Woggle Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I used to think it was mainly women who were addicted to bad relationships but situations at work are proving me wrong. I work with a woman who is quite attractive physically but is pretty much a repulsive human being. She cheats on her boyfriend and had beaten him up on a few occasions. She is even proud of this and thinks she is sticking it to the patriarchy. With this being said she still has men falling over her. Every man that works here except me and another guy wants to date her and she always seems to have a new side boyfriend every week. I hear her on the phone with men and she talks to them like pieces of garbage yet they can't seem to get enough. I truly do not understand it and I can understand why a nice and loving woman would be discouraged by this. She is known to date involved men and I feel bad for their women. Why are so many men attracted to he type?
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 They are attracted to the type because that type is desirable to themselves are they are aware that she is desirable to others. They want everyone around them to know they 'won' this one instead of 'settled' for the other. They are going to puff up their big gorilla chests, and parade around the 8+ hottie (who makes them miserable), but won't be caught dead with the slightly heavier and less attractive girl who usually is delegated to FWB status. They want other men to be jealous of a hot woman on their arm, not smirk at him and wonder why he is stuck with... well, someone like myself. Its a competitive thing I guess. Some men are competitive, others are just smart. I can guarantee you this: 9 times out of 10, the hottie bitch is denying sex, and the average girl is rocking her man's world in the bedroom. At least that has been the case with myself. None of that hot sex matters though, in the end. I nearly always get dumped off in the end for someone who is more "girlfriend material" ie: the megababe who he can show off and be proud of.
Thaddeus Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Why are so many men attracted to he type?These are not men, they're boys. No, scratch that. That does a disservice to boys. I know 12-year-old boys that wouldn't put up with that sort of crap. Rather, they're spineless jellyfish with no self-respect.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Yeap, men are just as capable of being attracted to "jerks" as women are. Attraction can be irrational. Unfortunetly for all the good ladies out there that don't fit the ideals and expectatiosn men have today.
OpenBook Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 It's an interesting dynamic, and fits right into the "Want A Man - Be A B*tch" theory. I think there's an element of winning/showing off the hot girl as LB mentioned... but I think there's more to it than that. I don't know exactly what it is, but I think it has something to do with a man's relationship with his mother?? I keep seeing it over and over again. The girl who rejects men and is cold and cruel to them, normally has men falling all over her. They actually start acting like an addict, jonesing for that drug... perhaps to finally win Mom's affection? Always trying to please his mother, and viewing her harsh behavior toward him as love?
Thaddeus Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 It's an interesting dynamic, and fits right into the "Want A Man - Be A B*tch" theory.Agreed, I've seen this happen over and over as well. It's the mirror image of the attraction that women tend to have with bad boys. And it invariably ends poorly.
Author Woggle Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Maybe men and women are not so different after all. These guys better not come crying to me like they usually do after they get put through the ringer. I'm sick of trying to look out for men who find themselves in this drama only to see them jump in again. The mother theory is interesting but if that is true how do you explain me? You all know about my relationship with my mother and this woman completely repulses me. I would not date her if we got stranded on an island together. It's hard enough faking civility because I have to work with her.
MSUE Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I used to think it was mainly women who were addicted to bad relationships but situations at work are proving me wrong. I work with a woman who is quite attractive physically but is pretty much a repulsive human being. She cheats on her boyfriend and had beaten him up on a few occasions. She is even proud of this and thinks she is sticking it to the patriarchy. With this being said she still has men falling over her. Every man that works here except me and another guy wants to date her and she always seems to have a new side boyfriend every week. I hear her on the phone with men and she talks to them like pieces of garbage yet they can't seem to get enough. I truly do not understand it and I can understand why a nice and loving woman would be discouraged by this. She is known to date involved men and I feel bad for their women. Why are so many men attracted to he type? you are absolutely right...it is a two way road...and for the longest time there's been the stereotype of men being the jerk and the bad boys...but I personally know plenty of girls who are just as bad...sadly enough my BFF is like that...she is a great friend of mine we've been BFF's for like 10 years but every week she's gat a new and disposes them like they are garbage...she is a great seducer but plays games...I love her and respect her if that works for her then that's that but I don't agree as she breaks hearts on a weekly bases
Hkizzle Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Attraction is linked to value, which is linked to perceived hard to get and desirability. You said she's attractive physically..........well there you go. Many people, probably 50% don't pick nice, but desirable. Then they wonder why they don't meet anyone nice. Nice and highly desirable is rarer. It's about demand and supply, everyone wants that, but few people can offer it.
