dunstable Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 If a nasty drunk calls my GF a whore....He will be tipped off his stool;) That's all very well -- tipping him off his stool is barely violence -- but what if he (or his friends) is big enough to pound you into the ground immediately afterward? Would you still think getting physical (escalating the situation) the right thing to do rather than walking away from the situation? Physical violence is another matter. But getting physical with people who are just verbal -- that never makes sense and is never legal.
D-Lish Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 That's all very well -- tipping him off his stool is barely violence -- but what if he (or his friends) is big enough to pound you into the ground immediately afterward? Would you still think getting physical (escalating the situation) the right thing to do rather than walking away from the situation? Physical violence is another matter. But getting physical with people who are just verbal -- that never makes sense and is never legal. The law of Tequila says YES.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 No, it's about men that may run and hide if in a confrontation instead of defending his woman. Not about woman wanting a man that gets in fights all the time.This is exactly it!! Good to see a guy who gets it. It's just comforting to be with someone who has that protective side.Yes, someone you can rely on when things get tough. heh-heh- Come on pretty girl, look at your avatar!Look who's talking, pretty lady!
dunstable Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 The law of Tequila says YES. Is that the law that matters most?
D-Lish Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Look who's talking, pretty lady! Come on- look at your avie TBF. I'm totally Gay for a Day.
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Come on- look at your avie TBF. I'm totally Gay for a Day. You're killing me but thanks! It's not the normal side I show LS.
D-Lish Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 You're killing me but thanks! It's not the normal side I show LS. Shut up, you know you're gorgeous! I'm always bi after midnight!
dunstable Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 If they are obviously way bigger than me then I would exercise option 2.....and that is... Find his truck and pee on it. At last, we are agreed on something!
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Shut up, you know you're gorgeous! I'm always bi after midnight! I'm neither bi or gay, but if I were, I'd do you!
Chicago_Guy Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 That's all very well -- tipping him off his stool is barely violence -- but what if he (or his friends) is big enough to pound you into the ground immediately afterward? Would you still think getting physical (escalating the situation) the right thing to do rather than walking away from the situation? Physical violence is another matter. But getting physical with people who are just verbal -- that never makes sense and is never legal. I agree. Throwing punches at a guy who is at a bar or whenever with a big group of friends is a very stupid thing to do if you are just there with your girlfriend. It's one thing to get up in the guy's face, but to hit him when you're greatly outnumbered would not be a wise decision.
Trimmer Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I admire a man for both. Your average man who's the identical weight and size of your average woman, will be stronger, within a reasonable age category. So as long as I can beat up a woman my size in a bar fight, I'm doin' OK?
Trialbyfire Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 So as long as I can beat up a woman my size in a bar fight, I'm doin' OK?If she's the one threatening your woman, yes, you're good to go!
39388 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 No don't be bitter, academic types are much preferable. I think the answers here may be biased as it's the dating part of the site and quite a few of us married peeps tend to stick to the other parts of the forum most of the time. I married the academic type for the exact reasons that they make good long term partners and I have been proven right since it has lasted 14 years and still going strong, don't worry. The stronger the protector the higher the propensity to cheat. You are at more of an advantage now since most women of your age have learned this to be the case. I quickly worked out it was better to steer clear of the over-testosteroned alpha's for a more realistic long term partner. All the other women that I know who have married one have come unstuck. I'm glad there are a few women like you out there. I wish there were more, especially among those looking for a husband. Dating is a numbers game though and most women want a certain amount of phyical strength, which I just don't have. The average male is about 2x my strength, which given most other responses in this thread I don't have a chance with most women. I just went to the gym. It's clearly something I will need to do for a loooooong time, just to be average, let alone muscular. I feel the best way to stand up for a woman is to live in a safe neighborhood and avoid dangerous areas. I'm confident I can provide a nice home in a nice neighborhood for a woman if that's what's important to her. Right now, I'd get crushed in a physical fight against most men, so hopefully I can avoid them.
clv0116 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I find it humorous and telling that no one wishes to acknowledge the likely outcomes of wantonly escalating volatile situations. Instead we like to create fantasy scenarios and then dream up fantasy solutions with fantasy outcomes.
New Again Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 I had an angry drunk/violent, abusive bf once. Another bf who was never violent toward me, but got in a lot of fights. I HATE violence, especially when drinking is involved. If my guy tried to defend me from a guy in a bar by picking a fight, or getting in his face, I would be so uncomfortable and turned off. Avoiding or diffusing those situations is much sexier, and much more appreciated.
sumdude Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 All depends on the situation.. Example: I'm out at a club with a group of friends, another friend is playing in the band. At the end of the night some drunk bozo is insulting of one of the girls in our group and won't leave her alone. I could see he was solo and just a stupid waste case. I look him in the eye and say "Isn't it time for you to go home?" He leaves right away. The girl ends up with huge a crush on me I didn't know about. Too bad I wasn't attracted to her.
