elin Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Hi, I'm confused with a situation -- hope some men and women can help me with some insights? It seems that guys and gals think differently, so... There's this guy at work who's nice to me, but he's generally friendly to most everybody. However, I can't help wondering...?? Because when we talk our knees sometimes touch (I think he's the one who moves close enough to do that) and he doesn't move away until I do. He teases me sometimes and he smiles at me quite a lot. Sometimes he would pull my hair to tease me. He doesn't call me or e-mail, but at work we talk about this or that often. Once, when I related something to him though, he said, "I hear you sis". Does this mean that he's interested or he's telling me he treats me like a --bleah -- sister? There seems to be mixed signals, you think? Thanks for any insights and comments.
GorillaTheater Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 My best guess? He's interested but hesitant to start up something with someone he works with. And that's a very valid concern, I'd be pretty wary of that as well. I don't know whether he'll take the playful flirting any further, like asking you out (and if he doesn't that may be all you need to know) but if you don't mind taking a small chance, you might want to consider asking him out to lunch or something similarly and relatively low risk.
Trialbyfire Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Does he have a significant other, such as g/f, fiancee or wife?
alphamale Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Does he have a significant other, such as g/f, fiancee or wife? maybe he's gay??
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 If he's interested, he would ask for alternative ways to contact you outside of work. I would think he's merely being friendly with coworkers.
Author elin Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Thanks for all your replies! @alphamale - LOL I don't think he's gay (see my further reply below). @xpaperxcutx - That's what I figured too (but see my further reply below, which would be a reason we don't contact each other outside of work), but sometimes it seems more than friendly. Or perhaps I'm being overly sensitive. @GorillaTheater and @Trialbyfire - He has a g/f and I have a b/f, both are outside of work. That's partly why I don't know if he feels we're both "on safe ground", so he can be as nice to me as he wants without fear of misunderstanding? Or is he just comfortable with me, or is it because I'm generally friendly too? Or are the things he does signs that he wants to explore further? If there is something there, should we talk about it? I don't want to misinterpret because it'd be really awkward. That's why I would like some insights because sometimes I'd feel he's just being friendly, and other times, I feel there's something more (for example, sometimes he doesn't just look at me when we talk, he would look at my hair, then return to my eyes, or is this how some guys talk to women?). And because guys and gals think and behave differently, I really don't know what to think. Thanks again for helping me sort it out.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 elin, since you're both previously committed, why not stop worrying about how he feels and worry more about the job and keeping it friendly and professional. If he exceeds the line of good taste within the elements of professionalism, push him back with some well placed remarks about maintaining reasonable boundaries.
Author elin Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 It's sensible what you say, Trialbyfire, and it's probably the best way to go about it. But I'm a little conflicted, because I like the guy, and I wonder if he likes me too -- I guess this is human, wondering what if? And I'm not sure how to stop this wondering..?
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