dreamergrl Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 Also, look at how many people have 1 or 2 dates, then nothing, the person is just gone. Even after the "yeah, I'd love to do it again". At least your finding out now.
thegoodlife Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 I don't understand it either BCCA! I recently just had this happen to me from a guy. I'm the type of woman that will actively pursue a man I'm interested in. I actually prefer to be the one doing the pursuing, rather than men pursuing me. I guess my kind is rare so they're usually taken aback or think I'm joking (especially since I tend to go for chubby guys that aren't "conventionally" good looking and I am petite and very physically fit). But, once they see I'm serious it usually goes well for me. So I was really confused when a similar situation happened to me recently. I met this guy and we hit it off, started talking daily for hours on end, there were signs for both sides of interest so I took the reigns and asked if he'd like to go out sometime. Same thing, he couldn't have said 'yes of course' any faster. We made plans for a Thursday night and we spoke nightly every day up until that Thursday....then I never heard from him again. He's best friends with one of my coworkers/friend and so I see him regularly. Even if he told me he wasn't interested it would have been fine. But since he was the jackass and took the route of acting as if I don't exist, it makes things very awkward when I do see him now. He won't even look at me when he sees me now. I mean even if it was my mistake and I came on too strong, it's just a shame I can't even say 'hey what's up' when I see him around.
Author BCCA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 Im just trying to understand, not beat you up over it personally. I hope you know I was asking as a curious person, not trying to say youve done anything wrong. Im sure Ive blown off a few girls that were into me, too, its par for the course with dating. I was just trying to comprehend the rational behind it, because in the situation Im talking about - the likelyhood of seeing this girl again is very good. So, with that said, I am just shocked she acted so interested if she intended on blowing me off, and had to know wed run into eachother again. But you are right, random things like this just happen. And I know guys get numbers and dont call them, Im sure thats just as frustrating.
Author BCCA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 I don't understand it either BCCA! I recently just had this happen to me from a guy. I'm the type of woman that will actively pursue a man I'm interested in. I actually prefer to be the one doing the pursuing, rather than men pursuing me. I guess my kind is rare so they're usually taken aback or think I'm joking (especially since I tend to go for chubby guys that aren't "conventionally" good looking and I am petite and very physically fit). But, once they see I'm serious it usually goes well for me. So I was really confused when a similar situation happened to me recently. I met this guy and we hit it off, started talking daily for hours on end, there were signs for both sides of interest so I took the reigns and asked if he'd like to go out sometime. Same thing, he couldn't have said 'yes of course' any faster. We made plans for a Thursday night and we spoke nightly every day up until that Thursday....then I never heard from him again. He's best friends with one of my coworkers/friend and so I see him regularly. Even if he told me he wasn't interested it would have been fine. But since he was the jackass and took the route of acting as if I don't exist, it makes things very awkward when I do see him now. He won't even look at me when he sees me now. I mean even if it was my mistake and I came on too strong, it's just a shame I can't even say 'hey what's up' when I see him around. See thats my point, too. Wouldnt you rather make it as 'cool' as possible with the person? This 'houdini' crap that people pull just makes it infinitely worse. And youre a breath of fresh air, a woman who pursues makes guys far less confused. lol
WineCountry Posted August 13, 2009 Posted August 13, 2009 BCCA..going back to what one poster asked you about the 'type' of women you are going after. I GET that you have to find the woman attractive. We all want attractive partners. but, let me ask you something, and DONT get mad. I have never even seen you!! lol But, are you going after women that "may" be out of your league?? You keep refering to 'hot' women. Are you a six, trying to pick up tens?? Again..I dont know, im just asking you to honestly evaluate yourself. lol Next, what is the AGE group you go after? I was watching that stupid Millionare dating show. Where that lady runs this dating service for rich men. On one show she was constantly dealing with men who were like 48 and wanted 23 yr old women. She was banging her head on the wall, telling them you need to date OLDER women, it would work better for you. But, are you one of those that are hung up on wanting 21-22 year olds, even though you are 28? Not that there is a HUGE difference...no. But, perhaps looking for older 'hot' women would work more? I mean, if you can look at chicks 6 yrs younger, why not your age or a year or two older?? You may find a different attitude.
Author BCCA Posted August 13, 2009 Author Posted August 13, 2009 I dont go for women who I think are out of my league. Im not saying Ive never given it a try, but generally I try and stay right around what I think is on par with myself. I would consider myself a 7.5-8 range, and I usually date girls that I consider between 6-8. I've asked several women, including my sister in law who is brutally honest with me, to rate me, and they either agree or say higher. I also have a good job, car, my own apartment, etc...all the other stuff that probably matters just as much as looks. My ideal age range would be 25-30, but as a whole, I would probably date anyone who was at least 22, but no older than 35 (with exceptions, of course). I try and avoid girls who just turned 21 like the plague when it comes to dating, they are the last ones to think of for a committed relationship. They are just learning the ins and outs of 'one night stands', trust me, Ive been there. Several of the women I talked to who were in their 30's were among the most immature. Ive heard from a lot of people to date girls my age, but honestly, I talk to girls who I find attractive. Some are 22, some are 32, one was 19 (I immediately bailed, FYI), one was 37 and had 2 kids. Im not looking for 21 year old models by any stretch. PERFECT for me would be like 26-28. When I mean 'hot' I mean she is pretty and can turn me on by just being herself. It doesnt have to neccesarily cover her looks, but also her sexuality, the way she looks at you, her smile...the things that really make your heart skip a beat. Look, guys expect that in about 6 months, youre going to lose the make up and spuratically shave your legs (and elsewhere), dress in pj's, and put your hair in a ponytail. You just want to have someone that you think looks sexy no matter what she wears. She doesnt have to be a 10, but her - collectively - has to get you going no matter what.
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