The Girl Across The Road...

[Spiderpug]

Ok, so theres this girl im interested in across the road. I think she likes me... but really not sure, i cant get a girlfriend or talk to girls for peanuts!

 

So the first time I talked to this girl was when she was walking up and down my road, she noticed i was walking down the road with my two nephews and she asked for their names and how old were they...

As I do, I totally froze and couldnt help but answer her questions really quickly. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds and the i was like "cool" and I sort of kept on going, cause I didn't have the confidence to talk to her.

 

The second time she said something to me was when i was out side, just about to walk inside and she told me the dog was out on the road... so she went over and patted the dog. They neighbours were right by us talking on the road. She kept patting the dog while i was there, I wanted to say something like "thanks, whats your name again?". She didn't make eye contact, and I just said thanks and then she walked off casually. I was so guttered it was so perfect to ask her questions and once again i didn't! :C

 

Then another time, the dog ran straight across the road to her house, my brother in law told me to go get her otherwise she might get run over. So I walked over casually hoping she wouldn't know I was nervous. Her dad was outsidde with a 4x4 dropping her off. When I walked over to get the dog, she blushed and patted the dog. I don't know what that means, whether she was embarrased by her dad being there or the dog? but yea im totally clueless and have no idea about how to become a friend to her or what these signs mean.

 

I've seen her a few times, i look out the window so she cant see me, and she often stares into my window when shes gets out of the car or putting the garage door down... I dont know whether this is soley because its just straight across the road and its just a general direction you look.

 

Girls... Please help, I don't know what to do.

 

I thought if its raining and I see her walking home I should pick her up and give her a lift to her house. I hope she wouldnt think i was being annoying or something. I dont know if I have the guts to do this either. Plus I dont think her parents like us neighbours across the road anyway because on new years we got drunk and accidentaly shot fireworks at their garage and her dad was angry as!

 

Anyway, I NEED Help. PLease! I'm sending out a dating S.O.S!

 

James,

18 Year old....

[Samari]

James, I think you're trying to dissect this entire situation way too much. I used to exactly like you. Describing my issues and certain scenarios with one encounter with one random girl that was more or less a stranger and making into a novel on a message board.

 

I'm not a girl, I'm a guy (I really think guys should ask other guys for advice on this kind of stuff anyways, it only makes sense.) However I think the solution to your problem is very clear. Talk to the girl. Plain and simple. Talk to her like she's any other random person on the street. Try your best not to act nervous when conversing. Be casual, and just make some general small talk. Just don't be a windbag (don't talk too much about yourself, or don't talk that much period.)

 

Oh and if things just don't ever work out with this person, then it's not a big deal. There are plenty of fish in the sea. No one guy should EVER get worked up about a random girl that isn't giving him the time of day. Ever. In fact, you'll probably run into girls during your lifetime that are just plain bitches.

[Spiderpug]

Thanks for your advice man. I think you are right. I saw her walking up and down the street on a saturday once... Should I go out onto the street, pretend im getting something out of my car and then, if she walks by... just say hi. I just want to be friends, she seems like a very likable person.

 

Damn I am a noob at this game haha

[Green]

The other poster had good advice. It doesn't sound like you want to be this girls friend, but more like you want to date her. If you want to date her I suggest you aproach her at such. I relize you don't have much experience with women but you need to just go out and talk, and flirt with this girl. Do things like asking her to hang out with you and trying to touch/kiss her that could get you slapped or rejected. Obviously be respectful but my point is don't approach her as just wanting to be her friend, but as a flirty fun guy who wants to date her. and be ready to be rejected, in fact put yourself in situations where you could be rejected... playing it safe and hiding in your room while trying to figure out if she looks at ur window will get you nowhere

[caduceus]

She's looking for you. That's why she's looking at your window. Maybe to just see if you're there, maybe to see if you're looking out the window at her.

I actually had the same situation. I was 19 and a girl moved into the apt accross the hall from me, and whenever either of us opened our door, the other would look out, to see who was there.

