ExiledLyCan Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 My girlfriend has a few guy friends. One of which I guess shes pretty close to and possibly liked in the pass. She gave me the password to one of her personal accounts and told me that "your the only that knows my password" however I found out that he knows it too. She also talks to him on aim when we webcam and stuff and when I ask what shes doing she just replies "oh nothing just talking to my friend" and wont state his name even though im 100% sure. Basically anything that involves him she would use "my friend" instead of using his name. The guy does have a girlfriend however and his girlfriend dislikes my girlfriend and her boyfriend talking to eachother as well, which i heard from my girlfriend. Yet they still talk alot and it bothers me alot. I know im just feeling insecure and a bit jealous but I can't help it. I just want to know, do I have the right to be feeling jealous and be able to set some boundaries? I'm not saying they cant talk at all, just not as much and especially when we are talking etc. Or is this something im just going to have to suck up and live with it... Any advice on how to apporach this? Thanks in advance
carhill Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Sure. You and your GF and he and his GF need to go out together or have dinner at each other's homes. Pot luck. BBQ. Ribs are nice. I'll be happy to join you Seriously, this won't get better unless you (and his GF) are comfortable with their friendship. If there's nothing to hide, then don't. I've already got BBQ plans for Saturday. Tri-tip and prawns. So, you go ahead without me
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 It sounds like an emotional affair. and as long as she continues to cross boundries with this man, your relationship. that sense of trust you guys have will be strained. I can see it happening now. Your damned if you do, damned if you dont. Just ask her if you can talk to his girlfriend on a email line but she wont know the password. Let's see what her face looks like.
New Again Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 My girlfriend has a few guy friends. One of which I guess shes pretty close to and possibly liked in the pass. She gave me the password to one of her personal accounts and told me that "your the only that knows my password" however I found out that he knows it too. She also talks to him on aim when we webcam and stuff and when I ask what shes doing she just replies "oh nothing just talking to my friend" and wont state his name even though im 100% sure. Basically anything that involves him she would use "my friend" instead of using his name. The guy does have a girlfriend however and his girlfriend dislikes my girlfriend and her boyfriend talking to eachother as well, which i heard from my girlfriend. Yet they still talk alot and it bothers me alot. I know im just feeling insecure and a bit jealous but I can't help it. I just want to know, do I have the right to be feeling jealous and be able to set some boundaries? I'm not saying they cant talk at all, just not as much and especially when we are talking etc. Or is this something im just going to have to suck up and live with it... Any advice on how to apporach this? Thanks in advance "Jealousy is a wasted emotion. I say this because jealousy is based on a lie. In order to feel jealous, we must believe that something that someone is, or has, makes them a happier person than we are. We must also believe that having that thing will make us happy." Just something to think about. Has your gf ever given you a reason to feel insecure about her friendship with another guy? Have you tried talking to her about it? If so, what was her response? I think it's reasonable to tell your gf that you'd like her undivided attention when you're chatting via webcam, but not so much asking her to otherwise limit her contact with her friend. For one thing, that statement is so general - it can't be quantified. So even if she did talk to him less, I feel like you still wouldn't like it; you'd fight because she said she'd talk to him less and you don't perceive that she is, even though she perceives she's talking to him less...
dreamergrl Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I'd be bothered as well. But I'd talk to her about it and try to resolve it. And a bbq sounds like a damn good idea.
boldjack Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 NA, you are a very good poster. OP, if your GF has never given you reason to feel insecure, then her friends are her business, just as your friends are yours. Yes, she could be more polite about the timing of these calls, but that would be all I would be upset about. You are an adult, you need to make a decision as to whether you can trust her. If not , leave before you get further involved.
Thaddeus Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 My first instinct was to suggest that it's perfectly OK if she have guy friends, just like it's perfectly OK if you have women friends. Until I re-read this:She gave me the password to one of her personal accounts and told me that "your the only that knows my password" however I found out that he knows it too.In short, she lied to him. What else is she lying about? Tread carefully, ExiledLyCan. I think you're in danger of either being cheated on or being the back-up guy.
New Again Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Thanks boldjack! OP, how did you find out your gf's friend had her password, and did you confront her about it?
Green Posted August 15, 2009 Posted August 15, 2009 Its all about boundaries. If she talks to this guy on the internet its one thing... and if she knows it bothers u then she shouldn't be smiling and chating with him while u 2 are on video chat. second off I don't think she should do anything alone with him
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