terrih Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 My boyfriend and I work together. ( I know that this is probably my first issue) There was a new girl that was hired. She was very sweet and I adored her. Nobody knows that him and I were dating. Not even this girl. We got her involved with a internet gaming thing we do. Which was alot of fun. With this game. Their is also an instant messaging thing that you can talk to people. Well me and this girl became pretty good friends. She had known how much I liked our supervisor. Whom is the person that I am dating. She still didn't know we were together. But knew that I liked him a lot and that we were friends. She was having issues with her boyfriend. My boyfriend tends to be on the computer alot. So is she. So she would chat with him alot for about two weeks and he would do the same. Claiming to be a friend. Helping her understand what may or may not be wrong in her relationship and giving her some advice and so forth. Well I started to become quite jealous. Which was causing issues in our relationship. Told my boyfriend to back off. Because you shouldn't get involved in someone elses issues of the opposite gender. Its not smart and stuff can happen. He wasn't comprehending that. Kept telling me nothing was going to happen and that he was just trying to be a friend. Well this girl got a new haircut. My boyfriend had given her a compliment on it. We all went to a water park and he had picked her up and tried to throw her in some water. Silly stuff like that. I was getting more jealous and he still wasn't backing off no matter how much I was complaining. Well one day at work. He had taken her to the supply area to give her a hug and tell her that he liked her and that he was their for her. blah blah Well he leaned down to kiss her on the forehead and then he leaned back and she went to kiss him on the lips. (not with tongue). Then he pushed her away. Since nobody knew that we were together. He used other people as an excuse of why this should never be mentioned and why they had to get back to work. This is his story. Her story is that he leaned and kissed her on the forehead and then kissed her on the lips and then she returned kiss. That they had a heated conversation earlier on instant messaging. That when they were in the supply area. He said that he liked her and she said that she liked him. I was at my first job at this time. The same day I was tired of fighting with my boyfriend and was thinking of maybe getting the girls help with my jealousy issue. Since my boyfriend wasnt' backing away that maybe coming clean with the girl about our relationship and asking for her to back off a little to help me out. So when I got to work and talked to her in the conference room. She came clean and told me what happened at work that day. She told me her side of the story which I had explained above. The best part of this thing is that I work with both and I get to see both of them every day. My boyfriend is not exactly understanding. Its been three weeks and expects me to forgive and forget and still has flirtacious moments with her. Tells me that we need to get back to normal at work and I need to find a way to deal with it. Because everybody elses knows that something is wrong. blah blah. So I have chosen to forgive him and he still lives with me. So I too don't know how to cope and get this out of my head. How to be able to deal with them at work and to quit crying when we are in bed and I picture the two of them and etc. Does anyone have any advice?
Teslacoil Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 - How long have you and your boyfriend been together? Flirting with other people is generally more forgivable earlier in the relationship. You're less committed to each other. Unfortunately since you say you're living together, I'm guessing you two have been committed to each other for quite awhile, which means this is a large transgression. - You bring up quite often that this girl doesn't know about you. Is your relationship a secret because he's your supervisor? Are you forbidden from bringing this up at work? - It's not appropriate for your boyfriend to tell you as your SUPERVISOR that you need to "get over it" so that things can be normal at the office. That's sexual harassment territory. My advice would be to immediately tell this girl that you're in a committed relationship with this guy. If there was some reason that this had to be a secret, explain that secret to her, and tell her why you couldn't tell her earlier. Tell your boyfriend he's being a jerk for continuing to flirt with the "new girl". Probably the best way you can ruin their flirtation is to continue to be friends with this girl. If she's your friend, she'll be really pissed off that this guy duped her into flirting with him even though he's not single.
Author terrih Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 We have been together for 3 years. When I found out what happened between her and my bf. I had just told her that we were boyfriend and girlfriend for three years. That is when she had told me what happened. Yes he is also my supervisor and hers. Thank you for posting. I just wanted to respond to the questions that you had asked.
fakobako Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 nope, he doesnt have respect for you and really doesnt care. sorry to say this but he may do it again. so, go ahead and say bye bye to him before you get hurt more. im telling you this cause i know he'll do this type of behavior again. im a serial cheater and with him demanding that you forgive and forget real quickly only means that hes sorry he got caught, not sorry for what hes done to you.
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