tigressA Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 How many people here are/were late bloomers? Did you feel you were really awkward-looking when you were younger but have "grown into" your looks? Did you not have your first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first whatever else until you were out of high school, or at the very least not until years after all your friends did? I was a late bloomer. I wasn't deemed attractive enough for any guy to like me all throughout junior high/high school; I didn't feel comfortable with my appearance until my last year of high school. I didn't get my "first" anything until I entered my freshman year of college. I was frustrated for years until things started happening for me, but once they did I became really grateful that they were delayed--the fact that I had all my relationship "firsts" in my first year of college made what was already better than my entire 4 years of high school combined even more amazing. And it's always fun to hear people say, "Wow, really? No way!" when I tell them these things.
You'reasian Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 How many people here are/were late bloomers? Did you feel you were really awkward-looking when you were younger but have "grown into" your looks? Did you not have your first kiss, first boyfriend/girlfriend, first whatever else until you were out of high school, or at the very least not until years after all your friends did? I was a late bloomer. I wasn't deemed attractive enough for any guy to like me all throughout junior high/high school; I didn't feel comfortable with my appearance until my last year of high school. I didn't get my "first" anything until I entered my freshman year of college. I was frustrated for years until things started happening for me, but once they did I became really grateful that they were delayed--the fact that I had all my relationship "firsts" in my first year of college made what was already better than my entire 4 years of high school combined even more amazing. And it's always fun to hear people say, "Wow, really? No way!" when I tell them these things. I kept in touch with my first HS gf. We had a lot of fun!! I wasn't attractive in jr high or hs either, so in that aspect I was a late bloomer - but I guess I got lucky.
385 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Yeah, that's kinda like me and growing up it pissed me off, but in retrospect, I'm glad it happened that way. I may have been a 'late bloomer' looks wise and stuff like that, but I mentally matured the same speed if not faster than other people because I sorta got to see what other people did right/wrong before I jumped in.
Thornton Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Oo me me me! I was a late bloomer! I didn't drink alcohol or have a bf until I was 17! This is pretty amazing, considering that some of my peers got pregnant at 12-13 years old, and at the very least they were smoking, drinking and sleeping around by that age.
carhill Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 At the time I remember frustration, but grew to accept my path was different and unique and not to measure myself by the parameters of others. What I came to learn is that all that 'experience' did not guarantee any better or more healthy results, as my later friendships with many women would educate me. In retrospect, I am so glad I followed the path I did. Their path would've killed me
CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Definitely a late bloomer here. I was a cute kid and hadn't really matured in my looks until the last 3-4 years or so. My friends think this is the best I've ever looked. Not sure if that was an insult or not!
Author tigressA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Definitely a late bloomer here. I was a cute kid and hadn't really matured in my looks until the last 3-4 years or so. My friends think this is the best I've ever looked. Not sure if that was an insult or not! Yeah, I've gotten comments like that too. I choose to take them as compliments because they're not explicitly saying you looked totally atrocious before, you know? It's entirely possible to have someone think you looked good before but that you've improved.
GoodOnPaper Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Definitely a late bloomer -- along with almost every other nerdy guy in the free world, I imagine. I think learning to know and accept yourself results from a combination of time and experience. If you don't get much experience, it takes more time -- in my case, my late 30's. Unfortunately, I can't take full advantage, already having a marriage and family in tow.
CaliGuy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Yeah, I've gotten comments like that too. I choose to take them as compliments because they're not explicitly saying you looked totally atrocious before, you know? It's entirely possible to have someone think you looked good before but that you've improved. If that's you in the avatar, I'm sure you had pretty good stock to start from
thegoodlife Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Definitely a late bloomer here as well and I'm glad it's worked out this way. I'm still growing into my looks now so I'm really looking forward to what the next few years will bring.
monkey00 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Yup a late bloomer. When I was younger in HS, I'd wear hand-me downs of my brother. I don't think I really grew into my looks until a few years ago and learned how to dress appropriately. Whoever said men get better with age, I couldn't agree more.
2sure Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I was a late bloomer, way late I think. Physically until at least 10th grade and by then I had zero confidence so even though I looked good my lack of confidence came through. ALL of the women in my family were late bloomers. The good news is that we DO bloom, and spectacularly so if I may say so myself. My daughter is on her way to the same fate, and I'm just trying to help her maintain some confidence . I havent yet told her that she will suddenly morph into a super model...the day after senior prom.
