Jersey Shortie Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Just started thinking about this because of another thread. Does your partner know about your internet activity? The certain websites you visit to communicate to other people? The things you say? The things you do? The pictures you might share? Do you think they would be okay with the things you do online and how you relate to other members of the opposite sex or in all honesty, do you think it would bother them a little to discover some of the things you do and say online? I am not in a relationship right now so I can't really answer it and I am more known to be the anti-thesis of flirting. Just curious! Cause when porn threads come up people seem to think porn is okay because it's just an imagine of a person. However, when it gets to talking to real people, it seems to change the opinions of people. This is not meant to be a porn thread. Just wondering where people draw the line on their everyday relating to people online of the other gender.
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 My wife doesn't know exactly about my internet activity but that is only because she doesn't snoop and we have separate computers. I also don't know her internet activity. When I post on LS from home she is either in the house or sitting besides me on the couch She knows I post on a relationship forum and to be honest we have never discussed which one even though it is on my screen at home .. A few weeks ago I got my haircut from my stylist.. someone I'm pretty good friends with and has cut my hair for years.. I got out my Garmin from my car and showed her the same pictures I have shown here. I also have some of those pictures up in my office at work for anyone to see and have shown them to many people including some strangers as they were part of the group being shown the Garmin. I also have forwarded those same pictures to friends and family in email and they then forward them off.. So no worries about the pictures. Flirting.. well I wouldn't go too far online.. ever.. respecting my wife is the utmost thing I think about when talking about her or our sex lives.. which by the way I try to not talk too much about my past or present on here because of showing her the respect she deserves.. As far as what I have posted.. she wouldn't be surprised or even shocked.. I think being part of LS or a forum such as this cannot be compared to cheating on your spouse or the same as looking at porn and if someone thinks so then I think they could use some body to talk to about their issue...
Vet Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yes, my wife and I both know what we do online. We check our email in front of each other; mainly because there's a media PC hooked up to the TV in our bedroom, not because of any need to. We have each other's passwords for everything for sake of convenience ("Hey, I'm out and expecting something, can you check my email?") We both have exes on our Facebook accounts. We trust each other completely, so there's no need to check up on every message sent, photo posted, and thing read. I wouldn't bat my eye to find out that an ex or man emailed her though because there's that element of trust and a desire to keep that above all else. As a result, this is the healthiest relationship I have ever had.
tanbark813 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I have to admit I chuckled a little at the thread title. I'd say I know a good portion of my gf's internet activity, but not all of it, and vice versa. I definitely minimize, or eliminate, online flirting when in a relationship and I've never really seen her post anything that was overtly flirtatious. Actually, of all the girls I've been with, I'd say her views of what are and aren't okay within a relationship most closely match my own.
2sure Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 My H knows I frequent an on line relationship forum. I have frequently questioned myself as to whether I am adhering to complete transparency in our relationship because he does not know which forum and has not read my posts. We have , however, communicated about this and since it is anonymous and a great form of communication for me, a way to express myself, get advice, an outlet, etc...he has said its ok with him to give me this. Still, I have to admit that I feel I have not always used the amount of discretion I should. For the most part that includes sharing pictures of myself with a few posters I like a lot. Somehow, it made me feel more sincere and valid to do so. As to flirting on line - no. I wont do that.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Interesting persepective from everyone! Flirting.. well I wouldn't go too far online.. ever.. respecting my wife is the utmost thing I think about when talking about her or our sex lives.. which by the way I try to not talk too much about my past or present on here because of showing her the respect she deserves.. That's really awesome.
bean1 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Hmm good question. I don't know. We have our own computers but occasionally use each other's (mine is slow & crappy but it's a laptop, and his is a fast gaming desktop computer). Maybe he knows? I certainly don't flirt online or anything like that so I have nothing to hide. Reading on here really helped me navigate and understand the early stages of our relationship (and any bumps) so if he didn't like, phooey
Thaddeus Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 so if he didn't like, phooey Really? Your access to LS is more important than your relationship with your man??
