piticu Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Hi all. I am fishing for some advice here. Quick background (you can check my old posts as well): we split close to two months ago due to her having to choose between ex and me (he kept pursuing her throughout our relationship). I was the rebound after they split due to him cheating on her (2 months before we met) We were together for 4 months. She told me she needs space and time to think and to sort her life (was finishing college and had lots of exams). When she asked for space I initially pursued her but after a few days I told her to take the time she needs and to look me up if she thinks we have a change. She contacted me in the first week with silly things and I told her to contact me if she wants to give us a change, but otherwise to leave me be. She still contacted me, once to invite me for a ride on skates (to which I went), sent me a text (rather weird one) and then an email quoting a song. This was over 2 weeks ago. However, 4 days ago I got a text message from her telling me she dreamed of me and that she had her plushie with her in her home town(i gave it to her when we split, telling her that it's his job to take care of her from that moment). 2 days ago she checked my blog and commented and yesterday she was checking it again to see if I have answered her comment. I was thinking to ask her out for a coffee or a skate ride (I was the one that taught her to skate). I have to admit this is making me a bit nervous but I really want to see her and see if we still connect. I know I can keep it light and positive, as it happened the last time we went for a skate ride (a month ago). My question is: should I ask her out? Or stuff it and keep NC further?
Davey McG Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 No. Don't call her. If she wants to get back together with you, she'll be knocking the door down. Otherwise, she just wants an ego-boost. Wait for her to make the first actual move -like coming round or actually calling you and expliciltly asking. Maintain NC.
Dmoney28 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 well, seeing how the relationship you guys had, wasnt that long (4 months). I would continue with NC. Trust me from someone who was in the posistion of her ex BF. You want to give her a much time as possible to sort out the mess with her ex. If you start hanging out with her now...it will complicate things. Because i can assure you 99% ...she is not done with her ex. You want that situation to DIE before you even start hanging out with her. Because you will be caught in this sick, twisted emotional game of i love him..but i like him, game. Not a good idea to be envolved in a triangle of love and hurt
Author piticu Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 I don't really believe that she will come knocking down the door and crying and all that. This stuff is for the movies. People generally don't want to get rejected and they take precautions so this does not happen. This why I believe that if she wants to try again she will ease up into contact. As for her ex, I am quite positive they won't ever get back together. She was really hurt when he cheated on her and she is strongly against cheating. I know they might have met, as they come from the same city. During our relationship she changed her phone numbers as her ex was really annoying but he got hold of her new number and started sending messages again. We used to laugh about this when she was reading them to me, saying she got "the morning paper". The thing is that I want to get her to realize somehow that I still care about her and that I want us to start something new. There are two things I kinda fear right now: the "friend zone" and the rejection. Although I fear them I accept that this can happen and I know how to deal with them.
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