Starshine Black Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Hey all. I was in a relationship for 3 years, and now that I'm out of it (been about 8 months, I'm bout 80% over it) I am wondering if there are any good books out there for how to ideally go about dating. I have no clue anymore what to do, as I was so used to a relationship dynamic. I completely do not remember how to start from the beginning and go slow, and what mistakes NOT to make. If anyone knows any good books for this.. It'd be appreciated
Hkizzle Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 You a guy or a girl? Subtle differences in approaches and thus the books.
Author Starshine Black Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 I'm a guy. And for the sake of it let's say I look pretty good. So physically there is no problem. I need to know the tricks of the trade mentally. How not to come on too strong, too fast, etc
HeadlessZebra Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 A lot of guys swear by David DeAngelo and his knockoffs. You might want to give that type of thing a try. (Sorry to be a traitor, gals)
Hkizzle Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I'm a guy. And for the sake of it let's say I look pretty good. So physically there is no problem. I need to know the tricks of the trade mentally. How not to come on too strong, too fast, etc If you're not a guy with confidence problems then you probably don't need the pick up artist stuff. But they make interesting reads mainly because for men the hardest part is getting women interested at the start. In other words the seduction phase is the phase you can significantly improve on. How well someone does later in the relationship requires a lot of self control and character changes most people can't make, since it's hard to change character flaws: The Mystery Method How to become an alpha male The Natural art of seduction.
Hkizzle Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 A lot of guys swear by David DeAngelo and his knockoffs. You might want to give that type of thing a try. (Sorry to be a traitor, gals) Yeah, David DeAngelo has good stuff. But to be honest I don't recommend PUA stuff to normal men, only to the ones that need help building confidence and getting women. The reason I say that is because PUA lifestyle is a quick way to turn into a player, which whilst fun is corrupting and ruins ability to attach women in general.
HeadlessZebra Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Yeah, David DeAngelo has good stuff. But to be honest I don't recommend PUA stuff to normal men, only to the ones that need help building confidence and getting women. The reason I say that is because PUA lifestyle is a quick way to turn into a player, which whilst fun is corrupting and ruins ability to attach women in general. That's true. And sad too.
Author Starshine Black Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 I don't want to sleep around or use girls to be honest. I'm interested in a relationship, because I feel the only time you truly grow in life is when you're in a relationship. I've had plenty of dates since the breakup, but they all lead nowhere, and I'm intelligent enough to know I'm coming on too strong or too fast. Unfortunate side effect of coming off a serious relationship. Its gotta stop.
CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 A lot of guys swear by David DeAngelo and his knockoffs. You might want to give that type of thing a try. (Sorry to be a traitor, gals) No no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT! What DeAngelo teaches are BAND-AIDS to a larger problem (insecurity, no self-confidence). Want to do well in dating? You must build a positive outlook of yourself within. The book I often recommend is not a dating book, but works well FOR dating: "No More Mr Nice Guy" (Glover). This is a book that teaches men HOW to be STRONG, CONFIDENT, SELF-ASSURED men. If you have those qualities as a man, you will automatically know how to act around women. As an added bonus, it teaches you how to handle the tests that women give (you all do, and you know it!) and how not to be a pansy, needy, clingy WUSS BOY. I think this book should be required reading for all men over the age of 16. It will teach you the stuff your dad never did (but should have). Aside from that, any book that teaches you how to be confident and self-assured, how to set boundaries, etc would help a lot. A book on comedy would help too (as women like confident and FUNNY guys). But the crap that DeAngelo teaches works only for the short term. Most intelligent women won't fall for it and the ones who will you DO NOT want (insecure women). Cheers.
bac Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 go to amazon.com , there are a lot of books. Clink 'The laidguide' is good.
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