moo Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Dear Angelo_28, sorry we came off as being disrpectful. Your poem was beautiful. Some of us have a lot of anger toward are exes, but your poem was indeed lovely. I wish you well.
Author moo Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 the director left three messages up there, but removed all of the others, including a mean poem I had written for my ex.
Tony Posted August 16, 2009 Senior Moderators Posted August 16, 2009 Ordinarily I do not leave threads up that are directed at a specific member as this is against guidelines. However, in the particular thread in question here there were some horrifically mean posts, posts poking fun and off topic posts right off the bat and I think that does call for some apologies. The member just posted a poem expressing his feelings about what he felt as a devastating loss of someone he loved. For the life of me, I cannot understand the anger and discourtesy that has filled the hearts of so many people...people who are ordinarily kind...who would come to a thread and beat on someone who was obviously deeply hurt. THIS IS NOT WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR. I hope those who did such a dastardly deed here and elsewhere in the forums are ashamed and sincerely apologetic.
Tony Posted August 16, 2009 Senior Moderators Posted August 16, 2009 the director left three messages up there, but removed all of the others, including a mean poem I had written for my ex. I am sorry but the thread was by no means an invitation for others to put up their own poems.
Danielle46 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I read it and thought to myself...I wish my ex (wow that hurts to type that) would do something like this for me. I think it's beautiful that you expressed yourself this way. There are a lot of negative people out there who will try to step on you because they are bitter toward love in general...you just have to choose to ignore what you know is just rediculous. Some cannot see the positive side of a situation and the potential of a relationship...usually because something in their own life didn't work so now they are sinical toward everything good. Personally, I thought your poem gave a nice twist to all of the sad stories going around on here...it was nice to read something positive like that about someone who has true feelings for another human. `
Angelo_28 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Hi, Thanks for the support. It just hurts so much t have to let go...I love her with all that is in me. I want to marry this women and raise a family, I wanted to take care of her and provide for her...I wanted to be the man she turned to and held at night. I know that she still loves me, we spoke on the phone last monday and when we began talking about us...she started to choke-up and said she needed to get ready for work. I said ok and left it at that. I then wrote to her in a email saying that I knew she still loves me and that she probably doesn't want me to wait for her because she thinks it not fair to me to have to wait. (she is going to a very rough patch with school and work, our relationship according to her was too intense and she just needed to focus on her life right now) I know that two people in love can cope with anything together, but not everyone can realize this and not everyone goes thru life with the same mentality. She wrote me back that what I said was true and the she doesn't want me to wait, she said I should forget about her and move on and that she wants me to be happy and that she's proud that I've taken control of my life. She also said that I would always hold a special place in her heart (I was her first). I then wrote her back that I know she still loves me and that what's really unfair is for me to forget about her only because she's not ready, that would be selfish I told her. And that knowing she still loves me (without her actually saying it...) I would wait for her till the end of tme I told her...because I true love her. She hasn't wrote me back yet or called or anything...I don't know if she's playing a game and what's me to chase her or if she really just needs time alone...one thing I do know is that I love her and miss my baby very much...I think of her all the time and it freaking hurts to be apart from her...I wish I could just see her face to face and tell her all this...but she won't meet me because she said she knows that she will break down crying and want to make-up. But she doesn't want that because she has to focus on getting her career started and all....ahhhhh I just wush I could be along side her thru all this...I worry about her all the time and I just want to be there for her....I love her so dam much, why does love has to be so painful...what kind of sick joke is that God?????
PhantomSunrise Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Angelo, it SERIOUSLY sounds like you suffocated her. I'm telling you this so you can change, and have a chance at getting her back. The way you love her is coming off as ultimate, all knowing, all that's important, center of the world love. That breeds suffocation. Fast.
greenparrot Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Angelo, I know its hard to say something that helps. Especially if she was your first love, however you have to starting living for you. If she comes back, you will be a better person and if she doesnt you will have strength for life. You alreaady let her know how you feel, she doesnt need you to chase her. You have to stay strong and start living for you. She seems confused, give her time to think it out, time for her to miss you. Meanwhile you have to get on with your life. The first days are the worst hell, I know it. I felt like everything was screwed for me forever. Now its been 2 months, and every day that she doesnt contact me I feel better. I still love her to death, but I cant keep hurting my life for her, you and I need someone who is there always and doesnt need time to think it out. Stay strong dude.
