Peanut9330 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I recently got out of a 3 year relationship with a guy who cheated on me whom I took back and he cheated on me again. I decided the best way for me to heal is to go strict NC, I was very hurt not just because of the cheating but also because the relationship ended. It’s been 3 weeks since we talked, he called me on my work phone today. Told me he made a very big mistake but instead of telling me how sorry he is he’s going to show me and work his way back into my life, by showing me how much he loves me and how much I mean to him. I get home today and there is a package and in it 2 dozen red roses, a letter titled day 1 and a card. In the letter it said that everyday for 30 days he's going to find a new way to show me how much he loves me. He ended it with P.S. I love you which happens to be one of my favorite movies and he knows about it, so I wonder what's going to happen tomorrow. Now let me just make this point I didn’t do NC to get him back I did it for me to get over him and I did, and now he's trying to come back into my life when I'm finally over it. Just figured I could share my outcome of NC. P.S. I don’t want him back and I’m not going to take him back!
LisaUk Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Ohhh, good for you, but hey enjoy these 30 days! You deserve them! Do let us know what he does each day, I can live vicously (sp) through you!
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 Ohhh, good for you, but hey enjoy these 30 days! You deserve them! Do let us know what he does each day, I can live vicously (sp) through you! Ok, will do I'll keep posting here as each day goes by!
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 Day two ex shipped me a locket with our picture in it and engraved forever love on the back, and a letter that ended with P.S. I love you and on day three he made me a cd with love songs and wrote a note stating that each songs helps elaborate how much he loves me and he also included a letter that ended with P.S. I love you, I feel kind of guilty taking things from him and even though I explained my feelings to him about not wanting him back he told me to let him finish the 30 days and then if my answer is till no he will respect my wishes.
001bh Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 you know I think he thinks he can "buy love." and that's pretty weak.....
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Why are you excepting these when you don't want him back? I think you should tell him straight up that you're done, again, tell him you're going NC and to respect your wishes. Seriously, you can do SOO much better than a cheater
Soul Bear Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 If you continue to accept them, and you still say no at the end, you could break that guys heart....remember how that felt? Also...he is REFUSING to respect your wishes....he said so him self. Why does he send you things that cost money? Money's cheap when it comes to Love....
marmaliade Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I would say, let him work... After 30 days you can say that you didn't change your mind... If he broke your heart, I wouldn't let him get away so easily too. P.S. Maybe he thinks love is "buying stuff",but I myself would say he puts a lot of effort, like chosing songs and stuff So it's not all about money
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 17, 2009 Author Posted August 17, 2009 I told him that its not necessary to give me anything but he's insisting and saying that he just wants a chance to show me how much he loves me and at the end of the day if I still don’t want him back he'll know that he tired every possible things to get me back, he said if he doesn’t get the chance to try he'll regret it for the rest of his life. I have no intentions of breaking his heart I told him right off the bat that I cant be with him because he cheated on me and I wont be able to move on from that.
bimmyboy Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 He cheated on you twice. He lack either respect for you or strength in himself. Take the stuff. If he's a douchebag than just accept it as the universe balancing out. If he's actually decent and just deeply flawed and you get back together then you have the power. Determine whether he's trying to play you or just deeply disturbed. My exwife cheated on me twice. Not because she was malcious, she was just weak. Do you want someone like that in your life or can you do better?
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 18, 2009 Author Posted August 18, 2009 He cheated on you twice. He lack either respect for you or strength in himself. Take the stuff. If he's a douchebag than just accept it as the universe balancing out. If he's actually decent and just deeply flawed and you get back together then you have the power. Determine whether he's trying to play you or just deeply disturbed. My exwife cheated on me twice. Not because she was malcious, she was just weak. Do you want someone like that in your life or can you do better? That’s the thing I don’t want to be with him and I made it clear to him many times but he's still insisting and says he wont give up till I give him the chance and he doesn’t care if it doesn’t work he just wants to try. So for day 4 he wrote me 3 poems and with them included another letter and of course it ended with P.S. I Love You.
bimmyboy Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Then I would be very clear and very concise. ie "My mind is made up, nothing you can say or do will ever change that, I'm sorry but it's over" and best not to accept anything from him. Go total NC
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I really would 'return to sender'. It's important to get the message through to him somehow. if he fails to respond as you request, tell him that everything he sends is going to 1: a Charity shop 2: an homeless people's shelter 3: the local hospital geriatric ward (things like flowers and chocolates....) 4: the kids' ward (soft toys and fluffy bunnies......) 5: the nearest bin. (cards, messages love notes.) He decides. either send and be damned, or don't send and 'save your breath'.
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 I am disgusted by this whole situation and I will send everything back once he is done, and I’m doing NC but he still keeps texting me and sending stuff, and the last time we talked I told him I will not change my mind I told him that I can forgive him but I will never forget and therefore I can never be with him, all he said was lets just wait and see and that was the end didn’t talk to him since.
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Can you get some cream? he sounds like a bad case of hives, you can't get rid of......
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 Can you get some cream? he sounds like a bad case of hives, you can't get rid of...... Wishful Thinking
TaraMaiden Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 Tell him you had to go to the doctor's today with a really nasty, persistent rash that just won't go away... called *hisname*.... the doctor's given you some *Pi$$offnow* cream, which you hope will be effective. What does he think?
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 19, 2009 Author Posted August 19, 2009 I always figured that if my BF could show me that he really was sorry for what he did I would be able to be with him once more, but now that its actually happening I realize that its just not worth it…. In my situation the bad outweighs the good. Starting over would be just a road to disaster. I know that certain qualities about him he will never change, he will talk the talk for a while but once he gets me where he wants me its all going to change. I'm not saying that people don’t learn form their mistakes and are never able to change, its happens. In his case however I know he wont. I'm glad I was able to move on and learn from this relationship and NC really helped me to open my eyes and show me the kind of person he truly is.
TaraMaiden Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I'm in the same boat. He won't take no for an answer.....
AnswersPls Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 I am jealous.. lols. my ex.. is not even callin or contacting me. lols. .. really jealous.. what did u guys do. for the ex. to com back?.. Any tips?
AnswersPls Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Yes. Don't thread-jack. Start a new thread. Sorry, I do not mean to thread jack. sorry..
TaraMaiden Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 That's ok. But people won't devote the time you need, for replies, if you hide your post in someone else's thread. get the attention you need, and the replies you want, in a thread made just for you. It's better for you that way! Doncha think? peanut, how's things going now? What else has he delivered? The final gift might be himself in a huge box - have you thought about that?
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 That's ok. But people won't devote the time you need, for replies, if you hide your post in someone else's thread. get the attention you need, and the replies you want, in a thread made just for you. It's better for you that way! Doncha think? peanut, how's things going now? What else has he delivered? The final gift might be himself in a huge box - have you thought about that? :lmao: I hope it wont be him in a box how am I suppose to send him back lol ok well if the final gift is a huge box I just wont open it lol I'll leave it by my front door, and the gifts he sent me are a book on forgiveness lol that one made me laugh then a promise ring which it really looks more like an engagement ring but he said in the letter its a promise ring so whatever and in it he engraved forever yours. Oh boy this is driving me nuts and he also included another cd with love songs a poem and he famous letters which like always ended with P.S. I Love You!!
Author Peanut9330 Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I am jealous.. lols. my ex.. is not even callin or contacting me. lols. .. really jealous.. what did u guys do. for the ex. to com back?.. Any tips? The only thing I did was No Contact none what so ever after about 3 weeks he came running back and trust me the glory of it is not as great as you think it would be. Makes me sick lol
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