Wish I'd have been horrible back

[john1988]

When I split up with my ex she said some horrible things but I always tried to remain grown up and civilized. Looking back I really wish I'd snapped and let her have it. Now I get visions of her walking around thinking shes Miss High and Mighty after putting me down so much, some of the things she said were just plain evil and I felt that I didn't deserve them. I think maybe I wouldn't be so bitter now if I'd have lashed out at the time and got it out my system? My question is did I really do the right thing and do you think she feels embarrassed for how she went about things as she has never properly apologised?

[JL911]

Sometimes maturity has alot to do with what some dumb little b!tch has to say about you. You did the right thing being the bigger person...She will reflect on how she was one day...Hopefully you will be in a much better place and able to just not care.

 

My ex wrote me a 4 page single spaced letter about all my small faults. From how i dont like a certain kind of music, to how I am sloppy at times, brought my parents up....Seriously F-That! Its not who I am...Its just an excuse...Its just a bunch of BS they came up with in order to break up with you.

 

Dont be sad, GET MAD! GET REALLY REALLY MAD and get over the drama and bull****. Sometimes you just dont think you know someone as well as you do...Thats what I am finding out...It sucks, IT ReALLY F'n HURTS, BUT ITS SUCH BULL**** to do that to another person who you say you at one point cared so much for...

[john1988]

Sometimes maturity has alot to do with what some dumb little b!tch has to say about you. You did the right thing being the bigger person...She will reflect on how she was one day...Hopefully you will be in a much better place and able to just not care.

 

My ex wrote me a 4 page single spaced letter about all my small faults. From how i dont like a certain kind of music, to how I am sloppy at times, brought my parents up....Seriously F-That! Its not who I am...Its just an excuse...Its just a bunch of BS they came up with in order to break up with you.

 

Dont be sad, GET MAD! GET REALLY REALLY MAD and get over the drama and bull****. Sometimes you just dont think you know someone as well as you do...Thats what I am finding out...It sucks, IT ReALLY F'n HURTS, BUT ITS SUCH BULL**** to do that to another person who you say you at one point cared so much for...

 

I feel you and if I truly did sink to her level I'd probably feel worse than I do just now, just feels like I'm bottling things up, just tired of NC I want answers that I will never get, all I want is an adult conversation to tell me why?

[deux ex machina]

When I split up with my ex she said some horrible things but I always tried to remain grown up and civilized. Looking back I really wish I'd snapped and let her have it. Now I get visions of her walking around thinking shes Miss High and Mighty after putting me down so much, some of the things she said were just plain evil and I felt that I didn't deserve them.

 

I had someone do the same thing to me once.

The things this person said to me were cruel and...gratuitous.

 

Gratuitous. Was it really truthful, necessary? No.

 

You wouldn't believe the things he said. Lol. Displaced rage much?

 

Pfft. Whatever.

 

Gratuitous, uncalled for. Annoying.

 

Kind of like an irritating little fly to swat away - it needn't be more significant than that to you.

 

That is all the attention that hatefulness gets from me. I was blown away by the things he said, and magnified them in my mind. Until I labeled it for what it was and walked it off, minimized it in my mind.

 

Seriously. She can own it.

 

I think maybe I wouldn't be so bitter now if I'd have lashed out at the time and got it out my system?

 

No. You probably wouldn't have felt better. I wondered the same thing after his annoying little temper tantrum - but haha, I was in such shock - it was a blessing, because I didn't say anything back.

 

It was a blessing, because I'm pretty sure he was trying to provoke me. To justify his @ssholitude. Well, I messed up his plan.

 

Bet it pissed him off even more! Good.

 

I'm thinking the same thing went down with you.

 

I understand now how I must've come off now, in his eyes at the time. Bullet-proof.

 

 

So, don't worry about it, you actually did the right thing, because I am willing to bet it put a nice little dent in the bitch's plan and even better - your self-control in the situation probably got her really upset. Well, boo-frickin'-hoo. Heh.

 

 

My question is did I really do the right thing and do you think she feels embarrassed for how she went about things as she has never properly apologised?

 

You did exactly the right thing.

 

She's probably not embarrassed. But she should be. And...isn't the most embarrassing thing of all?

 

 

Well played.

[john1988]

I had someone do the same thing to me once.

The things this person said to me were cruel and...gratuitous.

 

Gratuitous. Was it really truthful, necessary? No.

 

You wouldn't believe the things he said. Lol. Displaced rage much?

 

Pfft. Whatever.

 

Gratuitous, uncalled for. Annoying.

 

Kind of like an irritating little fly to swat away - it needn't be more significant than that to you.

 

That is all the attention that hatefulness gets from me. I was blown away by the things he said, and magnified them in my mind. Until I labeled it for what it was and walked it off, minimized it in my mind.

 

Seriously. She can own it.

 

 

 

No. You probably wouldn't have felt better. I wondered the same thing after his annoying little temper tantrum - but haha, I was in such shock - it was a blessing, because I didn't say anything back.

 

It was a blessing, because I'm pretty sure he was trying to provoke me. To justify his @ssholitude. Well, I messed up his plan.

 

Bet it pissed him off even more! Good.

 

I'm thinking the same thing went down with you.

 

I understand now how I must've come off now, in his eyes at the time. Bullet-proof.

 

 

So, don't worry about it, you actually did the right thing, because I am willing to bet it put a nice little dent in the bitch's plan and even better - your self-control in the situation probably got her really upset. Well, boo-frickin'-hoo. Heh.

 

 

 

 

You did exactly the right thing.

 

She's probably not embarrassed. But she should be. And...isn't the most embarrassing thing of all?

 

 

Well played.

 

I really appreciate that post it was just the tonic I needed thank you. I hate her for the way I look at myself now, family etc, I used to be a self assured, fairly confident person now I'm the opposite. Sometimes I think I want to tell her my pain but I don't want her to have the satisfaction. It's difficult because I find it difficult trusting anyone in relationships and I don't want to hurt someone in a rebound relationship either I feel like I'm going round in circles.