goatboytone Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Hey. I've been with my girlfriend for a year now, just recently she told me that she wanted to spend some time apart, because she fel like she was loosing herself in the relationship. She had just come out of a messy 9year realtionship when we got togeher. At first I was really cut up and thought she just plain wanted to leave me, but she reassured me that she still really loved me, thought I was a great guy and marraige material. She just needed more time to herself, to reconnect with friends and just have 'me time' as she's been suffering with depression. Fair enough I thought, because we had been pretty intense and it was getting to the point where all we had was each othe and that's not good. My problem at the minute is that we now see each other 3-4 times a week as opposed to every day. This is ok, btu a lot of the time we are together she still seems depressed and whereas before she was very highly sexed she now seems more reluctant for me to touch her she will be all over one minute and then pushing me away the next. She is very up and down and this is makinh me a bit insecure and unsure of how I should act around her. She is an amazing woman and I love her very much. She tells me that this depression is not to do with me and she always wants me in her life. I really want to help her get back to the healthy vivacious woman she was, I realise all relationships have to change and that the 'honeymoon period' may be over. I just don't want to do anything that may push her away from me at this delicate time any advice would reaaly be appreciated. I'm going round to see her tonight. Help! I really don't want to lose this lovely woman. Thank you.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Spending too much with any one person is suffocating, so it's understandable she pushes you away. Usually people who go on a break wants to see what else is out there without the need for a messy breakup. It's unfair to the other person, but if you really want to make things right, you have to accept her decision and be prepared that she might break up with you. Have you lost your sense of self this paste year? I sense that you're more clingy than your gf so it might be a reason for why she pushes you away. Don't chase her or make her change her mind. LEt her come to her senses on her own. In the meantime, tell her you're fine with a break and hang out more with your guy friends. Avoid too much contact and give her time to miss. The above approaches seem very sly but they're usefulin at least helping you cope while on the break. It's not manipulative if you don't seek out to do any of these things to hurt her. Remember, a break ( even if you don't want one) can be beneficial at times. You should seek a newer perspective on things, and worry about yourself for a change.
Author goatboytone Posted August 15, 2009 Author Posted August 15, 2009 Thanks xpaperxcutx, the thing is though, I have been giving her space but when I do she always calls or texts me to see if i want to come round, which of course I do. She says she only wants to spend a few days a week doing her own thng not a long one off period apart. Which I can totally see the sense in. But it is starting to seem like she's losing attraction for me. I really don't want this to be over. I love her.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Thanks xpaperxcutx, the thing is though, I have been giving her space but when I do she always calls or texts me to see if i want to come round, which of course I do. She says she only wants to spend a few days a week doing her own thng not a long one off period apart. Which I can totally see the sense in. But it is starting to seem like she's losing attraction for me. I really don't want this to be over. I love her. May I ask how old you are? I understand perfectly that it's easy to give in your SO when they call, but it's also okay to say no once in a while, especially given your position that she was the one asking for a break. Would it be better if you only see her on the weekends? It seems she also only calls you when she has nothing better to do. Avoid her for most of the days during the week, and when she calls talk with her but don't run off to see her if she asks you to. Give her time to miss you, so that when you do see her and take out, she will at least appreciate you more.
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