CarrieT Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I haven't had a quality date in MONTHS. I have been on the dating sites and started corresponding with a guy who writes and communicates well. I have been horrifically busy getting ready for street fairs and trade shows and have not been able to meet. I told him this and he finally asked if I would mind if he showed up at a festival where I am offering my artwork. He showed up late on Friday evening and physically, I am not really attracted to him. There was also a creepiness factor in that he has been bringing up things in my past because he has spent some time going through and googling me (nothing bad, just old associations and references which are decades old). At the show, he purchased some of my art and by mistake, his credit card was left in my credit card machine. The day-after email proved that he is "completely charmed" by me and can't wait to see me again. I, on the other, would rather not see him again but I need to find a way to return his credit card. How best to tell him I don't want to see him and again return his card? Do I actually tell him that I don't want to see him because I find his actions a bit unsettling? Or the fact that I am really not attracted to him? I haven't had a date in so long, I honestly don't have a clue how to tell a guy I don't want to see him.
boogieboy Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Dont try to sugar coat telling him youre not interested. You have to tell him straight out and dont be vague otherwise he might keep trying. You have to say it straight up to this guy. cuz Im a lil on the fence about him googling your past work, but if youre an artist, maybe he was just trying to show he was interested by doing that, i dunno. Tell him exactly that youre not interested, youre not attracted to him, and that his googling actions creeped you out. Then tell him you will say goodbye and good luck to him when you ask him for his address to return his credit card. I wonder he if left it on purpose.
Devil Inside Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Just be direct and brief. Just say you're not interested...no need for explanation...tht just fuels his need to justify and say why you're wrong...cut it...just say you're not interested...easy and simple.
Thaddeus Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Just be direct and brief. Just say you're not interested...no need for explanation...tht just fuels his need to justify and say why you're wrong...cut it...just say you're not interested...easy and simple.I have to agree with DI here. It's not complicated at all. Just give him his credit card back and when he asks you out again (which he undoubtedly will) a simple, "Thanks, but no thanks" should do the trick. Somewhat uncomfortable, yes. Complicated, no.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 My favorite line is simply thanks, I am glad we met but this isn't something I wish to explore any further. Too many people take these rejections personally, and often the person delivering it also makes it about the other person when in fact it's YOUR personal tastes and what YOU want. So if he does ask, just say it's not you it's me haha or in better terms, say I have a clear picture of what I am looking for and what I think is best for me, and good luck to you.
Author CarrieT Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 I have to agree with DI here. It's not complicated at all. Just give him his credit card back and when he asks you out again (which he undoubtedly will) a simple, "Thanks, but no thanks" should do the trick. Somewhat uncomfortable, yes. Complicated, no. The complication is that prior to this first meeting, we had only talked via email. I don't want to see him so I guess I have to ask for his address to return his credit card.
Author CarrieT Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 My favorite line is simply thanks, I am glad we met but this isn't something I wish to explore any further. Too many people take these rejections personally, and often the person delivering it also makes it about the other person when in fact it's YOUR personal tastes and what YOU want. So if he does ask, just say it's not you it's me haha or in better terms, say I have a clear picture of what I am looking for and what I think is best for me, and good luck to you. I like this -- thanks!
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