Life is amazing after ex, NC firmly in place, why do I feel the urge to contact her?

[Superdude87]

I'm not really sure what the point of this thread is, because I already know the answers I will receive...and trust me, I agree wholeheartedly. There is no point in contacting my ex, I know that. I don't want a relationship with her, I am honestly, 100% better without her. Well, better than with the person she turned into (a lying cheater). I loved what we had when we were together, and honestly thought she might be "the one" but she proved me wrong.

 

Things really sucked for about a month post break-up, she went back to her ex whom she claimed to despise throughout our entire 6 months together. I was crushed, betrayed, heartbroken, depressed...you name it.

 

Fast forward 2 months, here I am better than EVER. Living life for ME again, my time and money is all mine to do with whatever I please. Back in the gym after a long layoff (bad shoulder injury). Feeling healthy, happy, and getting alot of female attention from some pretty attractive specimens. Life couldn't be better!

 

For some reason I just want to shoot the ex and quick "hi...how are you?" just because. Why? I don't know! Maybe because she's just someone I have cared about in the past, and since I'm doing so good and am feeling extra friendly? Not really sure. I feel like I've gotten over the situation and am over her and more focused on my future rather than looking back on the past.

 

Can't really shake this feeling though. She attempted to contact me about 3 weeks ago, which I ignored. The last time we talked (text messages) was 2 weeks prior to that, so it's been nearly 2 months since we have spoken face to face or on the phone. 2 months since we've heard each other's voices, I guess you'd say.

 

Here is the advice I keep giving myself: You are doing FINE without her. You're happy, motivated, and optimistic about the future. You'd probably be compromising various parts of your newly found single-lifestyle by getting back together with her. Contacting her is only going to either 1) make you appear desperate and not-over-her, 2) in the rare case she wants you back, she'll have a way back into your life, or 3) get no response and look like a fool.

 

Not really sure what to do, I know there's really no benefit from contacting her, but still I want to.

[Devil Inside]

\

 

 

Here is the advice I keep giving myself: You are doing FINE without her. You're happy, motivated, and optimistic about the future. You'd probably be compromising various parts of your newly found single-lifestyle by getting back together with her. Contacting her is only going to either 1) make you appear desperate and not-over-her, 2) in the rare case she wants you back, she'll have a way back into your life, or 3) get no response and look like a fool.

.

 

 

Seems you gave yourself some good advice already. Don't contact her...there is nothing good that can come from it.

[Thaddeus]

Two months NC is good. But it's still too short a time to consider re-establishing contact, even if it's just to say hi howzitgoan.

 

There may come a time for that in the future, but I'd wait at LEAST a full year to give everyone a chance to truly heal and move on.

[Superdude87]

Ya, I don't know if me wanting to contact her is because maybe I'm not really over her, or maybe just an ego boost to see how she reacts to talking to me? I don't wanna play games, but maybe part of me wants to tread the waters to see if she's changed her mind about me, and I'd get some sort of gratification from her hurting. Kinda like, "Hey, I'm over you but now that you want me back I'm gonna tell you to **** off so you can feel some pain like you caused me".

 

I'm a sicko .

[Devil Inside]

Ya, I don't know if me wanting to contact her is because maybe I'm not really over her, or maybe just an ego boost to see how she reacts to talking to me? I don't wanna play games, but maybe part of me wants to tread the waters to see if she's changed her mind about me, and I'd get some sort of gratification from her hurting. Kinda like, "Hey, I'm over you but now that you want me back I'm gonna tell you to **** off so you can feel some pain like you caused me".

 

I'm a sicko .

 

Funny thing is...she may really hurt you when she doesn't care, or tells you about some other guy. Just don't do it...life is good...why rock the boat.

 

And if you still want to contact her...it's because you aren't 100% over her yet.

[Superdude87]

Funny thing is...she may really hurt you when she doesn't care, or tells you about some other guy. Just don't do it...life is good...why rock the boat.

 

And if you still want to contact her...it's because you aren't 100% over her yet.

 

Good call. You're right, although there IS another guy already...her ex, whom she left me for. So I've already been through the worst. As if breaking up wasn't hard enough, seeing your gf with some other dude is the "aftershock" that really cuts. It's all over and done with.

 

Just had a moment of weakness I guess. I realize that silence is more effective than anything else. Let her wonder about me. The less she knows the better, I really don't need to contact her for any reason.

[GrayClouds]

I'm not really sure what the point of this thread is, because I already know the answers I will receive...and trust me, I agree wholeheartedly. There is no point in contacting my ex, I know that. I don't want a relationship with her, I am honestly, 100% better without her. Well, better than with the person she turned into (a lying cheater). I loved what we had when we were together, and honestly thought she might be "the one" but she proved me wrong.

 

Things really sucked for about a month post break-up, she went back to her ex whom she claimed to despise throughout our entire 6 months together. I was crushed, betrayed, heartbroken, depressed...you name it.

 

Fast forward 2 months, here I am better than EVER. Living life for ME again, my time and money is all mine to do with whatever I please. Back in the gym after a long layoff (bad shoulder injury). Feeling healthy, happy, and getting alot of female attention from some pretty attractive specimens. Life couldn't be better!

 

For some reason I just want to shoot the ex and quick "hi...how are you?" just because. Why? I don't know! Maybe because she's just someone I have cared about in the past, and since I'm doing so good and am feeling extra friendly? Not really sure. I feel like I've gotten over the situation and am over her and more focused on my future rather than looking back on the past.

 

Can't really shake this feeling though. She attempted to contact me about 3 weeks ago, which I ignored. The last time we talked (text messages) was 2 weeks prior to that, so it's been nearly 2 months since we have spoken face to face or on the phone. 2 months since we've heard each other's voices, I guess you'd say.

 

Here is the advice I keep giving myself: You are doing FINE without her. You're happy, motivated, and optimistic about the future. You'd probably be compromising various parts of your newly found single-lifestyle by getting back together with her. Contacting her is only going to either 1) make you appear desperate and not-over-her, 2) in the rare case she wants you back, she'll have a way back into your life, or 3) get no response and look like a fool.

 

Not really sure what to do, I know there's really no benefit from contacting her, but still I want to.

 

doesn't look so much clearer when its out of your head and in black and white?

[scienceguy]

For some reason I just want to shoot the ex and quick "hi...how are you?" just because. Why? I don't know! Maybe because she's just someone I have cared about in the past, and since I'm doing so good and am feeling extra friendly? Not really sure. I feel like I've gotten over the situation and am over her and more focused on my future rather than looking back on the past.

 

Because you're not over it emotionally. Objectively, I'm sure you know that she is not somebody you want to be with, but your heart doesn't listen to that. Whether or not you want to admit it, I'm sure a part of you still pines for her, even if you know she's a loser. It takes a lot of time to let go of things like this (being cheated on), and on some level, maybe you haven't processed all of it. Just my speculation--based off my own experiences too.

[Peanut9330]

I would say its a little too soon to contact her... just wait give yourself more time and see how you feel about contacting her then, I’m sure if a few more months you wont be thinking about the hi how's it going call it just wont matter anymore.

[Bleed Internal]

Some details are different, but my situation is very similar to yours for the most part. Life is good, new girls, etc, but there's still the urge to contact her. I know all about it. I deal with it everyday, but I'm telling you: stay NC dude! I'm struggling to do it too, but I know it's for the best.

 

Don't believe me? Give her a call and see just how useless it is. How it doesn't change what she did and how it might even make things worse. You don't want that, right? Okay. NC it is. No exceptions.