Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I feel like twentysomething guys are always in relationships. It seems like older guys are more likely to be married, but also more likely to be single and not in a relationship. Older guys and teenagers are the guys that smile at me on the street; guys my age don't and I always assume it's because they're taken. Might there be some truth to this? It seems to be pretty consistent across cities and regions...
joseffrost Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I'd say it's a pretty even spread, though I think in cities the number of singles is higher - most of my friends and myself live in London and are in that age group, and I'd say roughly 75% are single.
Yamaha Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I would say there are plenty of guys in your age range that are not in relationships, just the ones you seem to be interested in. Women like guys who already have a gal.....
WTRanger Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 They could be assuming you are taken as well. If I see a girl my age, which is the outside of your age range you listed, 28, I usually look for a ring on her finger. It could be that guys, and gals for that matter, who are in their mid to late twenties are tired of going through the ringer of relationships. They are tired of the BS and the games. They say, "To hell with this! I'm single until I hit 30! Then, it's time to panic." They tend to think as they mature, the games will stop. Which, unfortunately, I don't think is the case. It's just a transition out of that high school / college / new professional dating lifestyle. As I said, I'm 28 and I'm single so there's one for the count!
Jimmy's_Brother Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Really? I'm 25 and single. I think it's a bit silly to make such blanket statements. The problem, really, is that you are engaging in self-pity and placing the "blame" for your unhappiness on the world at large. I might as well make a thread that says something generic and untrue, like "All girls in their 20s are b*tches."
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Really? I'm 25 and single. I think it's a bit silly to make such blanket statements. The problem, really, is that you are engaging in self-pity and placing the "blame" for your unhappiness on the world at large. I might as well make a thread that says something generic and untrue, like "All girls in their 20s are b*tches." Whoa whoa whoa. Who said I was unhappy? I could just as well complain that there are never any of my favorite kind of donuts in the shop. Doesn't mean I'm bitter. Also, I'm not stupid. Of course there are going to be exceptions to every rule. Just saying that guys in their twenties are the ones that are expected to be single, but by and large they don't seem to be available.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Women like guys who already have a gal..... I've never gone after a taken guy or for that matter, wanted to, in my life. That is why I am frustrated--because availability attracts me!
Jimmy's_Brother Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Whoa whoa whoa. Who said I was unhappy? Well, it's pretty easy to see. Why else would you go online and make a statement like that? It's ludicrous, Isolde. There are no statements like that which are EVER true. You see a lot of them being tossed around on this site (guys are jerks, so and so type of group is never single). Look: even if your claim IS true, what is the point in going down that line of thought? It is self-defeating, self-pitying and ultimately a self-esteem killer. I could come up with reasons and justifications all day long about why I am single. Ultimately I am single because I have not met someone who I have clicked with. This is surely the same case with you. Hold out hope and be yourself and stop worrying about who the heck out there is single. Focus on what you DO have, because you are much more fortunate than millions of others in this world.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Well, it's pretty easy to see. Why else would you go online and make a statement like that? It's ludicrous, Isolde. There are no statements like that which are EVER true. You see a lot of them being tossed around on this site (guys are jerks, so and so type of group is never single). Look: even if your claim IS true, what is the point in going down that line of thought? It is self-defeating, self-pitying and ultimately a self-esteem killer. I could come up with reasons and justifications all day long about why I am single. Ultimately I am single because I have not met someone who I have clicked with. This is surely the same case with you. Hold out hope and be yourself and stop worrying about who the heck out there is single. Focus on what you DO have, because you are much more fortunate than millions of others in this world. Wow, you're really overanalyzing. I'm just stating how I feel. I'm not blaming anyone. Also, I think I'm fully more aware than anyone else, of the areas in which I'm fortunate, and don't need reminding.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Ultimately I am single because I have not met someone who I have clicked with. This is surely the same case with you. I don't disagree.
Jimmy's_Brother Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 So you are allowed to state your opinion and I am not? I am not over analyzing anything. I see a girl who resists advice and simply wants others to reassure her in the simplest way possible. My opinion is that it is precisely this kind of negative, self-defeating attitude that contributes to your lack of meeting guys. You have already lost the game, you feel, so what's the point in even playing? Your response to mine was basically like, "I KNOW, DUH." Do you just want responses from those that agree with you?
