Taucher Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Ok, we all know the dangers of Facebook when Exes are concerned. Me and my ex delted each other and all of each others friends from Facebook. So I dont have access to her page or have status updates from anyone who knows her. Just now, however, I searched for her name (WHY?!). When we were going out, she wasn't really into Facebook. She had, like, 20 friends. And the picture for her page was a long range shot of her in a field, and you could not tell who it was. She chose this photo mainly to stop people from finding her and contacting her. However, just doing a search now reveals that she has changed her profile picture to a full lenght, very detailed shot of her on her recent holida to Spain or somewhere, stood on a balcony looking absoloutly stunning and smiling. This has killed me. I was doing so well. Why should this bother me. There are countless FB photos of me LOOKING happy. But seeing this has set me back so far. I feel like s*it, and am actually crying, like a big idiot. What's wrong with me? Why should this bother me so much? I was doing so well. Please talk to me. T
gypsi Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 aaah i did this a couple of nights ago...dont know why i wanted to torcher myslef but yes mine was looking more beautiful than ever, all tanned making her gorgeous eyes stand out even more blowing a kiss! New pic of her looking more happier than ever. Nothings wrong with you, we still have feelings for them our curiousty gets the better of us and we take a peak...and that little peak tears our wounded heart wide open again! Like now i cant get the image of her out of my head and that i wont be kissing her ever again . Next time just remember how much it hurt trust me you wont do it again i sure as hell wont do it again!
TaraMaiden Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Don't blame facebook. It does nothing. Blame yourself..... Willpower, dearest......!
Author Taucher Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 aaah i did this a couple of nights ago...dont know why i wanted to torcher myslef but yes mine was looking more beautiful than ever, all tanned making her gorgeous eyes stand out even more blowing a kiss! New pic of her looking more happier than ever. Nothings wrong with you, we still have feelings for them our curiousty gets the better of us and we take a peak...and that little peak tears our wounded heart wide open again! Like now i cant get the image of her out of my head and that i wont be kissing her ever again . Next time just remember how much it hurt trust me you wont do it again i sure as hell wont do it again! Whoa, you really DO know how I am feeling. Sorry you are going through the same but nice to know I am not alone. So true about not getting the image out of your head and not kissing her ever again. Stupidly, I DID look again. The picture has changed again and it has changed to one of her in the distance and you cant make out who she is. Wonder why? Oh well, who cares? Don't blame facebook. It does nothing. Blame yourself..... Willpower, dearest......! *deep breath* Thanks TaraMaiden, you are totally right. Blaming Facebook is a bit daft. Still, blaming an inanimate object makes me feel better about myself but I THOUGHT I was in a position of acceptance and didnt need to blame anyone but myself. Doesn't look that way. Although I feel better today. I think I need a slap T
Devil Inside Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I too have killed myself by looking at an old flame's picture on facebook or other places. Never a good idea...never.
delajoonal Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 GEt rid of FB..and post here instead of searching out pics of X's... i mean just get rid of FB accts, close out your FB acct. ..and move on to something more healthy for you emotionally and physically... i.e. read and post here on LS, go to the gym, find a postive friendship/dating website, get off the computer get in your car and go for a drive...ANYTHING...just get off FB! cause FB is not going away, IT is the catalyst to SO MANY heart breaks, divorces, break ups, etc....(can anyone tell i am FB jaded.lol) anyway...my H ( whom had an online EA with some skank off of FB) left me 6 months ago..although NOT For her/OW, that EA only lasted 3 weeks...but he stayed on FB, and brags about his 117 friends on FB...hmmm..but has NO friends in REAL life, has NO W, his family is distant...i am telling you all, Facebook is bad bad bad..... its delusional, voyeuristic, narcissitic,imo... shall i go on...
adamt Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 Facebook is designed for attention seekers. It is also a way to try to give the impressions that your life is so perfect and action packed. Keep off it until you are over your ex. Block the ex if you have to
CM2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I'm serious if you have an ex on FB block them, block them so even when you wanna look at them and type in their names it won't pop up. Blocking your ex will do wonders!!!
westernxer Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 It's psychological warfare at this point... she probably knows you're gonna check up on her.
