Cora Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 This is in response to the thread I posted about the new guy I met who seems to be a little umm overly interested in me. The one who constantly contacts me. Here is the link. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=198061 He is extremely nice. Sometimes I think he is a little too nice, but he is awfully clingy. I have always said I wish I could meet a guy who would contact me more often. You know the ones who contact you more than just once in a blue moon? However, I think what this guy is doing is a little extreme. I have been ignoring him and thinking he would get the hint soon. Please note that I feel completely horrible about doing this. Maybe I'm going about this all wrong and I should say something to him instead of ignoring him like this. Well, he sent me another text this morning saying hello beautiful. I did not respond. I have been out all day. I had a doctors appointment this morning and then went shopping with my mother for an outfit to wear to my interview tomorrow. The whole time I was out he has been texting me. I finally text him back saying I can't talk now, at a doctors appointment. He then texts me again saying ah fun fun. Then he says I miss you. I say nothing more. He follows up with a you miss me? I did not respond again. Oh and I forgot about the 2-3 texts he sent me last night after I had already gone to bed just saying missing you etc. I mean seriously is one text a day not enough? Do most guys text this much so early on? The only reason I responded to that text about being at the doctors is because he keeps filling up my inbox on my phone and I'm constantly having to delete his messages. Should I say something to him? Should I just tell him I'm not interested, but in a nice way? Or should I just continue ignoring him and eventually he will stop? I'm not sure how to go about this. I really thought he would have gotten the hint by now. He doesn't seem like a bad guy at all and I'm feeling guilty about doing this to him. I don't mind the constant texts so much. I honestly don't know why I'm a little creeped out by him. I guess it was the fact that he started talking about sex during our third IM conversation. It made me think that's all he wanted. I confronted him about it and he apologized and assured me that's not what he wants. Then why even bring it up? He is also a bit cocky which also turned me off and now the constant texting. I could live with the constant texting and even the being cocky to a certain extent. However, it really made me think when he started discussing sex. I'm not overreacting here am I? Would you guys give him another chance? If I don't would you continue to ignore him or would you say to him that you just aren't interested? I don't know what to do here. I can't believe I'm even considering giving him a chance. Maybe it's just the guilt I feel that is talking. I don't know. Anymore advice? Thanks
Thaddeus Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Should I say something to him? Should I just tell him I'm not interested, but in a nice way? Or should I just continue ignoring him and eventually he will stop? I'm not sure how to go about this.Yes, you should tell him. But there's no law saying you have to be nice about it. Seriously... no joke here. "You have texted/emailed (whatever the major means of communication has been) too many times in too short a time. I am officially TURNED OFF by this. DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN. EVER. No texts, no emails, no NOTHING. DO NOT EVEN RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE, because I will not respond to you. Further contact will force me to contact the authorities." Something like that should do the trick. I know it seems awfully harsh, and I know that it will make you uncomfortable, but if you don't put your foot down immediately you can bet your last shrinking dollar that it's going to get worse.
Author Cora Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 As soon as I submitted this post he sent yet another text....thinking of you and a smiley face. Seriously this can't be normal right? I mean it's not like I'm encouraging him.
Author Cora Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Yes, you should tell him. But there's no law saying you have to be nice about it. Seriously... no joke here. "You have texted/emailed (whatever the major means of communication has been) too many times in too short a time. I am officially TURNED OFF by this. DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN. EVER. No texts, no emails, no NOTHING. DO NOT EVEN RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE, because I will not respond to you. Further contact will force me to contact the authorities." Something like that should do the trick. I know it seems awfully harsh, and I know that it will make you uncomfortable, but if you don't put your foot down immediately you can bet your last shrinking dollar that it's going to get worse. Thanks! I just hate hate hate being mean. You are right though, he may not stop if I don't. Ughh I have never really turned someone down before. Never had to. Jeeze this is tough!
BCCA Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 As soon as I submitted this post he sent yet another text....thinking of you and a smiley face. Seriously this can't be normal right? I mean it's not like I'm encouraging him. Did he just get out of a long term relationship? Or has he been single for a really long time? Also, Thaddeus is spot on, you have to make it CLEAR and leave no room for interpretation. This is creepo behavior.
Author Cora Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Did he just get out of a long term relationship? Or has he been single for a really long time? Also, Thaddeus is spot on, you have to make it CLEAR and leave no room for interpretation. This is creepo behavior. Umm I'm not really sure. I know he has been married before and he told me about one long term relationship he had after the marriage, but I'm not sure how long ago those were. I didn't pry. I mean seriously I don't know much about him. We are still in the process of getting to know each other. I think it's barely been a week since I have met him and I don't think I want to continue if he is already acting like this after only a week.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Just tell him to leave you alone already! You're giving him mixed messages. You hate his clinginess but you don't mind his messages? If you don't mind then you wouldn't be complaining about his constant texting. Be tough, but most of all be straightforward. P.S. he's the type that won't get the message until you tell him off.
KS882 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Have to agree, these types of guys don't get the message very easily. Does sound like you have to be harsh then maybe he will stop contacting you. I think I replied to your other thread but you've known him a week? I should have read through the other thread again sorry but just read this thread and from what you've written it doesn't sound like he's treating it like he's someone you've known for just a week. He hasn't met you, he doesn't know you, all seems a bit weird to me. He's acting like he's already in some kinda relationship with you. Maybe it's just me but that really doesn't seem normal. Hmm yeah it is nice when guys text you or ring more than once in a blue moon but there is a point where it becomes really annoying too. Sounds slightly desperate on his part too when he's saying he's "missing you". How can he miss someone he's never met? Anyway, yeah, think you should say something along the lines of what Thaddeus said. Hope he gets the message soon!
Author Cora Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Thanks, I haven't heard from him at all today so maybe he finally got the message. However, if he does contact me again I will put my foot down. Maybe this is all my fault. I mean I did give him my number against my better judgement. Even after I told him I don't usually give my number out to people I hardly know. I ate those words real fast! I shouldn't have even responded to his email. I mean I'm not looking for anyone to date. Quite frankly I'm fed up with the whole dating thing. I'm not in the right frame of mind and it just makes me feel pathetic and desperate. I really hope that I have heard the last from him because I really don't feel like confronting him. I feel like a horrible person for ignoring him, but yet I also feel that by not confronting him I'm falsly leading him on. Thanks to all for the advice. Sometimes I think my posts sound rather silly. It's like I can't think for myself on the simplest of things. I just screw things up. Sorry, It's just been one of those days. Can't seem to do anything right today.
KS882 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 It's not desperate though. I've never tried internet dating but a few of my friends have and they've met some really nice guys. Just seems like you've found one of the strange ones! But that's good he hasn't contacted you today yet, lets hope he keeps that up! And if he doesn't sound like you really do need to say something!
Keoki Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Seriously... no joke here. "You have texted/emailed (whatever the major means of communication has been) too many times in too short a time. I am officially TURNED OFF by this. DO NOT CONTACT ME AGAIN. EVER. No texts, no emails, no NOTHING. DO NOT EVEN RESPOND TO THIS MESSAGE, because I will not respond to you. Further contact will force me to contact the authorities." Something like that should do the trick. Well, yeah boy, that would definitely do the trick! I've been tempted to say the same thing to some guys in the past. I'd simply say: "Please stop texting me." I think that'd serve the same purpose, without being as abrasive.
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