What DO men look for in a woman?

[moffy]

I've heard the same answers a hundred times from guys. To sum up, they like a girlfriend to be 'a lady in public, a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom'. The qualities they look for: intellect, a good conversationalist, a good sense of humour, modesty, unselfishness, loyalty, kindness, low maintenance, sincere, dependable, understanding, non-materialistic, confident and optimistic... as well as such others.

 

So why is it that the women I know who have such qualities find it difficult to keep a man?

 

Instead, one quality seems to rule above all others, yet it's rarely mentioned: independence.

 

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

So if any man on here has been in such a relationship, please tell me, what was it that drew you to such a woman in the first place? What qualities attracted you to her? What made you stay in the relationship for as long as you did? And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

[Sam Spade]

First, that list is way too long, but most of it resembles my current gf very closely. I can assure you that she will have no trouble "keeping me" if she continues to exhibit these qualities. While I look for independence, as far as my expectations are concerned, it merely means that she has some sort of life of her own and she's able to make her own money. the more - the merrier, but that said I would never go for the high-powered type you describe. (Too much work for nothing.)

[Thaddeus]

They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong.

Clearly, those women are going after weak men to get an ego boost and free dinners. I know the type, the ones who go on and on and on about how 'strong and independent' they are, but aren't that at all; they're just bitchy. Why any self-respecting man would put up with crap like that is completely beyond me.

And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

For me personally, it's a relatively short list.

 

• She must be physically attractive to me
  
• Financially astute (doesn't mean she has to be rich, but she DOES have to know that shopping isn't therapy and spending thousands on shoes won't make her life any more complete)
  
• Able to distance herself emotionally when arguing - no over-the-top emotional drama, thankyewverymuch
  
• Keeps her PMS to herself
  
• Can carry on an intelligent conversation on a number of topics from physics to cooking
  
• Neat - nothing's more off-putting for me than to be invited into a woman's apartment/house and the place is a pig sty
  
• Likes to travel off the beaten track
  
• Respects and appreciates me
  
• Knows when to speak and knows when to stay quiet
  
• Sexually confident, experienced and willing to initiate often
  

Oh, and a boat. Gotta own a boat.

[carhill]

What DO men look for in a woman?

 

My list is short:

 

Emotional stability

 

 

From that, everything else of value to me flows

[Lizzie60]

I think men are looking for the same thing women are looking for in men..

 

Intelligence, good sense of humour, good hygiene, nice personality, attractiveness...

 

I think we're possibly looking for what we are.. someone who has similar qualities that we have..

[You'reasian]

I've heard the same answers a hundred times from guys. To sum up, they like a girlfriend to be 'a lady in public, a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom'. The qualities they look for: intellect, a good conversationalist, a good sense of humour, modesty, unselfishness, loyalty, kindness, low maintenance, sincere, dependable, understanding, non-materialistic, confident and optimistic... as well as such others.

 

So why is it that the women I know who have such qualities find it difficult to keep a man?

 

Relationships are more than just qualities between people. Its about a connection.

 

To add to it, I don't have a laundry list of qualities I desire in a woman. I see where she's at and try to appreciate her good qualities. We've all got bad ones - if she tries to improve, even better.

 

Instead, one quality seems to rule above all others, yet it's rarely mentioned: independence.

 

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

So if any man on here has been in such a relationship, please tell me, what was it that drew you to such a woman in the first place? What qualities attracted you to her? What made you stay in the relationship for as long as you did? And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

 

I wouldn't put up with that kind of treatment from a gf. We'd be emotionally incompatible.

[Soul Bear]

A connection.....

That's all...

 

 

And yes, a connection from both sides, which obviously wont come without the underlying factors such as personality,looks etc etc

[Soul Bear]

LOL

both posting about a connection at the same time

[RedDevil66]

Clearly, those women are going after weak men to get an ego boost and free dinners. I know the type, the ones who go on and on and on about how 'strong and independent' they are, but aren't that at all; they're just bitchy. Why any self-respecting man would put up with crap like that is completely beyond me.For me personally, it's a relatively short list.

