SoulSearch_CO Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Came across this article on MSN. What do you ladies think? Would you rather guys BS'd you like this lady? Honesty is always the best policy, right? Well, sure — except when it comes to getting-to-know-you flirting sessions. Here, one of Marie Claire's dating bloggers reveals three little white lies she never gets tired of hearing from flirtatious men. By Maura Kelly The other night, I was hanging out with a new friend (who shall, for the time being, remain nameless). I'd stopped by his place because I happened to be in his neighborhood, and we hung out for a while, talking about Faulkner. Or rather he talked about Faulkner, and I listened in rapt amazement to his brilliance. But he also drank like Faulkner; I think he was a little drunk when I arrived, and he proceeded to have maybe two or three more whiskeys in my presence. So, not surprisingly, the conversation eventually became a little flirty. And — when I stood up to get myself a glass of water — my new friend said, "Wait a second ... turn around. You know what? I'm really good at this: I bet I could guess your weight within five pounds. Want to wager on it?" I declined, saying, "If you guess wrong, and too high, my self-esteem could be, like, permanently ruined." He replied, "Oh, come on. There's nothing wrong with you. You have a perfectly fantastic athletic body." Athletic!?!? He consciously chose NOT to say thin. Instead, he said athletic. Which means muscular. Which means thick. Which is as good as saying fat! Which brings me to my first point ... 1. I always want a guy to tell me I look skinny. Now, yes, I know I sound like a real anti-feminist, saying this. But it pleases me to no end when people — male and female — say things like, "My god, you're tiny!" Or, "Wow, what are you these days, a size two?" I know societal pressures have done some bad things to my body image (and to our collective body image); I won't deny that. But I do love to feel petite. 2. I always want to hear I look shockingly young. New Friend just made things worse after the "athletic body" debacle by trying to guess my age — and he got it right on the nose. Fishing for a compliment, I said, "Ah, too bad, I actually look as old as I am, huh?" He replied, "You're incredibly well-preserved for someone your age." Oh, dear. Well-preserved?! I felt like a canned sardine. Couldn't he — just to be nice — have told me I looked like I'd just gotten back from shopping for my prom dress? Couldn't he have told me my skin looked as soft and smooth as a baby's bottom? Couldn't he, at the very least, have said, "Wow, you must be getting Botox, because you look terrific!"? 3. I also don't mind it when guys say, "Now you — you I'd sleep with!" Luckily, New Friend turned things around a few minutes later. He was describing some woman in his office who drove him nuts because she thought she was the cat's meow; she'd dissed one of New Friend's male coworkers who'd asked her out. "And this woman, she's empirically attractive, I guess," New Friend said. "But she totally lacks charisma! I'd never sleep with her — and I can't imagine too many men who would." Then, gratuitously, he turned to me, and almost out of the corner of his mouth, he said, "But you? You I'd sleep with in a second. You've got the je ne c'est quoi." Now, sure, it's a little embarrassing, a little crude, when a guy says something like this. But I like to think it's also his awkward, dorky way of flirting. Of trying to say, as directly as he can without downright asking for it, that he thinks you're hot. Call me crazy, but I find it kind of endearing. The lady telling the story sounds like she kind of has low self-esteem. Where the heck did she get athletic=fat??? I'd be damn proud if a guy said I had a great athletic body - it shows he acknowledged my work. But I'd only really like to hear, "Wow, you're looking skinny!" when I've actually DONE something to get that kind of reaction. Otherwise, I know they're blowing sunshine and I don't like that. As for age - that's something I'll never understand. I'll always be honest about my age and would rather everyone else was, as well. It's such a lame thing to lie about. I asked a guy to guess my age and he said it was a "no win" situation for him. LOL! No, it's not - I expect an honest answer, I don't want you to kiss my ass. I guess this also leads into a question - if you ask your guy, "Do I look fat in this?" Would you prefer he lie to you to soothe your ego and end up going out looking like a fat ass? IMO, when I asked my SO if something looked good/bad on me - I wanted the truth! I didn't want to go out wearing something that made me look bad.
dreamergrl Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Nope, no lies for me. Honesty is the way to go!
