AnswersPls Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Hi All, Not sure if you guys have heard of my story.. But .. I was in a 4 yrs r/s and we broke up on JUN 15... Since then, he only called me once asking me about his passport. Thats it! Anyway, I called him last week tuesday and chatted for 45 mins.. expressing how much i still miss him. but he was telling me to move on and not think too much.. I really feel like calling him today. super super feel like calling him today. I just wanted to call him to ask him out for a quick meal.. I really miss him badly.. Shall I call him , pls help.. I still wan to salvage the relationship.. Pls help and advise. Thanks.
fofiffs Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Stick to NC, If he really did care he would have contacted you. You'll only be hurting yourself. I use to contact my ex all the time but never got anything out of it. Trust me its better to sticking to NC than contacting him and not getting anything out of it. It'll get better in time. I was in your shoes 5 months ago but I've strictly to the no contact rule and I feel better than what I did months ago.
Ronni_W Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 last week tuesday and chatted for 45 mins.. expressing how much i still miss him. but he was telling me to move on I know it's very difficult to hear, but he told you last week tuesday that he is NOT interested. The more you speak with him, the more frequent and intense will be your desire to speak with him...and that is not in YOUR best interest. He pro'ly stayed on the phone for 45 minutes trying to "be nice", but if you persist you don't leave too many options but for him to get "ugly" with you -- and you'll end up feeling even worse, and having to start accepting the break-up all over again. I would encourage you to follow fofiffs suggestion and just go (and stay) strict no contact. Hugs. It does suck.
broken_promises Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I would REALLY recommend the book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." It helped me SO much to keep my dignity and realize that me calling or pleading would just make me look that much more pathetic to my ex. I never thought NC could help so much, but I really am moving on SO much quicker in this breakup than I have in other past breakups. Don't call. His actions and words speak volumes about the fact that he is finished. You need to accept it and begin to preserve yourself. I'm serious, that book saved my life!
fofiffs Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Also to add, It will suck the first few days, weeks, maybe months. But during that time you will learn to live without him. And when that time comes, you'll look back at the situation and just laugh. Trust me and all the advices you get on LS. I know exactly how you feel.
Author AnswersPls Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 hey guys. i have read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." .. guess u guys are right!. Thanks for the advise.. I just needed the support and the strength not to call him. .. U r rite if he loved me. he would call me..but he is not.. . Crap i feel like Sh*t now.
trueblue72ny Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 hey guys. i have read "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken." .. guess u guys are right!. Thanks for the advise.. I just needed the support and the strength not to call him. .. U r rite if he loved me. he would call me..but he is not.. . Crap i feel like Sh*t now. you are not alone in the feeling like **** catagory. im right next to you. i feel like **** the majority of my day everyday because mine took off too. but i know i would feel worse if i contacted her first.
Quest Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Contact is unsettling. You'll only feel worse after talking to your ex. Keep busy and see people who make you feel good about yourself. It's difficult but it will gradually get easier and eventually you'll get over him. Sounds simple and of course it isn't ... but it's true!
Meaplus3 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 NO! Stick with the NC plan and the road to healing with be much easier. Accept for whatever reason the R did not work out and move on. Easier said than done?? yes. but, you can do it. You just need to stay strong and not give in. Best wishes. Mea:)
Author AnswersPls Posted August 16, 2009 Author Posted August 16, 2009 Thanks all for the advices! And yes!! I made it!! I did not call him at all. without ur advices. I wuld have.. I am so glad I did not.. well. i am just going to continue on with NC.. Its tough,. But whoever is going thru the same situation as me! Lets be STRONG>. we can MAKE it!
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