carnegie Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 5 days NC and she contacted me by yahoo messenger when i was online. She: Can you talk to me now? I: what? She: Now do you want to avoid talking to me or we r friends? I: i dont care. She: why do you avoid talking to me? I: what do you want? She: thank you! Did i break NC? My heart dances when i talked to her, just by yahoo messenger. I know i still love her and want her back. But i dont know how. I tried to stay NC and now she contact me. I'm juts polite and indifferent, i really wanna say "do you think this is fair for me? I still love you so much and if you had lost all your feelings for me, i need time to be healed..." I m so sad...!
boogieboy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 If she is contacting you just to ask "are we friends" then keep ignoring her. She just wants to talk to you about nothing. I know she gives you butterflies when she talks to you, but you already know if you cling to that you will never get over her. Trust me. Dont hang on to this. Block her from your messenger. I understand that you want to hear from her even if she doesnt want to get back with you, but you need to get rid of all traces of her. It really will make you get over her faster when you know you cant talk to her.
Devil Inside Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Block her...if you get butterflies from that conversation..you are not ready for contact.
Author carnegie Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Now why do I really wanna say how much i love her?????? 5 days NC and she just appeared in my mind some times. But now, she is almost full in my head...After she broke up with me, we were friends about one month, but i cant be friends anymore. I simply disappear from her life, and it seems she doesnt like that. She showed me she doesnt like that ( but didnt say it), she also showed me she dont care about that. Did i think too much? There r much thought of her flying in my head...I tried to enjoy my life, go out with friends, new hobbies, new music, but she is still around...My love were wonderful at the first days, 3 years ago. And it were still wonderful 6 months ago...I miss these memories so much, miss the pretty girl who truly loves me so much! I know thinking of the past cant help anything, but these feelings r still in my mind!
boogieboy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Now why do I really wanna say how much i love her?????? 5 days NC and she just appeared in my mind some times. But now, she is almost full in my head...After she broke up with me, we were friends about one month, but i cant be friends anymore. I simply disappear from her life, and it seems she doesnt like that. She showed me she doesnt like that ( but didnt say it), she also showed me she dont care about that. Did i think too much? There r much thought of her flying in my head...I tried to enjoy my life, go out with friends, new hobbies, new music, but she is still around...My love were wonderful at the first days, 3 years ago. And it were still wonderful 6 months ago...I miss these memories so much, miss the pretty girl who truly loves me so much! I know thinking of the past cant help anything, but these feelings r still in my mind! Dont worry, all that is normal. Its withdrawal. You will want to tell her this for a while, but it wont get you anywhere. Thats what NC is for, its to prevent you from prolonging your suffering by talking to her. Matter of fact, just so you know what you are doing when you do talk to her, read this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=196251&page=3
Author carnegie Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 And now a sms from her "you r really scaring me now. Why cant we be friends? i really hope you r happy.Gut night." I dont know what she is thinking. trying to keep me? or she doesnt know how i hurted? what should i say to her?
westrock Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 And now a sms from her "you r really scaring me now. Why cant we be friends? i really hope you r happy.Gut night." I dont know what she is thinking. trying to keep me? or she doesnt know how i hurted? what should i say to her? She wants to know, so tell her where you stand. Maybe write back: "We can't be friends because I want a relationship with you."
Author carnegie Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 She wants to know, so tell her where you stand. Maybe write back: "We can't be friends because I want a relationship with you." If i do that, will i break NC? There r some advice that telling her about my feelings cant take me anywhere. well, its tough, isnt it? I deeply know she is a good people and never play game. Our relationship was serious. She said she had lost all feelings for me and she didnt know why and how to get them back, she wanted to be friends, and she hadnt ready to love yet. Hix, it hurts me so much!
westrock Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 If i do that, will i break NC? Yes it will break NC. NC has its purposes, but don't let NC rule your life. You have to know when it is appropriate to break NC. It's up to you, but she is asking you a question and you have an opportunity here to clearly tell her what you want. If there is a time to break NC, this is it.
Author carnegie Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Yes it will break NC. NC has its purposes, but don't let NC rule your life. You have to know when it is appropriate to break NC. It's up to you, but she is asking you a question and you have an opportunity here to clearly tell her what you want. If there is a time to break NC, this is it. Thanks for your advice, westrock! I really appreciate it. She really wants to know what i m thinking. I guess i must break NC and will restart do NC tomorrow. its tough to tell her what i want without letting her know how much i love her and i need her.
Beyond Broken Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I'm in the same boat with you right now. And I think the object of NC is to get her to initiate the contact. Once she does, then its broke. Especially with that question. Answer her! Keep me/us posted.
westrock Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Thanks for your advice, westrock! I really appreciate it. She really want to know what i m thinking. I guess i must break NC and will restart do NC tomorrow. its tough to tell her what i want without letting her know how much i love her and i need her. Carnegie: Glad I can help. Just be careful how you respond back. She didn't ask you if you love her or need her. She has only asked "Why cant we be friends? " - you should only answer that question. Let us know what happens.