Devil Inside Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I've always been attracted to really confident women, which often come off as bitches. However, just because you are attracted does not mean they are right for you.
Author Woggle Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Attraction is linked to value, which is linked to perceived hard to get and desirability. You said she's attractive physically..........well there you go. Many people, probably 50% don't pick nice, but desirable. Then they wonder why they don't meet anyone nice. Nice and highly desirable is rarer. It's about demand and supply, everyone wants that, but few people can offer it. I see what you are saying but how is a misandrist who cheats on her boyfriend and physically abuses him valuable and desirable?
redhighheels Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 She's valuable and desirable because she's not his. The competitive nature of men is far stronger than their brain at times. It's something along the lines of wanting what you can't have. It's truly amazing what men (and women as well) are willing to put up with just to get some - whatever that 'some' might be. Women who play this game know better than to give in, that's when they lose the upper hand and everything flies out the window. Gotta keep 'em on their toes. But the men that allow themselves to be humiliated in such a way have far bigger issues, if you ask me.
Hkizzle Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I see what you are saying but how is a misandrist who cheats on her boyfriend and physically abuses him valuable and desirable? What a lot of people don't realize, and I had this discussion with you in the "cheating is biological thread, is that when it comes to picking mates a lot of our drives are biological and subconscious. Most people keep thinking all the things that drive human beings is consciously and clearly thought out. But obviously it's not or else humans wouldn't do the things they do. When someone finds the other person desirable, the brain is telling them the high value person is worth staying with no matter what because they offer good genes for mating. The brain doesn't care if they're a jerk.........
LovieDove24 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 These bitch+chasing relationships usually only appear when both parties are not at their healthiest emotionally and mentally. I speak from experience, because the more unbalanced I was in my life, the more I sought out partners who tipped the scales even more to mirror my moods. In other words, if I felt less than worthy, I'd seek out men who made me feel that way. It most certainly can only be the same for men. If they are feeling less than desired and experiencing a lack of attention, they will seek women who mirror this. Now only is it in my healthiest (mentally and emotionally) that I can honestly say I'd ditch the sarcastic but hot, jerk-around bad boy for the cutie pie with a heart. Like attracts like when it comes to relationships, that is why timing is so important.
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 It's just sad that this is what relationships have come to. Instead of chasing after an honest and loving woman these men chase after an obviously no good woman just because she is considered some prize. If my way of doing things makes me out of touch and old fashioned then I am glad to be that way.
paddington bear Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I agree with you Woggle, I've seen this time and time again too. I would agree with the other posters about the competitive thing, the immaturity and so on. I would also add that 'in general' men's role often in relationships or when wooing a woman is that of trying to please the woman and getting pleasure when they've done something for her, such as paying for a date, or buying her a gift or repairing her washing machine - you get the idea. You can be a knock-out 10, but be too easily pleased and many men will be bored. The nasty women who don't treat men well might be hot or not so hot in looks, but what they have is the illusion of confidence, i.e. they are not and will never be easily pleased. In this way they always keep that carrot just out of reach, so the guys will always try to be the one that 'makes her happy'. The woman always gets what she wants, slavish attention, striving to make her happy, and the less happy she is, the harder the men will try to please her. I do think it's an addictive cycle. I do also think, whether men or women, if you're with, or attracted to an unavailable person, or a person who doesn't treat you so well, it ultimately shows that this is all you think you deserve, so it also serves as a mirror to ourselves. We get what we think we deserve.
Author Woggle Posted August 14, 2009 Author Posted August 14, 2009 I do think a desire to please women is a big part of it. Many men are really scared of a woman's disapproval and they try to prove themselves to her. I couldn't care less about pleasing an unpleasable woman and maybe that is why I find this woman more repulsive than attractive. If a woman is unpleasable I just figure she is not worth the drama and I move on. Of course I love making my wife happy but that is because she truly does appreciate it.
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