Finally, I got tired of looking like a stalker, and asked her over to watch a movie ( I think it was Die Hard or Terminator or some damn thing).

I let her know that night that I was interested in being more than friends. I told her that she had the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen. That was enough without being too pushy, or "grabby".

I let her take it from there. We started hanging out, and within nine months she had moved in with me. We were together two years.

She finally moved back home to go to college.

I actually ran into her a couple of years ago at Voodoo Fest, and exchanged email addresses, but I'm married with kids now and so is she, and my wife would NOT understand.

And no, don't make up some lame assed excuse for being outside when she is. Just go over and talk to her, when you see her out, and tell her what's on your mind. Worst she can say is "No", and that never killed anyone.

[Spiderpug]

Thanks for the advice. I do want to just be friends if anything at all. I dont want to rush anything cause ive never had a real date... since i was like 5 lol!

[Samari]

The other poster had good advice. It doesn't sound like you want to be this girls friend, but more like you want to date her. If you want to date her I suggest you aproach her at such. I relize you don't have much experience with women but you need to just go out and talk, and flirt with this girl. Do things like asking her to hang out with you and trying to touch/kiss her that could get you slapped or rejected. Obviously be respectful but my point is don't approach her as just wanting to be her friend, but as a flirty fun guy who wants to date her. and be ready to be rejected, in fact put yourself in situations where you could be rejected... playing it safe and hiding in your room while trying to figure out if she looks at ur window will get you nowhere

Disagree with this somewhat. You can still be friends with a girl while having intentions to potentially date her. I would first and foremost like to be friends with a girl before we date. Actually I don't see how you can't be friends with a girl when dating her. I'm guessing you mean term "friend" in the sense that the only relationship one would have with other is excludes any intimacy.

 

In any case, yeah you can be a flirty/fun person when conversing with someone new. But really, you don't want to go overboard with it and come off as a slimeball. Or just someone pathetic. Really, being a friend first is the key. That's how most relationships blossom. Girls like to take things slow until they get into a comfort zone. They want to know someone pretty well before they venture out. Which is fine, and it makes perfect sense. So it takes some patience I've learned. Sometimes it can depend on the girl though. Some girls will just hook up with anybody at the drop of a hat. I'm personally not into girls like those for the most part. I like to make sure I know a girl a little bit.

[Spiderpug]

Yes, Agreed. I do just want to be friends with this girl just to start off with... I might find shes not into me or that im not into her as much as I thought. I really need a situation though to be out on the street so I can just say hi. I only want to start off with something small and maybe after just that little "hi" I can have longer conversations with her, maybe ask her what music she's into and invite her over to listen to mine.

 

But I hope I don't give up... I always have done in the past. I always think I would like to meet "that girl" and I think about it for ages but never get the courage to do anything about it. Its just like a phase I go through and I give up and just forget about it completely...

[Samari]

Yes, Agreed. I do just want to be friends with this girl just to start off with... I might find shes not into me or that im not into her as much as I thought. I really need a situation though to be out on the street so I can just say hi. I only want to start off with something small and maybe after just that little "hi" I can have longer conversations with her, maybe ask her what music she's into and invite her over to listen to mine.

 

But I hope I don't give up... I always have done in the past. I always think I would like to meet "that girl" and I think about it for ages but never get the courage to do anything about it. Its just like a phase I go through and I give up and just forget about it completely...

Well it seems like your only issue is talking to a pretty face. Like I said earlier, just talk to this person like you would anyone. Be friends with her first. Get to know her. So that you'll find out what kind of person she is and whether you either want to pursue something more than a simple friendship, or just be a friend. You'll figure out if you start hanging around her enough.

 

So if you see her around, smile casually and say "hey what's up." And try your best not to come off as some nervous weirdo. Try to relax and things will work itself out.

 

And if things don't work out at all, then no big deal. That is the most important thing to remember out of all of this. If anything, it would be a good experience to go through. The more girls you talk to, the easier it gets.

[Spiderpug]

Cheers Bro for the advice!

 

Thanks