Author carnegie Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I txt her "i cant be your friend bc i want a relationship with you". And she responded "now i c. i really dont wanna fall in love right now, i just wanna make friends. please be my friend and wait 4 me about 1 month...i think we still have chance." about a week b4, she told me " i had lost all feelings for you" she didnt want to know what i was thinking, feeling. Why is she so needy now? i dont wanna be a "back up plan" or a #2 person in her life. i think the best way is staying in NC and show her my indifference.
boogieboy Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I txt her "i cant be your friend bc i want a relationship with you". And she responded "now i c. i really dont wanna fall in love right now, i just wanna make friends. please be my friend and wait 4 me about 1 month...i think we still have chance." about a week b4, she told me " i had lost all feelings for you" she didnt want to know what i was thinking, feeling. Why is she so needy now? i dont wanna be a "back up plan" or a #2 person in her life. i think the best way is staying in NC and show her my indifference. You didnt read the link I posted , did you? You see now why you werent supposed to answer her? You replied to her Crap, and she smacked you in the face. Makes you feel bad dont it? Shes full of Shyt, and put you right back where she wanted you. She only wants you to answer her when SHE wants to talk, and she wants to talk to you because shes lonely and because it helps her get over you. When she says "I think we still have a chance" its because, as you already see, she wants to keep you hanging on, and she wants to make sure you dont move on fast, because that would drive her nuts. She has no intention of getting back with you, she just wants to control you, and youre letting her do it. She just wants to be friends to keep you from moving on, but keep you in limbo. You gonna let her get away with that??? Please man, dont ever answer her again. Let her go nuts. Make it look like you moved on so she can suffer, dont let her control you. Its over, and you have to accept it, and you have to ignore her now, theres nothing to save. She already told you this.
Author carnegie Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 You didnt read the link I posted , did you? You see now why you werent supposed to answer her? You replied to her Crap, and she smacked you in the face. Makes you feel bad dont it? Shes full of Shyt, and put you right back where she wanted you. She only wants you to answer her when SHE wants to talk, and she wants to talk to you because shes lonely and because it helps her get over you. When she says "I think we still have a chance" its because, as you already see, she wants to keep you hanging on, and she wants to make sure you dont move on fast, because that would drive her nuts. She has no intention of getting back with you, she just wants to control you, and youre letting her do it. She just wants to be friends to keep you from moving on, but keep you in limbo. You gonna let her get away with that??? Please man, dont ever answer her again. Let her go nuts. Make it look like you moved on so she can suffer, dont let her control you. Its over, and you have to accept it, and you have to ignore her now, theres nothing to save. She already told you this. I have read the link you posted, boogieboy! Now i have a strong reason to ignore her, fully ignore her. I txt her simply and that's all what i wanna tell her. I must move on! Thank you so much boogieboy! I realize i must do NC seriously. I blocked her email, yahoo and facebook! My heart still loves her, but my head doesnt wanna think about her anymore.
boogieboy Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I have read the link you posted, boogieboy! Now i have a strong reason to ignore her, fully ignore her. I txt her simply and that's all what i wanna tell her. I must move on! Thank you so much boogieboy! I realize i must do NC seriously. I blocked her email, yahoo and facebook! My heart still loves her, but my head doesnt wanna think about her anymore. Dont worry, as long as you dont talk to her, you WILL get over her. She wont haunt your thoughts for much longer, but you have to stick to the NC. Thats all. It will take time, but it will happen.
westrock Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I txt her "i cant be your friend bc i want a relationship with you". And she responded "now i c. i really dont wanna fall in love right now, i just wanna make friends. please be my friend and wait 4 me about 1 month...i think we still have chance." about a week b4, she told me " i had lost all feelings for you" she didnt want to know what i was thinking, feeling. Why is she so needy now? i dont wanna be a "back up plan" or a #2 person in her life. i think the best way is staying in NC and show her my indifference. I think you have some clarity here. You made it clear to her that you only want a relationship and won't accept friendship. She knows exactly where you stand and what you will and will not accept. She has also made it clear she doesn't want a relationship with you. That's a tough break for you, but at least you know where things stand and you can go back to NC to heal and move on without having to keep wondering or have regrets. If she wants to comes back later, she now knows you will only accept a relationship or nothing.
Author carnegie Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 She always disturbs me by texting me. The latest sms is "seem you only love yourself. I dont wanna beg you anymore. dont think about getting back together, bc you just love yourself". I think that's stupid. She is the dumper, she doesnt care what i feel....
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