Author Taucher Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 It's psychological warfare at this point... she probably knows you're gonna check up on her. Yes, maybe. I dont have her as a friend though, so thankfully, I cant see her profile. And also, the picture has changed to a quite unflattering one where you cant tell who she is again. Oh well. Last time we spoke on the phone (4 weeks ago?) she did say that she has been looking at my site and asked me how I managed to get so many new friends. I'm out of my depth. T
joseffrost Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I'm out of my depth. I know what you mean T, I rarely go on FB but signed on to confirm a few friend requests today and just saw her pic on an old wall post to me. Nothing spectacular, just her with her dad at her grad, but it was enough to make my heart start beating faster and it gave me a sudden urge to check her profile. Luckily, I managed to resist, but I know the urge is still there. Argh!
adamt Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 perhaps there is a business opportunity here. The alternative facebook for all those getting over their ex.
silic0ntoad Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Lol. I like that idea. I've never been game for those types of websites. Hell, I hate even having a cell phone. It's freedom to not have one. Sure, I want to keep contact with people. FB and Myspace are doom. I haven't checked hers since we split up. I have no desire to hurt myself. Besides, IMHO, FB and MS are simply full of sociopathic social parasites.
kizik Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Just now, however, I searched for her name (WHY?!). "Why?" indeed. Buddy, I am sorry you are going through this, but let's face it: you brought this particular pain upon yourself. I've been broken up with my ex GF now for over a year, but I'm not willing to indulge my curiosity about her by searching, checking, anything. I know that the pain is right around the corner, should I become overly ambitious with my curiosity. Get this: f*cking Facebook suggests your ex as your friend, effectively making it impossible to go completely NC. I NEVER looked for her, but there she was, smiling in a little picture. Ugh. Had to get my friend (who was luckily sitting next to me) to "x" that little box out. Don't search for her anymore, OK? Good luck.
La de Longe Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 You're so not alone on this. I just blocked the guy's profile, because I couldn't resist the urge to check up on him. Granted it's only been a week, but I'm going strong. If you're not FB friends with them and have no intention of ever contacting them again this is really the way to go. It's like they died. You'll never hear anything about them.
Author Taucher Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I know what you mean T, I rarely go on FB but signed on to confirm a few friend requests today and just saw her pic on an old wall post to me. Nothing spectacular, just her with her dad at her grad, but it was enough to make my heart start beating faster and it gave me a sudden urge to check her profile. Luckily, I managed to resist, but I know the urge is still there. Argh! It's a killer isn't it? And I guess the picture of her, although you weren't in it, was taken when you two were still together. So it's still poignant. Avoid the urge though, I am just about beginning to get good at that. Still, on the whole, I got to realise Facebook as a good thing. I mean, I never used to pay much attention to it, but since she left, I have made a load of new friends, some younger than me (early twenties and me aged 30) and they LOVE Facebook. There is all tons of photos put on there from nights out etc and it makes me feel like part of a group. "Why?" indeed. Buddy, I am sorry you are going through this, but let's face it: you brought this particular pain upon yourself. I've been broken up with my ex GF now for over a year, but I'm not willing to indulge my curiosity about her by searching, checking, anything. I know that the pain is right around the corner, should I become overly ambitious with my curiosity. Get this: f*cking Facebook suggests your ex as your friend, effectively making it impossible to go completely NC. I NEVER looked for her, but there she was, smiling in a little picture. Ugh. Had to get my friend (who was luckily sitting next to me) to "x" that little box out. Don't search for her anymore, OK? Good luck. YES! Thank you. Have resisted checking quite well recently and do feel a lot better. I DID bring this upon myself, and I cant honestly say I wont again. She wont be suggested as a friend to me,a s we have no mutual friends. Thats a good thing, at least. You're so not alone on this. I just blocked the guy's profile, because I couldn't resist the urge to check up on him. Granted it's only been a week, but I'm going strong. If you're not FB friends with them and have no intention of ever contacting them again this is really the way to go. It's like they died. You'll never hear anything about them. Sorry you are going through this too. We CAN ignore them. Unfortuantely, although we have NO Facebook contact, she lives 2 minutes walk away from me. She walked past the window of a bar I was in on Tuesday night, I was watching footy. My heart missed a beat but she didnt see me. 3 beers later, I no longer cared. T
boogieboy Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Im lucky my ex doesnt post anything to her facebook. When i get a new gf, i will tell her that I DONT have a fb account so that i wont have to deal with that in the first place.
Recommended Posts