hew Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 :(Okay so .... im probably the most sensitive person IN THIS WORLD. not a word of a lie on that one. people can say anything and i get all offened. im hearing stuff about me lately and i cant take it. i feel like EVERYONE hates me. i know i still have my GREAT friends and your advice will most likely be : focus on the peopel you have and the positive in your life and peoples words cant do anything to hurt you. but i wanna know something else. like this one guy hates me because someone was on my msn saying stuff to him and i didnt " take over" and he got my ex to go on his msn and be a jerk to me. and i hear my ex AFTER 4 MOTNHS saying im rude have no life etc etc ETC. i cried twice today. school is in a month and i wannt drama if you can even call it drama to stop. and not to mention my best " friend" hated my ex when we dated and made it so difficult on me and now there all buddy buddy. and doesnt stick up for me when he talks trash about me. i have other freinds now its all good. but we still talk. but its SOOOO frustrating. I dont know what to do / how to make it stop. i dont have my ex on msn facebook anything nor his freinds that were making fun of me. i honestly feel like such a let down. i never feel good enough and im so insecure. i need major adivce please
moo Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Hi. Sorry you are having a rough time. I am extremely sensitive too. People always say, "just be yourself. if you want to say something, just say it." But I try to walk a mid line between standing up for myself and not being too sensitive because so many things bother me. It's hard and I stumble. I was very insecure in my relationship. My ex used to get on me for being insecure and clingy. but after he left me, I realize that his actions really brought a lot of that out of me. I know I'm responsible for my own actions, but I was seeing a man who only saw me about once every 5 weeks, never emailed me, never snail mailed me and constantly put things in front of me. His excuse, was that he has lost his apt. and his car. I tried to understand, but he used that as an excuse for everything in the relationship. Time after time I saw him put other people and even things ahead of me. He never try with us and never tried to make me feel special. Never gave me anything in a year except two e-cards. I realize now that if he had been more giving, and more nuturing, I wouldn't have felt so insecure and alone. But he is not willing to look at himself. He solved our relationship problems by jumping into another relationship while he was still dating me. That was his solutions, after I waited a year for him to get himself together. I was so down, in a black hole...worse pain of my life...down so far, I had to force myself back up. I started to make steps to having a fuller life...got pen pals from all over the world, took up a hobby, and after months of eating unhealthy, started to eat healthier, and sought therapy. I'm a little more secure with myself and I know that next time when I date, I need to have a more rounded life and not depend so much on him. I also know that if the guy makes me feel like crap, and his actions really bring out my insecurities, that either we work on the relationship, or I go. My ex refused couple's counseling twice. It's about having a balance. You need to have a fuller life to feel more secure, but also someone who takes the time for you so you don't feel so insecure.
utterer of lies Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 :(Okay so .... im probably the most sensitive person IN THIS WORLD. not a word of a lie on that one. people can say anything and i get all offened. im hearing stuff about me lately and i cant take it. i feel like EVERYONE hates me. i know i still have my GREAT friends and your advice will most likely be : focus on the peopel you have and the positive in your life and peoples words cant do anything to hurt you. but i wanna know something else. like this one guy hates me because someone was on my msn saying stuff to him and i didnt " take over" and he got my ex to go on his msn and be a jerk to me. and i hear my ex AFTER 4 MOTNHS saying im rude have no life etc etc ETC. i cried twice today. school is in a month and i wannt drama if you can even call it drama to stop. and not to mention my best " friend" hated my ex when we dated and made it so difficult on me and now there all buddy buddy. and doesnt stick up for me when he talks trash about me. i have other freinds now its all good. but we still talk. but its SOOOO frustrating. I dont know what to do / how to make it stop. i dont have my ex on msn facebook anything nor his freinds that were making fun of me. i honestly feel like such a let down. i never feel good enough and im so insecure. i need major adivce please Grow up. Stop being a victim, or people will treat you like one.
Thaddeus Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 Grow up. Stop being a victim, or people will treat you like one.wow thanks ? your rudeI would have put it a little differently than UoL, but the basic premise is the same. I've been there, in spades. I was KING of self-victimization, especially after the death of my first wife. ("Why does this sort of sh*t always happen to me? Why does the universe have it out for me? What's wrong with me that things always go badly for me?" etc etc.) It took the support of loving but insistent friends and a therapist to help break me out of that self-victim cycle. Hey, if I can do it...
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