Azza1985 Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Hello everyone here, first i would like to say what a wonderful community, your tales and advise have really eased my own personal journey. but anyway i guess its my turn to share and tell a tale that has no doubt driven everyone of my family members to utter distraction over the past 6 weeks. To cut a long story short lost a girl that was who i thought "the one", which is ironic considering. Essentially the relationship started about 12 months after i had ended a relationship with another girl, my newly found ex was not happy with this relationship in the first place (high school sweethearts that ended up breaking up in high school due to an overly protective mother), but still she waited. 2005 came and sure enough she chased knowing i was single she chased with vigor and persistence, i was still a bit gun shy and put up a wall to ward off any chance of being hurt again, jump forward 12 months and finally that wall was broken down and sure enough i was in love, though the relationship was not perfect (over protective mother still pulled the strings), we were a couple and for 4 years it remained that way. But like most stories on this board it ended with myself being dumped and left to pick up the emotional pieces. the first 4 weeks after the break up were torture never have i had to endure an event so painful. but now at week 6 i feel like i am learning and moving on, life is different and each day is still a struggle, but i guess now its time to move forward and enjoy life again, to stop clinging to hope and to forge a new and prosperous life, but like all great things this wont happen over night, i still miss her with all my heart and turn to the people out there that know what i am going through the best and humbly ask for your support. I know i can beat this but a helping hand would not go astray. Thanks for reading my tale and i look forward to joining your community and supporting all those that feel the bitter sweet kiss that is loss.
onthebrinkofitall Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 You brought tears to my eyes. Reading other peoples' stories on here is so hard sometimes.. because you feel what they're going through. And even though you know there's no magic button you can push to make it all better, you just want someone to be there.. to relate.. misery loves company! Good thing we're all miserable already. Music is really theraputic for me, as well as poetry. There's a book of poetry called "The Hell With Love: Poems To Mend A Broken Heart". If you're a fan of poetry, I highly suggest it. Also, if you read, "Love is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song At a Time" is an excellent book. I myself am married. I've known my husband for several years though we've only been married for a few months. He wants a divorce already. It breaks my heart and I think the hardest thing is realizing that you're strong enough to move on.. but sh*t, it's hard! I wish I had some magical words or a wand to make it better but you know as well as I do, those things don't exist. Sometimes I sit here for hours, reading peoples' posts. Seems like there are so many people who just can't seem to pick the right person or they end up with someone who didn't want to make it work.. or.. there are so many scenarios. I often wonder, why can't the good, committed people end up together? My grandma usually tells me that there are people out there who are going through worse things than me and I should be thankful for what I have. While I realize she's trying to help.. she isn't. I know there are people who are worse off than me.. FAR worse off but I'm still a human being and I'm still hurting. Try to remember this, when you're alone at night, in your bed [trying to get some sleep with no luck!], soaking your pillow with tears [if you're a cryer-I am!], there are thousands of others doing the same thing.. just trying to get through another day/night. It's a struggle but I hear that enough time will heal just about anything.. I've yet to go through this myself but I'm sure it will happen. If you ever need an ear to listen, come on here and yack away.. I check these boards every day. I may not have any great advice but I am a great listener and sometimes, you just need someone to talk to. I hope you have lots of reasons to smile today.
Author Azza1985 Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 That you for your kind message onthebrinkofitall your quite right that misery does enjoy company. I can't express how sorry i feel for you and what your going through, being married for such a short time seems to me to be such a horrible way of teasing someone. I hope you find solace. at least we can say well im still alive. what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right (here's hoping!) Take care and stay strong.
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