Author tigressA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 If that's you in the avatar, I'm sure you had pretty good stock to start from Yes, it's me. I have a picture in my album of me in 6th grade. I was adorable before I hit double-digits in age, but once that happened, hello awkwardness For me it became important to know exactly what to do to best improve/maintain my appearance--for years I had no clue what to do with my hair, skin, etc. 2sure: How old is your daughter?
2sure Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 13.5, still chubby, mouthful of braces, tallest girl in her school, knows her dermatologists phone number by heart, and reads text books for fun.
2sure Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 AND she is the most wonderful person that Ive ever met.
Lyssa Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I was the awkward kid throughout primary school - the tallest among most of the girls, even guys. Only turned into a swan , maybe around the age of 16.
Author tigressA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 AND she is the most wonderful person that Ive ever met. As long as she knows this, she'll be fine. And even better once she morphs into a stunner--an intelligent one, to boot.
EddieN Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Right now I'm going into my junior year of college, and I've never had a girlfriend. I've had sex 3 times, all during college with different girls. I've hooked up with a few more (without having sex). I've never seen anyone steady, though. Up until I was 15 I was really fat. I was picked on and occasionally beaten up at school. Freshmen year was absolutely horrible. By my junior year of high school I lost all the weight and put on a lot of muscle. No one ****ed with me after that, and my past bullies got their's in the end, but I was still a loner and socially awkward. I didn't have my first kiss until the second semester of my freshmen year at college. So I'm definitely a late bloomer...and I'm still waiting to bloom in some ways. I'm glad I found this thread. I sometimes feel a bit bad because it seems like most people were seasoned with dating and intimacy in high school, while I'm still trying to find my first gf 1/2 way through college. It makes me feel bad sometimes, but knowing that I'm not the only one who's a bit behind is comforting.
2sure Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 For me, as a late bloomer - my confidence and self awareness was definitely affected. When I finally did "bloom" and started to get attention from the opposite sex...I was always suspicious of their intent...of why they would want to be with me?? So - just wait it out, dont sabotage yourself.
EddieN Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Actually, I just looked the posts in this thread a bit closer. People call not having sex till 17 a late bloomer? Really? Or not having a relationship till your first year of college? See, I feel like everyone I'm around has been social since they became a teen. I spent the vast majority of my teen years not doing ANYTHING with girls, even being around them. Does this make it that much more abnormal to not have had a girlfriend or dated at the point I'm at?
Isolde Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I'm an archetypal late bloomer in some ways but an early bloomer, in others. I'm not really what I'd call naive, but I don't have a ton of social or dating experience, for several reasons. On the other hand, I have a good idea of where I want to go in life and a fairly well developed awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. As for looks, I was awkward for a few years in my teens but not majorly so. I haven't really bloomed much. I'm 23 and still look like a goofy kid sometimes!
sunshinegirl Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Super late bloomer here. Had my first kiss at 15, sure, but didn't have a real relationship until I was 25, and didn't have sex until I was 33. For the most part I am glad my path has been what it was, but there are times when I think that it sucks to learn relationship lessons so much later than my peers did. My family figures I'm about 5-8 years behind the curve. And oh, looks wise, yep I seem to get better looking every year. I looked fine in college but had a severe case of self-consciousness. I've grown into myself and my looks, I'd say.
Author tigressA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 See, I feel like everyone I'm around has been social since they became a teen. I spent the vast majority of my teen years not doing ANYTHING with girls, even being around them. Does this make it that much more abnormal to not have had a girlfriend or dated at the point I'm at? If you've had negative or no experience in dealing with the opposite sex, it's logical that it will take some more time before you get comfortable enough. So no, it's not abnormal at all.
Els Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I'm not even done blooming yet at 23. I've never put on makeup or styled my hair before. I go into R rated movies and they ask for my damned ID when I'm 5 years past the age! I once went out with a guy two years younger than me and people were asking him if I was his younger sister. For chrissakes? Everyone says that it's good to look younger than your age (really? It's good to have people ask if you're 15 when you're 23? God help me when I actually start working, the entire office will probably think I'm the new errand girl...), but the sad part is that I think in a few years' time I'll skip straight from 15 to 30, since I can't really be bothered and can't afford good beauty regimes. Hrrmph. I hope not.
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