TaraMaiden Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 You need to initiate no contact and give yourself time to heal.... the problem was, you propelled yourself hook line, sinker and soul into a complete, full-on heady relationship. It was all or nothing. And I have to say, you sound young.... if your ex- is still at school (well, she could be a tutor, I guess....!) then you're baring your heart too fast, too soon. Life is worth the living, if you come to terms with the fact that everything - without any exception whatsoever - has a beginning, a middle and an end. Some things end more quickly than others, some can't end quickly enough.... but whatever it is, it passes. And so will this pain. Right now, you're at peak. And like I said in the other thread - too much man, too much.... you need to stop beating yourself up like this. You're a nice guy, I'm sure - so go easy on you.
Angelo_28 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I never suffocated her...she nagged me all the time to spend every minute with her!!! I knew this was impossible to do and continued to work on my music and career because I knew if I moved out, she would of wanted to move in with me. "well stupid Angelo...isn't that a good thing!?!?!?" your probably saying, and yes it would of been. But shes in school and works at night. I'm 28 and she's 24. It would not of been fait to her for me to ask her to move out with me or even let her when I knew she wasn't ready. But she left anyway, all because she never really understood what I was doing...working my ass off while she studied so that I could securely move out with her, buy a house and live comfortably...but she wanted to live in the here and now part of life...not seeing the bigger picture and her parents were also influencing her. When I began my career and I showed my letter of acceptance to her father as if I was telling him "look...your doughter is not with a bum but a man that will be able to care for her and provide for her.." ever since then her parents had thier noses up at me as if I was the devil coming to take thier little girl away. She listens to her parents as if christ himself was talking, and her mother hates me! Why I don't know...I spoiled her rotten and her mother still hates me!!! And I know she left me partly due to her parents hating me...her sister went thru the same thing before and broke up with her BF for over a year till she woke up and realized what had happended. Her sister's BF warned me about her parents and that the same thing would happen to me. Guess he was right...stupid thing is why didn't my ex see this happening and confront her parents....damit!
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I'm sorry man. Loss can be hard to handle. But you HAVE to turn your head. Spit apathy on the bridge she has burned. You need to find YOU again. YOU without HER. And the only way is cutting her off and doing for you.
Angelo_28 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I realize that I wasn't perfect either...we had our differences like any other couple. But she never really had a dominate father figure, I mean, her father is a really nice guy (when he likes you), but her mother runs the house and he just "lives" there. He's the only "man" of the house and with 3 other women living there...mommy is the boss lol. But in my case it's the complete opposite...my mom is alone with 3 men, dad and my brother, so the way we think is different lol. I guess that's only normal...but it did creat some conflicts between us and you try telling a women she's wrong lol it's suicide lol I always admitted my faults but she never would appologize for anything lol ahhh you women!!!! But I guess that's cute in it's own way. I loved to see her get all wiered up lol her expressions where so cute that I would do it on purpose sometimes to push her buttons lol just to get a small rise out of her...she did the same to me lol. God I miss her so much!
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Dude, turn away. You don't have to accept or forgive. But you have to move forward. Don't stare in the rearview when the road to the future lays in front of you.