 

• She must be physically attractive to me
  
• Financially astute (doesn't mean she has to be rich, but she DOES have to know that shopping isn't therapy and spending thousands on shoes won't make her life any more complete)
  
• Able to distance herself emotionally when arguing - no over-the-top emotional drama, thankyewverymuch
  
• Keeps her PMS to herself
  
• Can carry on an intelligent conversation on a number of topics from physics to cooking
  
• Neat - nothing's more off-putting for me than to be invited into a woman's apartment/house and the place is a pig sty
  
• Likes to travel off the beaten track
  
• Respects and appreciates me
  
• Knows when to speak and knows when to stay quiet
  
• Sexually confident, experienced and willing to initiate often
  

Oh, and a boat. Gotta own a boat.

 

oh look, someone wants a robot! ;-)

 

I know when to speak and when to be quiet. When I have PMS, that's when I know when you speak and when to keep him quiet

 

lol

[You'reasian]

A connection.....

That's all...

 

 

And yes, a connection from both sides, which obviously wont come without the underlying factors such as personality,looks etc etc

 

Of course. I'm looking at the forest, rather than the trees. lol

[boogieboy]

So if any man on here has been in such a relationship, please tell me, what was it that drew you to such a woman in the first place? What qualities attracted you to her? What made you stay in the relationship for as long as you did? And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

 

Many guys get lucky to get the woman they are with, because they have no game. They were just in the right place at the right time. So they stay with these women because they think they cant do any better. If you dont think you have choices, you deal with it.

[Chicago_Guy]

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

I wouldn't tolerate a woman who treated me like that, and I think that most self-respecting men wouldn't either. There's nothing more annoying than a bossy and complaining woman who expects the man to pay for everything.

[collegekid491]

'a lady in public, a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom'

 

That about sums it up lol.

 

Truthfully though, she's gotta have a bit of everything. Considerate, but can voice her mind, nice, but a little naughty, independent, but still allows me to help, Isn't high maintenance, but will let me spoil her, smart, but can have dumb fun... I think you get the picture lol

 

And for the 2nd part, boogie said it

[BCCA]

The qualities they look for: intellect, a good conversationalist, a good sense of humour, modesty, unselfishness, loyalty, kindness, low maintenance, sincere, dependable, understanding, non-materialistic, confident and optimistic... as well as such others

 

Its really so much simpler than that.

 

If youre good looking, and whatever 'flaws' you have dont outweigh your looks in that mans eyes, youre golden. I dont think any man honestly expects unselfishness or low maintenance from a 8-10, but as you go down the scale, say 5-7, these secondary traits become more meaningful.

 

I might take flak for saying this, but looks really do matter a whole lot when it comes to dating. You can be all those traits you listed about x100, and if I didnt think you were hot, I wouldnt want to date you.

 

So why is it that the women I know who have such qualities find it difficult to keep a man?

 

See above. Men have the same issues, and usually its because what they think they should be able to get, and what they can actually get, dont end up being the same thing. Either they try and date up, and the woman says no thanks, or they feel they are dating down, and leave for greener pastures.

 

Instead, one quality seems to rule above all others, yet it's rarely mentioned: independence

 

Independence is a broad, sweeping, statement. I dont think anyone would want to date someone who clung to their side 24/7, but at the same time, you wouldnt want someone on the complete opposite side of that spectrum, either. A balance somewhere in the middle is always neccesary.

 

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

These are the women who sleep with pool boys, and hire mobsters to knock of their husband for insurance money. The have broken these guys self esteem down so badly that they feel worthless. They complain to their mates, because they are affraid to stand up to their wives, but need to get it off their chest.