D-Lish Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I remember after my divorce I got shockingly skinny. I was down to 105lbs at 5'7". I managed to put on 10 lbs after that and ran into a guy I hadn't seen since being so skinny. He hugged me and said "wow, you look great- and healthy!" I immediately equated the word "healthy" with big, round, buxom, fat.... Stupid I know. I do have a warped body image stemming from puberty when I developed boobs and hips at the age of 10. Boys made fun of me and I have always carried that around with me. I admit that I like those 3 little white lies - and yes, it would placate some of my insecurities:o
Birdy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Little white lies every man should tell me: 1) You are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in person. Including when you've just woken up in the morning. 2) You're the best lay I've ever had. Your p*ssy is so tight and tastes/smells like heaven. I want to savor it all day for the rest of my life. 3) You are the wittiest and most charming woman I've ever had the pleasure of interacting with. 4) You smell like an English rose garden even when you've been sweating all day. 5) You have a voice like an angel. 6) I love petite arses, and yours makes me want to penetrate it every hour of every day. 7) You're everything I've ever prayed for in a woman and never knew existed. Good thing is, every one of these things I've had some man tell me at some point in the last three years. I'm feeling pretty OK about myself today. Please don't bring me down.
Birdy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I guess this also leads into a question - if you ask your guy, "Do I look fat in this?" Would you prefer he lie to you to soothe your ego and end up going out looking like a fat ass? IMO, when I asked my SO if something looked good/bad on me - I wanted the truth! I didn't want to go out wearing something that made me look bad. "Does this dress make me look fat?" "No, honey, your fat arse makes you look fat."
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 "Does this dress make me look fat?" "No, honey, your fat arse makes you look fat." True, dat. LOL
Trialbyfire Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I guess this also leads into a question - if you ask your guy, "Do I look fat in this?" Would you prefer he lie to you to soothe your ego and end up going out looking like a fat ass? IMO, when I asked my SO if something looked good/bad on me - I wanted the truth! I didn't want to go out wearing something that made me look bad.I wouldn't buy a dress that made me look fat and if for some strange reason I had gained a ton of weight to be fat, I wouldn't be asking that question! I will admit to asking assorted SOs "What do you think?", when I think I look good. Yes, yes, thy name is vanity! So no, I don't want my man to lie to me. If you've got nothing good to say, just shut up.
boogieboy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Little white lies every man should tell me: 1) You are the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in person. Including when you've just woken up in the morning. 2) You're the best lay I've ever had. Your p*ssy is so tight and tastes/smells like heaven. I want to savor it all day for the rest of my life. 3) You are the wittiest and most charming woman I've ever had the pleasure of interacting with. 4) You smell like an English rose garden even when you've been sweating all day. 5) You have a voice like an angel. 6) I love petite arses, and yours makes me want to penetrate it every hour of every day. 7) You're everything I've ever prayed for in a woman and never knew existed. Good thing is, every one of these things I've had some man tell me at some point in the last three years. I'm feeling pretty OK about myself today. Please don't bring me down. Taking notes (scribble scribble) , women love shameless lies. Their shame overshadows yours...CHECK! I wont sleep at night, but she will smile. Im not much of a complimenter, so lying on top of compliments is going to be rough.
collegekid491 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Lol I hate talking about these things. Growing up with 2 sisters, who proclaimed they wanted honesty, at least admitted to me that sometimes being honest is gonna get you snapped at. In the girls I associate with I can recognize when they want an honest opinion and when they are digging for a compliment. But with the case's of 'do I look fat?' and its her time... if I don't feel like sleeping on the couch because her hormones are gonna punish me for the remainder of their stay, call me a fibber!
Citizen Erased Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I don't like being lied to, I can't trust people that aren't honest with me. And I'm never stupid enough to ask if I look good in anything. If I do, I damn well know it. Plus my arse is too small to be fat so I'm good.
