MissJoness Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I don't have a very good relationship with my father. We haven't spoken in years So lately, I've been finding myself attracted to older men even more than usual. I had met a man who was in his late 40s. I thought he was much younger, because he looked as if he were in his mid to late 30s. But when I spoke to him, he gave off a very paternal vibe, and I felt very safe around him. I just have this desire to want a man to be like a father to me and a lover. I know its weird but that's how I felt when I was around this man. I wanted him to be the father I never had, and to be a boyfriend to me.
Vet Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Having a partner that you find similar traits of a father-figure (physical, emotional, and financial security) is one thing, but relationships with a parent-child dynamic are more often than not dysfunctional and don't work.
Author MissJoness Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 So you think my feelings are dysfunctional?
Vet Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 No, I said relationships with parent-child dynamics are dysfunctional. Your feelings are fairly common if you're talking about wanting a man that has the positive traits of a father-figure, but if you're looking for a relationship where the man is the father that tells you what to do, when to do it, and how it should be done, then I would say that will be pretty dysfunctional.
CaliGuy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 "I need a lover that won't drive me crazy...." I don't see the problem with it. If that's what makes you feel secure, go for it!
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