 

So if any man on here has been in such a relationship, please tell me, what was it that drew you to such a woman in the first place? What qualities attracted you to her? What made you stay in the relationship for as long as you did? And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

 

I look for a woman who I can feel good about saying she is my gf. She doesnt have to be a model, but just balanced well enough that I feel like shes a catch worth keeping. I'll admit its shallow, but at least Im honest. She has to at least accept everything about me, and hopefully like a lot of it, just have similar goals, views, and be easy to talk to. Men really are simple creatures: be pretty, be nice, like similar stuff. Easy as that

[utterer of lies]

The qualities they look for: intellect, a good conversationalist, a good sense of humour, modesty, unselfishness, loyalty, kindness, low maintenance, sincere, dependable, understanding, non-materialistic, confident and optimistic... as well as such others.

 

Wrong.

 

Modest? No thank you, I don't want a boring grey mouse.

Unselfish? No thank you, I want someone with a sense of self-worth.

Low maintenance? Depends on the girl, but usually, the girls I'm interested in are not.

Non-materialistic? No thank you, I hate hippies and deluded idealists.

Optimistic? Maybe, but cynical women have the better humor.

 

Your list looks like some teenagers fairy-tale fantasy.

 

So why is it that the women I know who have such qualities find it difficult to keep a man?

 

Because it's a teenagers fairy-tale fantasy

 

 

 

Instead, one quality seems to rule above all others, yet it's rarely mentioned: independence.

 

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

No one wants a clingy girl with no life of her own. You state those things in a very bad light, but a gentleman DOES pay for everything, and I rather have a girl who is open and honest and tells me if she doesn't like something than someone who just silently accepts, 'because i'm happy when you are happy' - bleh.

 

The running and too busy part is optional, it's for doormat-kind of guys.

 

So if any man on here has been in such a relationship, please tell me, what was it that drew you to such a woman in the first place? What qualities attracted you to her? What made you stay in the relationship for as long as you did? And what qualities do you really look for in a woman?

 

http://www.heartless-bitches.com has some good articles about the qualities that are desirable and undesirable in partners.

[Jersey Shortie]

Knows when to speak and knows when to stay quiet

 

A trait that you yourself has yet to master.

[monkey00]

 

The women who do seem to be able to keep a boyfriend rarely have time for one. They make their boyfriends do all the running, constantly say they're too busy to see them, make their boyfriend pay for everything, and scold them like a child for doing the slightest thing wrong. As a result, these guys spend a lot of time with their mates complaining about their girlfriends.

 

I understand what you're saying here, but I think you might be generalizing too much. I know individuals who are in this kind of relationship, but the guy doesn't complain (albeit they are kind of whipped). Also you have to keep in mind that if you keep the girl happy, then the relationship won't go sideways (as in the girl won't look elsewhere at other guys). Seriously who wants to be in a relationship where you're constantly disappointed all the time?

 

However I also know of relationships where there is an equal balance where both take turns to do the running around for their mate.

 

Anyway my point is a relationship should have equal balance from both parties - that's what my perspective is. But even so if there is an unbalance in the relationship such as a controlling/dominant woman and an effeminate man, if they are happy and are happy with their roles without taking each other for granted - I don't see anything wrong with that.

[Thaddeus]

A trait that you yourself has yet to master.

OK, fair enough. We're all works in progress, right?

[Jersey Shortie]

Absolutely.

[utterer of lies]

OK, fair enough. We're all works in progress, right?

 

Speak for yourself, I'm perfect.

[Els]

Knows when to speak and knows when to stay quiet

 

 

Wait, are we talking about the ideal wife or the ideal daughter here?

[You'reasian]

I think men are looking for the same thing women are looking for in men..

 

Intelligence, good sense of humour, good hygiene, nice personality, attractiveness...

 

I think we're possibly looking for what we are.. someone who has similar qualities that we have..

 

Amen to that, Lizzie

[Thaddeus]

Speak for yourself, I'm perfect.

Well, that makes two of you: you and my mother. Just ask her!

[utterer of lies]

Well, that makes two of you: you and my mother. Just ask her!

 

:lmao:

[Peaceandlove]

[*]Keeps her PMS to herself

[*]Knows when to speak and knows when to stay quiet

 

WTF?! I can't decide which of these two 'desirable attributes' is more ridiculous