Angelo_28 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I had wrote her a poem before the other one I sent her...she never commented on it either...here it is. (cara'mia means my love in Italian) Cara’mia, Should I keep on loving you, Should I continue to care? Should I keep longing, To smell your hair? Should I fritter each passing day, Thinking of you in every way? Should my heart smoulder amid desire, To hold you close forever? You left me and now I am but one, Fearing the harm cannot be undone. I’ve made you miserable and sad, The pain I cause is driving me mad. I know I should give you space and time, Instead of calling or this lame rhyme. Laugh if you so must, Just know my heart has turned to dust. The other day I took a walk, To myself I began to talk. I ended up where we first sat, In the old port, you remember that? It was crowded, People everywhere, Yet our bench was empty, So I sat there. I thought of the conversations That we shared, And how I loved you Right then and there. I then gazed at the vessel, Our first big date as a couple. And I saw that famous window, Steam covered I wrote I love you. That was the first time I spoke my heart, You replied your equal part. I remember feeling so free, When you replied you love me. That was a happy day, Forever it will stay. The first time I felt true love, You were like an angel from above. As I stood there still watching, Seeing us romanticizing. At that moment, I knew what I lost And now, my sufferance is the cost. We had many happy days, We showed our love in many ways. By the rock where we first kissed, Your tender lips I do so miss. I have failed to convey, My appreciation in your ways. I neglected you I know, My love I failed to show. I know what I must do, To change your heart so blue. To show you that I'm true, When I say, Cara'mia I love you. As I walked away from the port, I felt empty and erased. I turned back to look once more, Hoping to see you face. I'm sorry for what I've done, Or the lack there of. Your love was like a dove, And away it flew above. Time will only tell, If this painful spell, Will break the depth of hell, And bring back my loving angel. I miss you with every cell in my heart, It's so painful to be apart, I'll love you with each passing year, Even with my heart filled with tears... I'll love you forever Cara'mia..... Angelo xxxx
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 There's one thing you should NEVER tell a woman. I love you, and I'll always be there for you. You are a man. Albeit, sensitive, but a man none the less. Does it seem very "manly" to write poems over and over and keep sending them to her? Obviously its getting you nowhere. You need to stop the clinging and start releasing your death grip on the already deceased relationship.
Angelo_28 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I guess your right...but I know she still loves me, I can hear it in her voice when we spoke on the phone...it's as if she is being influenced to stay away from me. I mean she probably takes advise from her friends (that are all still single mind you and all her guy friends at work and stuff all want to get in her pants, but she's too nieve to realize that) and I just don't understand why she won't face me...it's not like her!
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I know the feeling. People who are easily persuaded by outsiders shouldn't be in serious relationships anyway, Angelo. Look, you have to find an outlet for your emotions. But repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity. Cut her off. Heal. Do for you. You have no choice mate.
Angelo_28 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I know...but it would be so much easier if she agreed to meet to tell me to my face that she doesn't love me anymore and that it's over...you know, proper closure...but everytime I try to get her to face me (she left me over the phone man! After 3 years that's the respect she gives me!) she says that it would be just too painful to meet for her...doesn't that sound like a person still in love and unsure of thier decision? It sure does to me!
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Bro, you have to stop being blinded by your love for this girl. Honestly, it sounds like the same thing to me that it was with my ex. She didn't want to face me because she was GUILTY. Guilt is the heaviest sword to bear. She is a coward for doing it by phone. A total coward. My first LT RS ended via AIM and that was a 4 year relationship. AIM! Look, regardless of answers, or whatever reason she has for doing this, you won't feel any better. I know I won't. I'll think its fixable. In her mind, it's beyond repair. Closure comes with TIME. You will find the answers you seek, maybe not with her, but with someone far greater. But you need to chop the pedastal you have created for this girl down. You're boosting someone up when they are cowardly and backstabbing you. It's hard to do, but it will happen man.
Angelo_28 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I know bro...and I get what ur telling me. I spoke to her today, and old problem arrose again involving me and her and after we spoke about it...we began to talk about us. this time she was more open to talk about her feelings but still closed off a bit...it's almost like im removing brick by brick of the wall she put up...and that she's the one that gave me the hammer by contacting me. She was more civil about it and still emotional and she admitted to me that its her parents that don't want her with me....but her heart is still for me. I can't wait to remove that last brick and rebuild everything with her...if this happens, Im movin far away with her...where her parents cant manipulate her anymore!
Pfiend101 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Mine broke up with me through a text man........... at least you got some words through the phone. I know how you feel. Guilt if thats the case on her part, is the most selfish feeling someone can have. Make amends and move on. I have been 2 months no contact and I have heard nothing. I probably wont ever which I'm starting to realize. It is what it is.
utterer of lies Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Dear Angelo_28, sorry we came off as being disrpectful. Your poem was beautiful. Some of us have a lot of anger toward are exes, but your poem was indeed lovely. I wish you well. What now, Moo can actually be mean? Hard to believe.
Author moo Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 Hi Utterer, To Angelo: I hope you continue to heal. Be strong.
utterer of lies Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Hi Utterer, To Angelo: I hope you continue to heal. Be strong. Hi Moo. Editing troubles?
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