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initial attraction


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Posted

i met a guy on saturday night, and whilst i wasn't drunk, i had been drinking a little. we talked for a while and ended up kissing, then when he walked me to the taxi rank, he told me he'd like my number so he could ask me out. i said i'd like that, gave my number and he txtd me the next day and asked me out to dinner the next night. i was pretty excited, from what i could remember, he was pretty cute and a good kisser.

 

however, when i got there, i found myself picking up on ALL his flaws. i didn't mean to, but it was like i was picking him apart in my mind. i noticed lots of good things, but lots of not so good things as well. i felt like i wasn't THAT attracted to him physically, even though he was nice and we had good conversation. i also felt a little awkward when he was putting the moves on me (arm around me, getting closer etc) - although that may be because i was unsure of whether i thought i was into him or not.

 

i guess the question i'm asking here is whether or not initial "OMG" attraction is necessary on a first date? i obviously thought he was cute enough on saturday night otherwise i wouldn't have a) kissed him or b) said yes to a date. but then it sort of went flat, and i don't know whether or not it's because my expectations were/are too high. as a background, the same sort of thing happened with my last ex - before he and i started dating, i found his personality attractive but not his looks. once we were dating and a bit further into the relationship, i realised his looks had grown on me and i thought he was really hot! is this normal? should i give this guy a chance (he really likes me...) and a few more dates even though i haven't felt an instant initial attraction to him physically? i sort of feel like i'm being really superficial but i also realise that looks DO matter.

 

sorry for the novel! :bunny:

Posted

Go for it, what have you got to lose?

Posted

i'd give it a chance, and i suppose you can go at a pace that feels right for you. but if after a few weeks that eureka moment just never comes, then it's probably time to move on.

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Posted
Go for it, what have you got to lose?

 

i sort of feel that way too, but i also am wary of the fact that i might be leading him on by doing that, and i really don't want to do that. it's a fine line i guess, and i'll have to be careful of how i act to make sure he doesn't think i'm all keen and then i just change my mind.

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Posted
i'd give it a chance, and i suppose you can go at a pace that feels right for you. but if after a few weeks that eureka moment just never comes, then it's probably time to move on.

 

yeah, that's what my mum (lol) told me too when i talked to her, and if my affection never grows and i'm still unsure, then it's probably not gonna happen. thanks :D

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