SanFranGuy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I have been dating this unbelievable guy for about two months now...Every time we are together we have an amazing time, whether it be going out and doing things or just staying in for a relaxing evening...we just enjoy each others company to the fullest. He makes me feel like no other guy ever has. He gives me butterflies every time I think about him...he makes me feel special in ways I never have before. I am falling in love with him, fast. And I know the feelings are mutual. Here come's the BUT. He is a workaholic to the max. He works ALL the time, sometimes until 10 or 11 o'clock at night and almost all weekends. Since we have started dating I have seen him at least once a week, MAYBE twice if I am lucky. He does call me every night, which is great, but we live in the same city. We should be seeing each other more than once a week. I keep telling myself that he is worth it, he is worth it. But now I am not so sure. As much as I LOVE how I feel when I am with him, the way I feel when I am not is borderline unbearable sometimes. I mean granted, as we have spent more time together, it has become a bit easier to be apart from him. But still, I just can't get enough of him. I don't know if this is something I should talk about with him, or if I should just give it some more time and see how I feel? We have kind of talked about it already, but I have told him that the more time we spend together the easier it gets to be apart (which is true), and he is happy about that, but I don't want to tell him exactly how i feel because the last thing i want to do is scare him away. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks everyone.
norajane Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Two months isn't all that long, so yeah, don't lay your heart out on your sleeve right away. If I were you, I'd keep inviting him to fun, interesting things to do. He may say no because he has to work, but as your relationship develops and matures, he'll start making more time for you. If he doesn't, then you know what you're dealing with and will have to decide if that's enough for you or not. The answer may be "not". At which point, you have to tell him straight out that you need more quality time. Other suggestions - can you get together for breakfast or lunch? It doesn't always have to be evening/night time to see each other. What does he do that he works so much and on weekends? This is also a great reminder that you should always have your own life and your own friends and continue to go out and have fun with them. Not only does it keep you busy and take your mind of missing him, you will be enjoying yourself and not so dependent on your bf.
Vet Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I have been dating this unbelievable guy for about two months now...Every time we are together we have an amazing time, whether it be going out and doing things or just staying in for a relaxing evening...we just enjoy each others company to the fullest. He makes me feel like no other guy ever has. He gives me butterflies every time I think about him...he makes me feel special in ways I never have before. I am falling in love with him, fast. And I know the feelings are mutual. Here come's the BUT. He is a workaholic to the max. He works ALL the time, sometimes until 10 or 11 o'clock at night and almost all weekends. Since we have started dating I have seen him at least once a week, MAYBE twice if I am lucky. He does call me every night, which is great, but we live in the same city. We should be seeing each other more than once a week. I keep telling myself that he is worth it, he is worth it. But now I am not so sure. As much as I LOVE how I feel when I am with him, the way I feel when I am not is borderline unbearable sometimes. I mean granted, as we have spent more time together, it has become a bit easier to be apart from him. But still, I just can't get enough of him. I don't know if this is something I should talk about with him, or if I should just give it some more time and see how I feel? We have kind of talked about it already, but I have told him that the more time we spend together the easier it gets to be apart (which is true), and he is happy about that, but I don't want to tell him exactly how i feel because the last thing i want to do is scare him away. I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks everyone. I hate to say this to you, but he is a workaholic; that's who he is, that's who he was when you met him. He has no obligation to change for you. On the other hand, maybe he doesn't have enough time for a relationship or the feelings aren't quite as mutual as you think. How much time have you really spent with him in the past two months if you only see each other once a week? Only you know how you feel, but seeing someone a total of ten times doesn't sound like it's enough to really be in love with them. Have you thought about this?
Author SanFranGuy Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Two months isn't all that long, so yeah, don't lay your heart out on your sleeve right away. If I were you, I'd keep inviting him to fun, interesting things to do. He may say no because he has to work, but as your relationship develops and matures, he'll start making more time for you. If he doesn't, then you know what you're dealing with and will have to decide if that's enough for you or not. The answer may be "not". At which point, you have to tell him straight out that you need more quality time. Other suggestions - can you get together for breakfast or lunch? It doesn't always have to be evening/night time to see each other. What does he do that he works so much and on weekends? This is also a great reminder that you should always have your own life and your own friends and continue to go out and have fun with them. Not only does it keep you busy and take your mind of missing him, you will be enjoying yourself and not so dependent on your bf. I definitely agree with you...I think I need to give it some more time and not put myself out there so much yet. Luckily I do have a great group of friends (and some family) here, and I work quite a bit as well (mostly early morning to early evening), so it does take my mind off of him. I just like him SO much, that like I said I can't get enough of him. I think it's because it is the first true relationship I have had with a guy that appreciates me for exactly who I am. These emotions I am feeling are brand new to me so it is a little overwhelming. Thanks, norajene, for helping me to see the bigger picture. And in response to the latest post, Vet, I do know the feelings are mutual, as he has told me how he feels about me several times. So that I am not worried about. But you are right, he may never change, and I should not expect him to. So I just need to ride this out for a while and see if I can get 100% on board.
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