tryingtogetherback Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 So my ex and I have been apart for about a month and a half. Her new boyfriend won't let her talk to many people I don't think. And she has been messaging me quite a bit being friendly and stuff. Well today she says that she is really really pushing it by talking to me, and that he can't know. That she is just being a friend, and nothing more. Why would she put her new relationship on the line knowing that if he found out we were talking he would flip out on her if she just wants to be friends? Doesn't sound logical to me. Now if she still had feelings for me, it might be worth doing that, but if she really wanted to be with him, why risk it? Just curious. Maybe I'm looking to much into it. Any ideas?
Ronni_W Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Who knows? Maybe it's just her personal little 'rebellion' against him, and she's using you cos you're available? Whatever it actually is, though, doesn't really matter -- important to you is that she has told you, clearly and directly, that she just sees you as a FRIEND. If you're not over her yet and/or hoping for a reconciliation, then your best bet may be to go 'no contact' -- for your heart, most importantly, but also so you don't contribute to, or get in the middle of, whatever crap will hit the fan when he finds out.
TaraMaiden Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Wooah, mind-games, mind-games....they stink. ONE: Respect that she has a new B/F and your relationship is OVER. TWO: If you stay in contact, you delay your own 'getting over' the relationship. And that's just stupid. THREE: She's betraying her new B/F and treating his requirements as trivia, which is disrespectful. FOUR: he's made restrictive conditions, but actually, on the face of it, they're not unreasonable. Slight jealousy issues there - but it seems he's justified, doesn't it? If he's 'controlling', That's none of your business. FIVE: You shouldn't even be talking to her as a friend, because until you can picture her in a yard, with three kids, a husband and a new 4X4, and feel completely happy and relaxed for her - you're not over it, so you need to detach completely - until you're over it. Ok, I'm done!
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