bean1 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Really? Your access to LS is more important than your relationship with your man?? Yes, I'll walk out of our home with our child never to be seen again if he restricts my banter on LS about porn and nice guys
Ruby Slippers Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I have always been open about my Internet activities, and as far as I know, my guys have been, too. In fact, kind of funny: I first came to this forum when I was having problems with my last boyfriend. I told him about some of the stuff I'd been reading, and got more vocal about my doubts and concerns. More than once, he said, "I think you need to stop reading that forum." He didn't like the fact that I was putting my foot down about problems in the relationship, so he blamed it on LoveShack.
c-riouz Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Just started thinking about this because of another thread. Does your partner know about your internet activity? All the time, because we're online most of the time together, on different computers. The certain websites you visit to communicate to other people? Yeah. I have like...10 websites/forums that I visit regularly, and he knows all of them, can read what I write there and talk to me about it. I wouldn't say anything online that I wouldn't own in real life, so there's no need for me to be secretive about it. The things you say? Yeah. The things you do? Yeah. I don't "do" anything online except reading (the internet is like one huge library to me ) and talking to people via forums (okay, a library with a coffee shop then) or people in my instant messenging lists. Oh, and of course some necessary things like online shopping every now and then. The pictures you might share? I value my anonymity and don't share any pictures online except with people I know, and only via permission on those sites like facebook or myspace. Do you think they would be okay with the things you do online and how you relate to other members of the opposite sex or in all honesty, do you think it would bother them a little to discover some of the things you do and say online? I guess he would be okay with it since he is the only one I am intimate with, all other conversations are mostly superficial or general topics. I am more known to be the anti-thesis of flirting. So am I. Just curious! Cause when porn threads come up people seem to think porn is okay because it's just an imagine of a person. However, when it gets to talking to real people, it seems to change the opinions of people. This is not meant to be a porn thread. Just wondering where people draw the line on their everyday relating to people online of the other gender. I draw the line at intentionally making new friends, especially female ones vs. already having known them before our relationship time, which is okay. I am particularly not okay with it because I believe that men, or should I say, most men, cannot be "just friends" with girls or women unless they've already been friends before or she is the girlfriend of a common friend. Otherwise when men make new friends, it's usually always with the thought of banging her or being attracted to her in some other way. Even some threads here confirm it. That's why I don't trust men when they make new female friends while they are in relationships, to me it either means they are looking for a way out of the relationship and are interested in other females, or that they might become attracted to the new friend down the road in due time, since men are more easily influenced by their sex drives, and are not as picky. Yeah, that was alot stereotyping, but most men would fu.ck anything that moves, so a NEW female aquaintance means no good in my book. Yes, I'm jealous and insecure, so what. Everybody is insecure about SOMETHING, and THAT is my insecurity that I wish to be respected.
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 That's really awesome. I think for the most part the married or men in relationships do the same on LS.. Although there have been a few slip ups and after I posted it I'm like "damn".. then I go back to edit it and it's too late.. But those times are few.. hopefully... I'm always aware that even though LS is anonymous that our posts last a lifetime.
c-riouz Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I told him about some of the stuff I'd been reading, and got more vocal about my doubts and concerns. More than once, he said, "I think you need to stop reading that forum." Same here. Loveshack's made me jaded in some aspects, but I'm getting over that.
Vet Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I think for the most part the married or men in relationships do the same on LS.. Although there have been a few slip ups and after I posted it I'm like "damn".. then I go back to edit it and it's too late.. But those times are few.. hopefully... I'm always aware that even though LS is anonymous that our posts last a lifetime. Well, until a hard drive crash and we lose the database again.
You'reasian Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Does my sig other know about my internet activities? Probably not all of them because she is not standing above my shoulder and probably not using a key logger on my account - not to mention I don't have a sig other... However, most of my gf's have known that I've looked at porn and usually they laugh. Most of my gf's know that I significantly reduce looking at it when we are together - because she can get me off just fine and damn good too!!
Author Jersey Shortie Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Thanks but this thread isn't about porn, as stated in the OP. Please address the correct subject.
AlektraClementine Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 My fiance knows I post on a relationship forum. He pays no mind to it. He's not the type to post on a place like loveshack. He's busier posting on the Panther's forums or on forums within his industry. He also looks at the Casual Encounters section of craigslist. I'm aware of this as he sends me funny ads all the time. I look at Missed Connections and he knows this. We also have each other's passwords for the same reason stated before. I need for him to get into my email account sometimes. Although this post is not about porn, I should also point out that we know about each other's porn activity. We don't delete internet history and we share links there as well.
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