norajane Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I agree with a previous poster that the last three are reek 'doormat' attitude! WTF? Letting him know that you're hot to have sex with him, cooking for your guy and not trying to make him jealous reeks "doormat"? Jeez, what kind of guys are you people dating?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 WTF? Letting him know that you're hot to have sex with him, cooking for your guy and not trying to make him jealous reeks "doormat"? Jeez, what kind of guys are you people dating? NJ you need to reread the original post. Of course they reek of " doormat", it's like trying to do all of those things just to please the guy. A relationship should have balance, and not trying too yourself so you can be at the person's beck and call.
norajane Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 All I read is a woman treating her man like he's special to her in a long term relationship. Only an ass is going to lose interest or think of her as a doormat. The only thing I question is the "never rejecting sex" thing. But I don't know what she means by that. If she means never withholding as a manipulation tactic or choosing not to have sex for weeks and months at a time, yep, I agree with her. If she means never saying "not a good time right now" because she's not feeling well or had a terrible day, that's different. I am confused about men's "chaser" mentality and how to apply it to a long-term relationship. Will my man lose interest in me if I do the following things? 1. I am available for dates most of the time. 2. I let him know that I like him a lot. 3. I let him know that I love to have sex with him and I will never reject having sex with him. 4. I let him know that I do not need anyone else. I will not make him jealous. 5. I do pleasant things for him such as cooking, giving gifts.
Citizen Drawn Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Of course they reek of "doormat"; it's like trying to do all of those things just to please the guy. . Those are awesomely guy pleasing things, and there's nothing wrong with it. If a man offers the same sort of affection and generosity in return then it's a pretty good 2 way deal. The point you can label this the behaviour of a doormat is when she does all those things, gets nothing in response, and it's all give and no take. Being a doormat IS NOTHING to do with being generous, being a doormat is all give and no take.
You'reasian Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 All those things listed would keep most of us guys happy - we're simple.
Peaceandlove Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Totally agree, and well put. It's not about what or how much she is doing for him that makes her a doormat.. as long as he is reciprocating in pleasing her then the relationship is in balance. you guys, being a doormat is doing those things in spite of the other person not reciprocating- that's why I said before that you need to let the guy 'earn' these privilidges otherwise he becomes complacent and doesn't appreciate all the things you do for him and eventually you become a doormat this applies for any kind of relationship, even little kids walking all over their parents as spoiled brats
Chicago_Guy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 The last 3 reeks " doormat". Why would you never turn down sex? If you're not in the mood, then say no. It's because of most people's inability to say no that they set themselves to get hurt. Anything in excess is bad. And that will apply to relationships. People are attracted to new things, but everything new will lose their freshness and people will turn their attentions elsewhere. Guys love to chase, that's a fact. But once they end up getting the girl, they will get bored. What attracted these men to the girl in the first place is the girl's personality and independence. Yet most of these girls would become clingy and dependent when they're in a relationship, thus they drive away the guy they're with. Always retain your self- identity. There are certain things like cooking that can be sweet and loving, but never ever become a doormat. I think it's funny when women start giving advice on what guys like to do or how they think about women. As a man, I can tell you that a lot of guys do not like to chase women, although I suppose this depends on what is meant by "chase." If "chasing" means asking a girl out on a date and initially calling her and setting up dates, that's one thing and perhaps guys do like that to a certain extent if the girl is fun. However, some women seem to think that "chasing" means that the guy is supposed to aggressively pursue them and keep calling to ask them out even if the women frequently don't answer the phone when called and often call back a day or two later, if at all. An aloof woman is a real turn-off to me and makes me assume that a woman isn't interested, although I cannot be certain.
Chicago_Guy Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I am confused about men's "chaser" mentality and how to apply it to a long-term relationship. Will my man lose interest in me if I do the following things? 1. I am available for dates most of the time. 2. I let him know that I like him a lot. 3. I let him know that I love to have sex with him and I will never reject having sex with him. 4. I let him know that I do not need anyone else. I will not make him jealous. 5. I do pleasant things for him such as cooking, giving gifts. Points 1, 2, 4, and 5 are positive things if the guy is really into you. However, I find it very difficult to believe that you really mean point 3. What if you are sick - are you still going to have sex with the guy?
confusedcookie Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 wow, i was surprised to see how some guys would claim that they would be scared of this women, doesn't she sound perfect? lol anyways, my two cents, i think that a chase, an effort on the guys part to earn the women needs to be there at the beginning, but once it progresses on to a long term relationship, why would you need a chase? you guys are comfortable with each other right i think you only need the chase or game at the beginning, if your 10 year marriage was a chase, holy moly, that would be tiresome and a headache right?
xpaperxcutx Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I think it's funny when women start giving advice on what guys like to do or how they think about women. As a man, I can tell you that a lot of guys do not like to chase women, although I suppose this depends on what is meant by "chase." If "chasing" means asking a girl out on a date and initially calling her and setting up dates, that's one thing and perhaps guys do like that to a certain extent if the girl is fun. However, some women seem to think that "chasing" means that the guy is supposed to aggressively pursue them and keep calling to ask them out even if the women frequently don't answer the phone when called and often call back a day or two later, if at all. An aloof woman is a real turn-off to me and makes me assume that a woman isn't interested, although I cannot be certain. "Chasing" has negative connotations. If a guy wasn't aggressive, I would call that " pursuing". I wasn't trying to assert my advice on anyone, but it's acknowledged that men do " chase" more. Of course, not all men do it, but a majority does.
LovieDove24 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 To respond to the Op's original questions, you will "scare" off any guy who is not looking to be in it for the long haul. If a guy is marriage material, he will NOT see these things as negatives. For the guys who do freak out, its all about timing baby. They may just not be ready for someone who appears to be emotionally available, loving and wifey material .
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