Trialbyfire Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Some of my pet peeves have come up in this thread. Don't tell me that I'm the best [insert sexual action]. I'm me, not someone in a line of lovers. I don't want to be the best fcvk you ever had because I'm the only fcvk you're having now!
carhill Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 if you ask your guy, "Do I look fat in this?" Would you prefer he lie to you to soothe your ego and end up going out looking like a fat ass? Asked and answered many times...... "You are beautiful" and "Now, do you want my opinion of the clothes?"
boogieboy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I always do this gag: Her: "Do I look fat in this?" me: Ask me again? Her: "Do I look fat in this?" me: Ask me again? Her: "Do I look fat in this?" me: Ask me again? Her: "I hate you!" she usually gives up by this point.
carhill Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 LOL, or nails you in the balls, which is what my wife would've done...
Author SoulSearch_CO Posted August 12, 2009 Author Posted August 12, 2009 Asked and answered many times...... "You are beautiful" and "Now, do you want my opinion of the clothes?" HAHAHA...awesome.
D-Lish Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 LOL, or nails you in the balls, which is what my wife would've done... Hey, I've gotten good over the years- well you are covering up, anticipating the ball attack, I go for the roundhouse to the face:D:lmao:
carhill Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 While the salesperson opines "I see you'll need more time to decide"
c-riouz Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 That dumb b**** who wrote the article must have lost her fu.cking mind. And her brain too. I can't believe MSN even printed that stuff, what a shame. That article was even worse than "National Enquirer" level. Not only does she talk about some extremely dumb stuff (athletic != fat), but she also pretends to be cosmopolitan and miserably fails. It's "je ne sais quoi", she probably didn't even finish high school. I probably won't read MSN again if they let dumb people like her write their articles.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 It is clear when someone is not being truthful, regardless of how light of a shade the lie is - and if someone believes it knowing full well it isn't true then well.. I would have to say that they are some shade of delusional. I only qualify for the 'shockingly young' part. I don't look my age at all, and I do tend to alarm people with my age. Not always in a good way either.
Jersey Shortie Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Insincerity is worse then not saying anything at all. Not in agreement with the article. While I don't think brutal honesty is acceptable, don't placate me either. Be a geninue person and compliment me based on things you really do like about me.
Birdy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Taking notes (scribble scribble) , women love shameless lies. Their shame overshadows yours...CHECK! I wont sleep at night, but she will smile. Im not much of a complimenter, so lying on top of compliments is going to be rough. Well, I mean, don't go telling her she looks ravishingly thin if she's pushing 250... no one's gonna buy that... But a little exaggeration never hurt nobody If I'm wearing a pleasing perfume, tell me it makes you want to eat me. If I just got home from the facialist, tell me I look 15 if I look a day. If I just freshly dyed my hair (I'm a redhead), tell me I'm the spitting image of Jessica Rabbit and can you be my Roger. Get my drift?
Cinnamon Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I would like to hear these 3 little lies from my man. Are there any 3 little white lies every woman should tell to her man?
boogieboy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I would like to hear these 3 little lies from my man. Are there any 3 little white lies every woman should tell to her man? No, because men deal in logic, and lying for the sake of a good feeling goes against that.
boogieboy Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Well, I mean, don't go telling her she looks ravishingly thin if she's pushing 250... no one's gonna buy that... But a little exaggeration never hurt nobody If I'm wearing a pleasing perfume, tell me it makes you want to eat me. If I just got home from the facialist, tell me I look 15 if I look a day. If I just freshly dyed my hair (I'm a redhead), tell me I'm the spitting image of Jessica Rabbit and can you be my Roger. Get my drift? Ah, fun exaggerations, got it (scribble, scribble)
2sure Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 1. You look hot when you use power tools. (Especially when you know he doesnt know which end is which) 2. Wow. You're like a GPS. (Used under a variety of circumstances) 3. He was nice, but you know, nothing compared to YOU. (on the occasions when it must be acknowledged you did not live in a convent before you met him.)
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