Bulletino Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Hi Everyone, I've had been in a long distance relationship for over 4 months, these 4 months where great! We have met each other on vacation and i where the first one who had to catch the flight. I realised in the air plane that i did not had her phone number, quite stupid! But when i came home I've send her a e-mail so everything felt together. Directly after 3 weeks she had visited me ( 1500 Miles ) for 5 days, everything where perfect and she allready started to talk like; well i can live here and such things. We've called each other every,every and seriously everyday! Then it where my turn to visited her, so i had planned to make my visitation with my birthday. The days that i where there where alsmost unreal, her parents, friends and even her grandparents where suprised and so friendly ( because they really liked me ). But the only problem was when i had visited her, i had a big fight with her best girl friend! She started to be annoying and jealous to me. For what? she don't have her on live, everything depends on my ex girl friend. Since that i've left her that girlfriend started to get her attention,making jokes and beeying anoying when maked my phone calls to my ex girlfriend ( so she where trying to make me angry ). on some kind of moment i started to feel frustrated about the whole happening, so i've sayd it a couple of times to my ex, but she where saying; no that's not true! she's not talking about on you and more of those things ( defending her girlfriend ). So i maked the most stupid mistake ( every guy does ) when she broke up with me. I started to write letters, directly starting to talk with her on msn, sending her message and more of those things. After a week she got mad on me, she said; If u had things go naturally, if u had give me a break then i had reconsiderd about the relationship again. Everyone in my friendslist are saying: She's brainwashed by her girlfriend ( so called : Best girlfriend ) and they are totally right with that. The days before she broke up with me everything where still okay and we never had any problems with each other. Here's my question: They have always said to me, her sister and she. When a relation has ended we are blocking that person on msn en remove him! But with me the still are standing online:|, so they haven't removed or deleted me. So we started to talk with each other like 2 weeks ago, she wasn't really intressted in me. So i've asked her; why are u doing this? like if ther is nothing happend between us, if i'm some kind of strainger to u! Respown: i don't have a problem to talk to u! So i decided to go offline and if wished her goodnight, directly she respown ( there wasn't any conversation for 10 min ) I'm calling with my grandfather, so that's why!:S. Quite straings i think, why would she say that to me? :S. The day after she came online when i where online, she came 4 times in 3 minutes online, perhaps to get my attention! So i started to talk again. Suprisely enough she started to be intressted in me:| so i quite the conversation just because i had to go. 4 days after, i've send her this in the middle of the night : A crying and a hugh emotion. She recieved it 5 days later around 12 pm because i saw her coming online, but my status where offline so she didn't know that i where online. Later on the day i've came online around 12.30 am, it took 30 minutes before she asked me something; What the hell did u mean with the crying and the hugh faces? So i've answerd on that; I've missed and i hate this situation. She didn't reply on that, quite straings if u ask me every moron knows what it means! Then i've started with NC. The most straingest thing; she's coming online on the most straingest times that she never did! and sometimes she's aways for 2 days and then she's back for a couple of hours, i've noticed that she had blocked me but she's also unblocking me. and one more thing; Everytime when i've asked her; How r u doing? answer: Verrrrrry good!!! And she really never did it! never before, but if u are seeying pictures from her ( on the moment ) u can see her sadness in her eyes, everyone says that. What do i have to? Thanks, Bulletino
Author Bulletino Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 Can somebody give me some answers? PLEASE!!!
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 along distance relationship is not a relationship, it is a series of fist date, where everyone only showing the best of themselves. when you fought with her friend, she saw something she did like, right or wrong. what you need to do is move on, NC so you can heal, it is going to be hard but your able to do it. good luck
Island Girl Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 along distance relationship is not a relationship, it is a series of fist date, where everyone only showing the best of themselves. Your blanket statement above is quite wrong actually.
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Your blanket statement above is quite wrong actually. you are correct with your blanket statement about my blanket statement but my blanket statement it much more correct then your blanket statement. unless you have spent a significant amount of time together (and i am not talking about a week here and a week there), I am. a long distance relationship, specially in the earlier days of the relationship, extends the infatuation period. it is not until the earlier emotional "infatuation" phase is over do you really get to know the person for who they really are; their habits, how they handle stress, their real value system. the earlier period is when people are showing their best self rather then their average self. in a long term relationship you have to be able to love the person's average self and know they will give you more of their best rather then worst self. it is a a big reason why many relationship don't work because we move to quickly into them and not spending the time for the infatuation to were off. a long distance relationship often extends that early phase. it is not to say this is every case, but in the service i have seen it to be much more true then not.
Island Girl Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 you are correct with your blanket statement about my blanket statement but my blanket statement it much more correct then your blanket statement. You made a blanket generalization about ALL LDRs and as such it was wrong. I made no blanket generalization. I said this statement is wrong: "along distance relationship is not a relationship, it is a series of fist date, where everyone only showing the best of themselves." And, as written, it still is. unless you have spent a significant amount of time together (and i am not talking about a week here and a week there), I am. a long distance relationship, specially in the earlier days of the relationship, extends the infatuation period. it is not until the earlier emotional "infatuation" phase is over do you really get to know the person for who they really are; their habits, how they handle stress, their real value system. the earlier period is when people are showing their best self rather then their average self. in a long term relationship you have to be able to love the person's average self and know they will give you more of their best rather then worst self. it is a a big reason why many relationship don't work because we move to quickly into them and not spending the time for the infatuation to were off. a long distance relationship often extends that early phase. it is not to say this is every case, but in the service i have seen it to be much more true then not. Your clarification of which LDRs you were referring to was necessary in order to make a valid point. Now that you have done that I can wholeheartedly agree that, in the above circumstances, the relationship working out is more rare than with other LDR circumstances.
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Your blanket statement above is quite wrong actually. my statement was minimally inaccurate, not "quite wrong". by using the word quite wrong your saying as follows: quite [kwahyt] –adverb 1. completely, wholly, or entirely and even if my statement was mostly wrong, and it is not, would still makes your statement a "blanket statement" now enough of this stuff back to heart break
Island Girl Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 my statement was minimally inaccurate, not "quite wrong". by using the word quite wrong your saying as follows: quite [kwahyt] –adverb 1. completely, wholly, or entirely and even if my statement was mostly wrong, and it is not, would still makes your statement a "blanket statement" now enough of this stuff back to heart break "People with brown hair have brown eyes". That sentence insinuates that I mean ALL people with brown hair. And that would make that statement INCORRECT or WRONG. Now if I say "Some people with brown hair have brown eyes" that would be different. Try and excuse it all you want. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: This is a duplicate thread - But sorry to the OP for OT and I will not reply again to this crap.
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