FleshNBones Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Glad you admire a man for his spirit as well as his physique, because your man, despite all his virtues, won't always be physically adequate to protect you in an ugly situation. But I don't like the way this thread is focusing on the man protecting the woman. What if your man were outnumbered, outgunned, by attackers - what would you do? Would you say "I'm a weak women" and stand and watch, or run away? Or would you say that you will pitch in and defend him, however little use it may be? This is the 21st century not the stone age!I agree, too many women are willing to play the damsel in distress. Good Lord, more role playing.
clv0116 Posted August 17, 2009 Posted August 17, 2009 Friday night some co-workers and I were out for drinks. Three of us (including a very young intern on his way to law school) were at a bar where we encountered a militant drunk who wanted to kick said intern's butt. .... Personally, THAT is how I would prefer to see a guy handle a situation. Not like some kind of ham fisted jerk on a testosterone overload. I was the designated driver for a group of workers who ended up hitting a few bars and strip clubs as a celebration one night. One of the foreign sales reps got into an argument with a bouncer and came over wanting to "borrow my gun" for a moment. This is why picking a fight is a bad idea. A 40 S&W is hard to box your way out of, ya see?
Trojan John Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 My wife can handle herself in a fight. Some drunk guy in a bar kissed her on the neck whilst she waited at the coat check. I had to get between them because she had him against a wall, choking him with both hands. A good laugh for the bouncers. She punches like hell, too.
collegekid491 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Ya no doubt, I went to pick my sister up from her self defense class... Just in time to walk in on the lead girl saying "be prepared to use your keys, commit to it, if a guy touches you without your permission put your key through his eye!". Needless to say I don't look at keys the same anymore...
Trimmer Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 I find it humorous and telling that no one wishes to acknowledge the likely outcomes of wantonly escalating volatile situations. Instead we like to create fantasy scenarios and then dream up fantasy solutions with fantasy outcomes. Oh, I completely acknowledge it... That's my whole point: getting physical is a defensive, last resort when violence is coming your way. I would take virtually ANY other way out of it, and - important point here - I consider the group I'm in (whether family or friends) as a unit - nobody left behind... And my point is, I'd even suffer embarassment, or someone feeling like I'm not chivalrous or calling me schoolyard names (pussy, wuss) to avoid that physical confrontation, for the exact reasons you are talking about. If a woman is not intelligent enough to see the big picture there, and the fact that that is a considered approach to maximizing the survival of myself and those I care about, then she doesn't deserve me, and I don't want her...
clv0116 Posted August 18, 2009 Posted August 18, 2009 Oh, I completely acknowledge it... And my point is, I'd even suffer embarassment, or someone feeling like I'm not chivalrous or calling me schoolyard names (pussy, wuss) to avoid that physical confrontation, for the exact reasons you are talking about. If a woman is not intelligent enough to see the big picture there, ... I don't want her... We're a clear minority I think.
fatamus Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Any guy I'm with knows that I can well and good protect myself so I don't ever expect a guy to defend me. Fight by my side, yes. Protect and defend? Not necessary. If he runs away like a coward, then it would be over. Period. Here is the truth on this subject, all women want a guy who can and would protect them and make them feel safe. Some won’t admit to it or won’t know until something bad happens.
fatamus Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 Watch out for the overconfident guy that reckons he can defend himself in any situation - he's the one that will most likely get himself shot/stabbed. It's a bit like expecting a guy to stand in your way if you're about to get knocked down by a bus. some would. plus whats wrong with getting shot and stabbed if your laughing about the whole thing? scars make great stories. i liked this reply out of this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=194718 "I don't remember where I heard it, but I recall hearing that a man in a relationship should be four things: Leader Teacher Provider Protector I've always liked that." Most cant lead, most cant teach, some can protect, most can provide.
fatamus Posted September 30, 2009 Posted September 30, 2009 So anyway, unless we're talking about the other extreme - a complete coward that would back off from any confrontation), or a disabled guy, most guys will take the approrpiate steps in a dangerous situation. Fighting off one attacker - approrpiate. Trying to fight off a guy with a gun - inapprorpiate. Fighting off an attacker with a knife? Depends. Whiping your own knife and 'duelling' - stupid. Grabbing a chair or an umbrella - appropriate. Fighting off multiple attackers - inappropriate (and imposible; running away and brinding in help would be more approrpiate). Etc. Basically the only time the "fighting spirit" really comes into play is when the opponents (and the weapons) are identical. But that's a stupid way to fight. The key to any fight is to come up with a leverage - better skills, better strenght, better weapon - whatever, as long as it overwhelms the opponent. Conversely, if your opponent has bigger guns or resources than you you should back off for your and your loved ones' sake and seek alternatives. Hence the stupidity of fighting for the sake of it, and unfortunately too many movies promote this unrealistic spectacle. how many fights have you been in? Trying to fight off a guy with a gun - inapprorpiate. not unless you got a gun too and you know he cant shoot for sh%t Fighting off an attacker with a knife? Depends. Whiping your own knife and 'duelling' - stupid. Ive seen some good knife fights and it might be stupid but you got a good shot with your own knife Fighting off multiple attackers - inappropriate (and imposible; running away and brinding in help would be more approrpiate) impossible huh? i know this one guy who knocked 3 guys out in a row in a bar fight in some ****ty Ohio city. seen it with my own eyes. the same guy got surrounded by 3 dudes another time and after knocking the first one out the other 2 backed off real fast. your post relates to your average joe dork working some 9-5 office job who doesn't know a jab from a cross... some dudes can scrap tho!
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