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 So you are allowed to state your opinion and I am not? I am not over analyzing anything. I see a girl who resists advice and simply wants others to reassure her in the simplest way possible. My opinion is that it is precisely this kind of negative, self-defeating attitude that contributes to your lack of meeting guys. You have already lost the game, you feel, so what's the point in even playing? Your response to mine was basically like, "I KNOW, DUH." Do you just want responses from those that agree with you? Wait, what advice have I resisted?
Jimmy's_Brother Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I think you were pretty quick to dismiss my statement about appreciating what you DO have. Go see "The Hurt Locker" and get back to me about life.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 I think you were pretty quick to dismiss my statement about appreciating what you DO have. Go see "The Hurt Locker" and get back to me about life. I said that no one but me is qualified to tell me what I should and shouldn't appreciate. For your information, I had a lovely afternoon spent on my own. Not everything posted on LS has to be profound and meaningful or even, for that matter, a statement of objective fact. I'm not going to apologize for sensing there aren't a lot of single guys my age. I'm certainly not crying about it. I'm friendly and happy and don't get dates, so it's not really unnatural for me to question if there just isn't a large pool to begin with.
westernxer Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Go see "The Hurt Locker" and get back to me about life. Compared to bomb disarmament in Iraq, I'm sure we'd all be more appreciative of the things we don't have. LOL
Jimmy's_Brother Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Compared to bomb disarmament in Iraq, I'm sure we'd all be more appreciative of the things we don't have. LOL Yep, that's the point. Isolde, I'm just trying to bring some perspective to your situation. Sorry if I made it worse.
Yamaha Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I've never gone after a taken guy or for that matter, wanted to, in my life. That is why I am frustrated--because availability attracts me! I'm not saying women go after taken men but many guys have told me they have many more women interested in them when they have a gf. It seems that if a women sees another women with a guy she is curious about him because he is in a realtionship.
Woggle Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I'm not saying women go after taken men but many guys have told me they have many more women interested in them when they have a gf. It seems that if a women sees another women with a guy she is curious about him because he is in a realtionship. This is so true. I have had so many chances to cheat since I got my wedding ring. I don't get it but taken men certainly have more options. As for the topic I know plenty of men that age that are single.
westernxer Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Isolde, are you having trouble finding someone due to a lack of supply or a lack or flexibility? Not saying you have to abandon the more important aspects of your criteria, but sometimes ideals can betray us, especially in the long run when it comes to finding meaningful relationships.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Isolde, are you having trouble finding someone due to a lack of supply or a lack or flexibility? Not saying you have to abandon the more important aspects of your criteria, but sometimes ideals can betray us, especially in the long run when it comes to finding meaningful relationships. Believe me, it's not like I haven't thought of that. The truth is, though, that I've turned down but a handful of guys in my life, and all for justified reasons. I haven't been asked out in about a year, if that clears things up for you at all.
Woggle Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Please don't take this as an insult but maybe there is a vibe you are giving off unconciously that is a turnoff to men.
dreamergrl Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Please don't take this as an insult but maybe there is a vibe you are giving off unconciously that is a turnoff to men. I used to have this problem. I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me that I was coming across snobby or 'better then' others. Really I was just more quiet and shy. Not saying this is the exact reason, but maybe something to consider? And, I remember talking with you on the other thread about the worries and what not, and I think my 'vibe' changed more so when I started letting go.
Author Isolde Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 I used to have this problem. I didn't realize it until it was pointed out to me that I was coming across snobby or 'better then' others. Really I was just more quiet and shy. Not saying this is the exact reason, but maybe something to consider? And, I remember talking with you on the other thread about the worries and what not, and I think my 'vibe' changed more so when I started letting go. While I think my friends would tell me if I exuded this kind of vibe, you may have a point there. I'll try the not worrying so much thing
IrishCarBomb Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 IMO all girls in that age are taken. You're both wrong. Everyone, both men and women, age 22-28 are taken. After that, everyone is married.
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