

 

Another question in my mind is if that she felt this a long time ago, why did she drag this so long? Why didnt she end it the first time :|, if she had faith in me than that I would change, why doesnt she have now.(she told me she was scared to brake it off in the past) And then it pops in my head that probably she is wasiting for me to change and in the mean time she goes on with her life. Donno. Stupid thoughts, but it helps writing them down here.

[greenparrot]

revoo, your right our exs keep hurting us. I too am more mad at her than anything. Remeber my thread? Well yesterday I couldnt talk to her because I got sick, I told her to talk today at 1 pm I still havent received a response.

 

Im sure your ex cares about you, and like me, we dont have anything to prove to them. THEY were the ones that dont want to work it out. So where doeas that leave us? Moving on, trying to find someone who does and more importantly being ourselfs being nice to them.

 

Maybe deep inside we were too lazy for our ex cause it wasnt meant to be, rejection hurts right now. Can it be we confuse anger and sadness for love?

 

Your in Germany!! This is trully what you need, a new environment, new people. Make the best out of your vacations. Im sure she will regret this.

[revoo]

You are right. We must calm down and after that see what we feel fot the other one. An see what the ex feels for us. She is a good person, she did this cuz she was confused, and didnt know how to resolv problems. This wasnt the good way, but we all make mistakes, and I am willing to forgive her if she wants to get back together someday.

[revoo]

Well she did many things for me, and I want to make it up to her. She is a really sweet and intelligent girl. That is why I am in so much pain. She did a ton of things for me even if I was indifferent with her and so on. And that is what I dont understand, and that is why i still have hopes. She told me many times when she moved away that this doesnt mean that I dont get a seccond chance, but she doesnt feel for me anymore., but doesnt know what the future brings. She also said somwhere deep down she still wishes this could work but doesnt feel now nothing :|. I dont know what to believe or dont understand what the things mean.

 

Many ppl told me that I dont have to read in things more than they are. But then there was that stupid kiss that was so passionate ffs, how can you not read on that, what was that? a last kiss? why?

anyway I dont get it anymore. I just feel that she isnt here, and that hurts, and I cant think of another person. I am ****ing up my vacation :|

I have chatted with two girls already, very gorgeous and intelligent, but couldnt get trough the small talk part :|

 

Hope this will go away, but somewhere in my heart I dont want it to go away cuz that means that she will go away from my heart, and I dont want that at all. She moved away and all, And I dont miss that she isnt living tehere, I just miss here presence in my life, donno how to explain. :|

 

anyway, going to visit the city i will write at the evening if I feel down, thx for reading

[revoo]

Today was better, but still had bad moments.

 

I dont want her to regret anything. She did what she had to do in a way. I am ony looking for a second chance somehow.

[greenparrot]

well I guess for you its easier, since she doesnt have anyone right now. Give her time, space. I do this for my ex and she always seeks me. Best thing is starting to move on.

 

She is great, but is she there when you cry for her? No, take a breather and start moving on. If its meant to be she will be back. Meanwhile, let her do some thinking.

[revoo]

She has someone. She cheated on me and then left me. She tells me that she doesnt know whats with this guy. She doesnt want a relationship but she feels good when she is with him. And ofc they slept together.

 

Or she isnt sure in what she is doing or she just didnt want to tell me. To a friend she told that she is kinda with this guy in some way. Donno. Crap. It hurts to be left for another, and for the wrong reasons. Anyway. Her loss, cuz i will change.