JL911 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I slept terrible last night....Whats the use anymore...All I do is dream, think, and miss this girl...I really have no idea why this had to happen...I feel so lost, but am trying to be strong...The void in my life is just terrible.. I dont want this....
hopesndreams Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I just read your back story and you are doing the right thing. Keep at it, don't falter and in time she might come to her senses and if not, you are doing all the right things in breaking free from her. You're not alone. It hurts like h*ll. Just continue grieving what you have lost and in time, the grief will subside. Treat yourself well during this time. Have you been doing much boating?
Author JL911 Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 I am going fishing this weekend....worst part is on the way up I have to drive past where we went to college and where I end up i am only about 35min away from where she lives.... It's just terrible...I cried the entire way to work this morning...I keep asking God for strength or to help her find her way back to me...I dont think hes listening...... I have never in my life gone through anything even close to this...
hopesndreams Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 God is listening, believe it, He just may have other things planned for you. Perhaps seeing your family doctor, get a prescription for something, something mild, just to take the edge off a bit. How have you been sleeping? If you haven't been, the best stuff I can recommend is Melatonin, you can get that over the counter. Do you have someone to talk to about this? If not, keep posting, reading about others, helping them because helping them--helps you. Hope the weekend fishing does you some good. Very important during this time to do the things you want to do, because you is all that matters right now.
Author JL911 Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 I have a lot of people I have been talking to about this, I keep getting mixed reviews. Some people look at the situation and say yea you did do some wrong here neglecting her over the boat...But then I dont understand why she didnt voice any displeasure to me on the whole situation...Maybe it was because I was so happy about what was going on... Other people think she just went a little wacky and got scared that maybe I was the only one she will ever know and never truly know if there was anything better... My girl buds tell me what a sweet, funny, attractive guy I am and think she is crazy and will come running back....Id like to believe that, but I dont really know what to do...Im trying to just let her figure it out. My therapist keeps giving me the same advice all of you are giving...Stay busy, worry about yourself, and push through this...I am not on any medication for sleep or depression, but I do not think I would object if someone requested that I take it to benefit myself and get through this. Last night I was exhausted. I fell asleep at 1030...dreamed of her and woke up at 12...fell asleep again, dream again...woke up at 3...laid there in deep thought and prayer till 4 then sleep, dream again woke up at 7 and stayed awake...It hasnt been easy getting sleep... I know I keep saying about praying and trying to talk to God. I am not very religious, but I am trying to find some faith somewhere...
James198 Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 I'm right there with you buddy. I haven't slept through the whole night in a couple weeks. I wake up with a horrible emptiness in my stomach and can't go 5 minutes without thinking of her. The more I think though, the more I wonder how much worse I am making it on myself. What I mean is when we were with our "girls" we obviously didn't cherish them as much as we do now that we don't have them. So my question is "Do we all of a sudden love these girls more than we did when we were with them?" or is it we want what we can't have...kind of a pride thing. The more I think about it I start to lean towards the pride thing. Don't get me wrong, I love her with all my heart and want her back, but I'm stupid to think I all of a sudden love this girl painfully more all of a sudden. Think about it...if nothing else it'll get your mind of how much this sucks right now.
Danielle46 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 I really feel for you. I have read through your older post and this one and I see quite a few similarities between your emotions and my own. I am having a very hard time dealing with my own situation. I too have asked God to give me strength and to let this whole "experience" be something that is going to improve our relationship in the long run. I dont think its true that if someone is in love with you that they wont hurt you. It's human nature to hurt and to be hurt...and you can assume that just because they are in love with you, head over heels, that they wont ever hurt you. That's being ignorant. I also dream of my (ex) boyfriend -I dont like saying that- and it kills me. It's like all I want to do is sleep...that way I dream of good times with him and I dont have to face the reality of life right now. I wish I could just fast forward to the day that I'm completely happy again (and thats sad b/c life is too short to wish for such a thing). I think in both of our situations, they are going to realize that the grass is not any greener on the other side of the fence. They are both giving up someone who loved, supported, adored them. They are both going to hit a wall of realization where they look back at this mistake and see that they have possibly ruined the best thing to ever happen to them. The love you have with her is irreplaceable...as it is with any real relationship like so. It is true that if they are doing this to us that there is someone out there who wont...but I cant even imagine myself with someone else right now. I do have a fear though that if I just pack up my life and move on that he will come back at the least opportune moment...Do you share this feeling? It's almost like I don't ever want to move on because I love how much I love him. Life is terrible for me right now too. I am trying to just occupy myself with things to do and think of this as being "officially over"...which you should do too... this way we can avoid being hurt double time. Reason: If it is officially over, at least you havent clung onto the never ending hope of reconciliation. If it isn't over, then you have gained strength that will benefit both of you in your relationship. Chances are they are both feeling weak right now just like you and I...and we have to be the ones to find the strength for the both of us. I feel like we coudl really understand each other because we're both in the same emotional "boat" right now. People make mistakes, so don't blame yourself for everything that went wrong in your relationship...it takes two to tango. Both have to work on becoming a better person, not just you and not just your significant other. I hope you are doing better since posting this....how have you been handling everything?
Danielle46 Posted August 16, 2009 Posted August 16, 2009 "I know I keep saying about praying and trying to talk to God. I am not very religious, but I am trying to find some faith somewhere..." I am doing the same thing...=/. Life really sucks right now...It's like Im so lost in figuring out what to do that I go to Him. I beg him to let everything work out...I've even gotten mad trying to see the reason for going through what I am. ...there has to be SOME reason why we're enduring all this pain...it's just waiting for the answer that is so damn hard...
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