infjer Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 I've been dating my bf for almost two years and things have been wonderful. We now live together and have been talking about marriage. The relationship is and has been perfect, except for one thing. He was married for about a year until he found out his ex wife had been seeing another man the whole time. (They have no kids, thank god.) The problem is that she's the sister of my bf's brother's wife. My bf told me that when they got a divorce, he had to accept the fact that she would always be in the picture.... The brother has a little boy, so all the birthday parties, holidays, etc. she'll be there. Since we've been dating, however, the ex won't come around because she "can't deal" with seeing us together, even though she's still with the guy she was screwing while married. The problem I'm having is that no one in the family sees this as an issue, but it's starting to get on my nerves. I'm close to his family as well and they assume I'm just a really strong person who could care less about his ex. They are right, in that sense. I really don't care about her or her (pathetic) attempts to contact my bf since I've been around. I trust him completely. What does bother me is that I constantly have to hear about her. Daily. And I don't feel like that will ever change. The whole situation is a mess. My bf tries to make me as comfortable as he can, but he can only do so much. I've accepted that the normal divorce issues will come up, but I would just like to think that we could have a relationship where his ex wife doesn't come up constantly. Is that too much to ask, or should I just learn to live with it? I love him dearly, so I want to make sure I'm on the right path. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 This is an issue where if you know shes going to come up constantly, you have to learn to not let it bother you. We are an adaptable species. We can learn to get used to things and then they dont affect us. If you know you have no choice, you might as well get used to hearing her name, and start to get used to the thought of not letting it bother you. It will only work if YOU want it to work. You have to play jedi mind tricks on yourself. I assume you already know if you asked his family to not mention her in your presence it would make you look bad. Link to post Share on other sites
OldBull Posted August 15, 2009 Share Posted August 15, 2009 If I ever met your bf's ex, I'd tell her "Good job girl, you really got to infjer! She's at the breaking point and really can't stand your antics anymore!" Just barf on her. Link to post Share on other sites
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