Darren09 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Feeling completley alone even if i spend time with other people it doesnt intereset me at all. I cant have a proper conversation without day dreamin? Anyone else feel like this? Every thing i do there is something to remind me of this love i shared. For the record my ex nows exactly how i feel about her. She even made a point of saying she loves me and she always will. (while with someone else hmmmm) Anyway trying to keep NC if she has something to say she knows where i am i think thats whats keeping me from texting, calling or just bassically stalking her. Iv never been on my own like this before is there anyone else feeling real lonely out there and if so what gives you strength day by day. thanks
greenparrot Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 darren, I know the feeling but to tell you the truth I know I felt worse when she contacted me and I answered only to hear the same trash of always (she loves me, doesnt want to be with anyone-- only to be going out with an ahole) it seems far, but what brings me strength is wanting to be a better person in evey aspect and rub it later in her face. So Im growing from this. When I feel horrible I watch Tv, our pump ipod. I know i shouldnt be crying, but when necessary it helps me afterwards. Anything from not contacting her is way better. Hang in there, Im sure we'll get better..
ThomasX Forever Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 You will. For 8 months after I lost my ex I suffered in different ways. My best advice? Do your best to cry. Cry as hard as you can, absolutely as hard as you can. Go to youtube and watch movie trailers of the movies you saw together, and just let it out the best you can. Because the only way to heal is through tears. Every tear you cry is a memory you are letting go of through your eyes.
gypsi Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 hey darren I know exactly how you feel im in the same situation my ex also said she will always love me but she thinks we have no future, i am so lonely and in a foreign country absolutely everything reminds me of her as we came here for a romantic getaway once....to be honest i want to text her so badly i haven heard from her in 32 days as i have been no contact, and its starting to get to me i heard she hooked up with a guy recently, so in my mind that means she is over me whats the point in texting her??? I do still look at my phone and hope she will text me but it never happens, i dont know what to say to make you feel better. Maybe i should just tell you what everyone else tells me...TIME is the only thing that will make you feel better. If we were together we would most probably watch the meteor shower togehter tonight... Atleast you know there are other people like me in the exact same situation as you. Be strong. Life will eventually get better or atleast thats what everyone keeps telling me.
GrayClouds Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Feeling completley alone even if i spend time with other people it doesnt intereset me at all. I cant have a proper conversation without day dreamin? Anyone else feel like this? Every thing i do there is something to remind me of this love i shared. For the record my ex nows exactly how i feel about her. She even made a point of saying she loves me and she always will. (while with someone else hmmmm) Anyway trying to keep NC if she has something to say she knows where i am i think thats whats keeping me from texting, calling or just bassically stalking her. Iv never been on my own like this before is there anyone else feeling real lonely out there and if so what gives you strength day by day. thanks we all do. her point of saying she loves you and always will is saying "i feel a bit guilty and i am trying to let you down easy but in reality i am stringing you along because it makes me feel good to do so" to feel better it takes time and work. time you can not rush, the work you can. do the things you enjoy even if you don't right now. find a new hobby, join a gym and get HUGH, keep moving walk, run, skip wear yourself out. allow your self to get mad and sad and then go back to doing something new. be with your friends. and know after you get trough this you will be a better person.
hoping2heal Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Feeling completley alone even if i spend time with other people it doesnt intereset me at all. I cant have a proper conversation without day dreamin? Anyone else feel like this? Every thing i do there is something to remind me of this love i shared. I have been there yes. For several months it was that, along with crying myself to sleep nearly every single night. I felt really devestated for months on end, it was painful but I let myself feel everything as it came, I never denied myself my feelings, I think that's part of what helped me move on. For the record my ex nows exactly how i feel about her. She even made a point of saying she loves me and she always will. (while with someone else hmmmm) Yeah, this line is SO, and I mean SO played out. No one loves someone and dates someone else, or loves someone and doesn't date that person at all. Well; unless you have suddenly become abusive or dentrimental to their well being; THEN you know they may not have gotten over their love for you but have to leave you anyway for their own personal safety. That's the only exception though, otherwise you're just getting lip service. Actions must ALWAYS line up with words, otherwise it's just lies. Remember that. Anyway trying to keep NC if she has something to say she knows where i am i think thats whats keeping me from texting, calling or just bassically stalking her. I personally Wouldn't give her the time of day, but ok. That's just me though and while I have been misguided and naive to things before, now I will never ever allow someone who wants to bold faced lie to me to have open access to me. Each their own, I suppose. Iv never been on my own like this before is there anyone else feeling real lonely out there and if so what gives you strength day by day. thanks You've never been on your own like this? Is this your first break up?
adamt Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Its been over 2 months since break up. first 3 weeks i was in pieces. then i realised i had to pick myself up and deal with it head on. Those nights in alone were killing me. So i joined the gym and go to work out, run,swim,sauna,jacuzzi..etc most week nights to break up the evening. weekends i go out with friends, cycle, hiking. It was hard to motivate myself at first. The worst bit was waking up at 5.30am most mornings. but that disappearing now as i tire myself out. I also read before going to bed. Basically, i just fill up my time to stop me feeling lonely. Then when i sat resting i am tired and chilling out. Although i still think about her but my emotions are more under control. The gym is giving me confidence back as i look more toned and getting fitter.
