Intergalactic Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 i met a guy on saturday night, and whilst i wasn't drunk, i had been drinking a little. we talked for a while and ended up kissing, then when he walked me to the taxi rank, he told me he'd like my number so he could ask me out. i said i'd like that, gave my number and he txtd me the next day and asked me out to dinner the next night. i was pretty excited, from what i could remember, he was pretty cute and a good kisser. however, when i got there, i found myself picking up on ALL his flaws. i didn't mean to, but it was like i was picking him apart in my mind. i noticed lots of good things, but lots of not so good things as well. i felt like i wasn't THAT attracted to him physically, even though he was nice and we had good conversation. i also felt a little awkward when he was putting the moves on me (arm around me, getting closer etc) - although that may be because i was unsure of whether i thought i was into him or not. i guess the question i'm asking here is whether or not initial "OMG" attraction is necessary on a first date? i obviously thought he was cute enough on saturday night otherwise i wouldn't have a) kissed him or b) said yes to a date. but then it sort of went flat, and i don't know whether or not it's because my expectations were/are too high. as a background, the same sort of thing happened with my last ex - before he and i started dating, i found his personality attractive but not his looks. once we were dating and a bit further into the relationship, i realised his looks had grown on me and i thought he was really hot! is this normal? should i give this guy a chance (he really likes me...) and a few more dates even though i haven't felt an instant initial attraction to him physically? i sort of feel like i'm being really superficial but i also realise that looks DO matter. sorry for the novel!
runner Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 i'd give it a chance, and i suppose you can go at a pace that feels right for you. but if after a few weeks that eureka moment just never comes, then it's probably time to move on.
Author Intergalactic Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 Go for it, what have you got to lose? i sort of feel that way too, but i also am wary of the fact that i might be leading him on by doing that, and i really don't want to do that. it's a fine line i guess, and i'll have to be careful of how i act to make sure he doesn't think i'm all keen and then i just change my mind.
Author Intergalactic Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 i'd give it a chance, and i suppose you can go at a pace that feels right for you. but if after a few weeks that eureka moment just never comes, then it's probably time to move on. yeah, that's what my mum (lol) told me too when i talked to her, and if my affection never grows and i'm still unsure, then it's probably not gonna happen. thanks
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