mmk1 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 My ex broke up with me one year ago but have been in contact since, with alot of initial begging and pleading from me. Since then, we've gotten together many times and see each other for work occassionally. She has steadfastly maintained that she will not get back with me and stuck with it. I would like to reconcile. We've broken up 2-3x in the past and always got back together, but this is by far the longest time between. We had gone to lunch almost monthly and traded emails. Recently, we went for drinks after work to an old favorite spot that I hoped would rekindle the romance, but just a hug and walked away. Now she would like to go out for drinks again, but of course just as friends, which is not what I want. Part of me hopes that keeping this kind of contact will bring her around, but she shows no signs of coming around and its been along time. Should I keep in contact and keep trying or just give up? I'm torn between going NC forever or trying to play along and hoping for the best. Any advice?
justletgo07 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Sticking around and being friends often isn't the way to go. I did this for 9 months, and all it did was lead to more heartbreak. I would suggest slowly fading from her life, gradually becoming more and more busy until you just don't talk at all anymore. IMO, you will be better off, and ultimately happier, if you let go and move on. I have been NC with my ex for almost a month now (including ignoring her attempts to contact me), and despite all of my hesitation about doing it, I have been feeling much better because of it. For me, NC has given me control of my life again, instead of endlessly pining away over someone who may be gone for good. If I have learned anything from my experience, it has been that no one is worth putting your life on hold.
selena_cat Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Justlego is right,if you get to read my post,this friendship thing can go for years until they meet someone,you don't want to be sitting across from the table with her gushing happily that she met someone,and yaers later she's till with him while you wait for crumbs of friendship. I am still at that dead end phase now and i surely will follor justlego's advice from fading from his life, it just doesnt work sticking around to be their friend,its such a dead end,hope it helps.
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