Bleed Internal Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I can honestly say that ever since I found out my ex-girlfriend cheated on me and dumped her a month ago, I haven't gone more than a few minutes without thinking about her in some capacity.Since the break up, I've had many very fun times, been with new girls, stayed busy with a great book, done well at work, and for the most part, maintained No Contact.I feel like I'm doing all the right things, but I still can't get completely over a girl I once loved sleeping with someone else.I'll never forgive her or take her back, but sometimes I get the urge to see her again or have a casual sex relationship. I'm so lost. Please help me.
Thaddeus Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 It's perfectly normal. It's a combination of jealousy, grief and sexual longing. Just keep up the NC. It will get better with time.
Ronni_W Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 BI, I'm not sure if you WANT to stop thinking about her, or if you're okay with just having the same repetitive thoughts that you've been choosing to hold in your mind? If you do want to change them, you will have to take charge and start interrupting your thoughts of her (or any other unwanted thoughts/mental pictures) as soon as you become aware that you're "doing it again", and replace them with something else --anything else. It takes practice but if you're consistent and persistent, you ought to notice improvements within 2 to 4 weeks. Good luck!
Author Bleed Internal Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 It's perfectly normal. It's a combination of jealousy, grief and sexual longing. Just keep up the NC. It will get better with time. One of the best things about NC is that things really do get better if you stick to it. Of course, I still get urges but when NC becomes the norm, you get used to it, and breaking it for any reason seems increasingly irrational.I hit these low points because I thought this girl was my dream girl and the love of my life, but neither of those would cheat on me and break my heart. I need to separate perception from reality and realize she simply isn't who I thought she was.
Recommended Posts