Author Darren09 Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 Shes my first love and i have never been alone like this. I gave way too much of my time to her and now i am literally house bound. Shes always been there for me this is first time shes really not. shes never contacts me unless i do basically so i have just left it now. whats point huh?
hoping2heal Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Shes my first love and i have never been alone like this. I gave way too much of my time to her and now i am literally house bound. Shes always been there for me this is first time shes really not. shes never contacts me unless i do basically so i have just left it now. whats point huh? OH. Yeah, first love is really really hard. I mean, all heartbreak is hard; it's just that second or third heartbreak you have the advantage of looking back and saying "Well, I never thought I would move on and heal after so and so, but I did and found love again, I know I can do it again." First love also makes a person even more naive and likely to believe it when the one who broke their heart lies to them (like yours is doing) etc. It's a tough spot and it feels hopeless. Like you will never be happy again. Every other person looks grey and mundane, and you only wish they would be full of color and catch your attention the way the person who broke your heart did. You will move on though, and you will be happy again. I thought Adamt's post was really really excellent. I know the last thing you feel like doing when you're heartbroken is having motivation, but if you challenge yourself to motivating for 5 days, just 5; I bet by the end of it you'll discover that viola; it's not so bad. It's just that first few days that is hard. Don't try to rebound with anyone; this is bad for your heart and someone else's, so don't do that. BUT, start doing something you like, and be social without it being a romantic thing. Take good care of yourself and pick another short term goal you want to accomplish. All this stuff will help you realise you're okay as you. You can face hurt and heartbreak, but you can still be strong and productive and move forward towards healing.
moo Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I feel abandoned. Then again I felt lonely when I was in the relationship as well.
adamt Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 First 2 weeks i just spent all my time on the internet searching for answers. I couldnt focus at work, i sometimes broke down in the toilets. I would go to my parents but feel depressed and go back home then go on internet hoping for an email from her or search for answers. I forced myself to go out with friends. But don't drink too much because that will solve nothing. I was depressed and just wanted to sit on my bed with my laptop but slowly i was improving. I stayed strong and didnt contact the ex. I talked to all my friends about it to get her out of my system.. Its a long hard process, but it gets better quicker if you really want to move on. Just make short term and medium term plans. I use the gym to set targets. Weekend hiking and cycling with friends helps clear the head and feel better. Just focus on yourself and doign things that make you feel better. Its now over 2 months and its weird because it feels like we never went out for 3 years but more like 6 months. I guess the memories are fading. Although i still get sad sometimes.
ThomasX Forever Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I feel abandoned. Then again I felt lonely when I was in the relationship as well. This is a problem stemming from within yourself. And no one else can fix you, you have to actively seek help, and make sure to address this point with the proper counselors/psychologists.
adamt Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 It does get better if you really want it to get better rather than sat feeling sorry for yourself. Even the little things start to make a difference. Like if the weather is good this weekend I fancy sitting in the local park reading a book and people watch. if oyu do things to make yourself feel good then you begin to accept that being on your own isnt too bad and you can just go out and do stuff without planning around someone else. i'm 38 and saying this stuff, at 22 the world can be your oyster. No ties, you can go and do whatever you want. experience stuff and meet loads f new people. At 24 i was bored and went to the USA on my own and travelled around for 6 months
Narf Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Loneliness is a horrible feeling i think it is one of the worst that comes when someone leaves you... Im a twin and had never been alone. I did everything with my sister right there all the time at school, at home EVERYWHERE then we got older got b/fs and they kinda replaced what me and my sister had, when i broke up with my first b/f (we had been dating 8 years) I had no sister (she had moved to another state) and no b/f. but about 6 months after the break up and being alone.. You realise it isnt that bad! Doing what you want to do, not having to share! Even being alone in your own head is a great way to improve and get over things. All the best with your healing and dont worry it does get better and the feeling of lonliness goes too.
Peanut9330 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I understand how you feel I felt that void before and I can tell you that it does get better in time. I don’t feel the pain or void anymore and I am able to live my life and be myself again. Just think positive and take on day at a time and it will get better.
bolso4 Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 You will. For 8 months after I lost my ex I suffered in different ways. My best advice? Do your best to cry. Cry as hard as you can, absolutely as hard as you can. Go to youtube and watch movie trailers of the movies you saw together, and just let it out the best you can. Because the only way to heal is through tears. Every tear you cry is a memory you are letting go of through your eyes. i agree with this. It helped me a lot.
bhawake Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I am out here and feeling very alone. 4 years of marriage. A sudden split from her and NC since. I moved to another state after the break up. This is having been born and raised in the same state. It was a financial move that I wasn't to pleased about but had to happen. I am now in unfamiliar territory, friendless, and have a big huge ugly empy feeling in my stomach and this is 8 months after the break up. I don't have words of advice, I won't say it gets better anytime soon, but I will say there are other people, myself included, that are feeling things just like you are feeling them.
moo Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 This is a problem stemming from within yourself. And no one else can fix you, you have to actively seek help, and make sure to address this point with the proper counselors/psychologists. I was in therapy and I will be in again soon. But I was lonely in the relationship because my ex was never around. I made excuses for him. I addressed the fact that I kept making excuses for him in therapy. I feel abandoned because we were going to live together and the next thing I know he is with another woman. I don't think the abandoned issue stems from me. He built my hopes up and then he left me.
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