steelfist9 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Most of us on here are a mess, grieving and crying. I know I have been. The question is if your ex came to you and said they wanted to get back together, would you get back with them? This is a hard question to answer because it's tough to know what you would really do when put in a situation. Think through it, though. My ex always had a way of luring me back to her. I would be the one breaking up with her for things that she did, but she always knew how to get me back. I always said that I would try to work things out, but after the way I have been hurt, I'm not sure that I would get back with her. It's taken me way too long to get over this( I haven't gotten over it yet) and I don't want to ever have to go through this pain again and I know she would put me through it again.
llala Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 No I wouldnt. But I would love for my ex to come crawling back.
Author steelfist9 Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 I want my ex back really bad, but the problem is that she has character issues that I'm not sure she will ever fix. So, even though I want her back, I don't think I should get back with her. I'd love her to crawl back to me, also. It would give me some power back and would make me feel good to tell her no and see her suffer as I have been.
Thornton Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Nope, I wouldn't take my ex back. I realised that the guy I wanted back was the guy I thought he was, not the guy he really was. I thought he was decent and loving, and that's the guy I wanted, not the lying cheating lowlife he later showed himself to be. So in essence I was in love with a guy who never existed except in my own mind. The guy he turned out to be is not someone I'd ever want to be with; I just regret being taken in so completely by him.
Thaddeus Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 The only missing person in my life that I'd really, really like back is my first wife. But she died, so that's not about to happen. As for the rest of them, all I wish well with the exception of two, and those cheating manipulators can go stuff themselves.
Palmer253 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 No I wouldnt. But I would love for my ex to come crawling back. Haha, that is a nice feeling. Although I miss a few of my ex's I know that we broke up for a reason and if we ever got back together it still wouldn't be right. The only one I'd like to get back with is my most recent one but we were only together for like a month then for no reason what so ever (so she says) she broke it off. I was really into her and really thought if would of been great. Now I would like one more night with all my ex's though.
moo Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 The way he is now....NO WAY. If he admitted what he did to me and what he put me through, apologized, got DEEP therapy, seriously, seriously wanted to change and maybe even went on medication to stop his impulsivity, then maybe....maybe. Other than that...NO.
trueblue72ny Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 if my ex gf wanted to reconcile i probably would IF it was sincere. why? because i still like her. last time we spoke she says she wants to be friends and hang out once in awhile. now that is tricky because i dont want to become that guy, like just another girlfriend to her with a set of balls, as nightlord coined the phrase.
CaliGuy Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Honestly, right now I don't think I would. If given the opportunity I'd rather try someone new than an "old shoe..."
CaliGuy Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 The only missing person in my life that I'd really, really like back is my first wife. But she died, so that's not about to happen. As for the rest of them, all I wish well with the exception of two, and those cheating manipulators can go stuff themselves. I'm sorry for your loss, Thaddeus....
Exit Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I don't want her back if she's still the same person. She would have to have changed a whole heck of a lot, which isn't likely to happen.
bella16 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yes, I honestly can say that I would take him back. We have been only been together 5 months...this month would make it 6. Neither of us did anything wrong to eachother or hurt one another and that is why I am still holding on. We broke up over something stupid. We texted eachother too much in our relationship and we'd take what was said sometimes the wrong way. I was a little impatient at times and he felt I was not happy with him. And in reality I was more than happy w/ him. I fell in love with him and I am still in love with him, my feelings have not changed a bit. He is older than me...he's 30 and I'm 23. He is the first guy I ever dated that I met online. I took a shot not knowing what was gonna happen and he ended up being all I've been looking for and more. We have a lot in common and we love the same things. We broke up a month ago, and didn't really keep in touch at all. I was a mess, literally I don't think I ever hurt that much in my life...not even in my 4 year relationship I was in about 2 years ago. I decided one day lastweek to send him a nice long email just giving my side of things (not asking for him back) since I didn't get that chance to when he ended things and told him to think about all I have said. He contacted me after he read it and he asked to meet up this past friday night, so I said yes. We had a nice night together catching up. We both agreed not to get right back in a relationship right away. So we are going to see eachother next week when he gets back from vacation. He told me lastnight on the phone that he's going to keep in touch while hes away (which I wasn't expecting), and I told him he should just enjoy himself and not worry about me, but he wants to so I cannot argue with that. So we are going to see how things go. Sorry for the long explanation... but YEAH I will definately get back together with my ex when the time comes.
Excellent Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Honestly, i don't know. I've realized that my ex has major issues of her own that needs sorting out. She knows this, but only uses it to get sympathy, and does not really show a desire to get help for it. She would really have to show me that she has changed. Wich i don't think is going to happen anytime soon, and i'm not waiting around to find out. As i still work with her, i can tell that she is still as oblivious to her own selfishness as before. The girl i fell in love with is all but dead to me. And it IS painfull to watch.
gypsi Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 i would take her back in a heartbeat, these last 6 months without her has just made me realize how much i loved her i feel so empty without her its the worst feeling in the world to have. But i know she wont take me back EVER....kills me.
lupa Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I...just...don't...know. I don't know. I dunno. I'm not even divorced yet, but it didn't end in an terrible crash and burn, it was that stupid "time and space" thing and I reacted terribly because I felt so betrayed. Would I? I'm in the middle of rekindling an old flame that I've had for years...I'm still married, but this other woman popped back up right when everything went down. I don't know how to answer that. I'd probably recommend counseling, while still staying apart, but i don't know. I stuggle with this every day.
Darren09 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I would take her back because i havent moved on. Realisticly it would be stupid of me but my heart wants her so much argghhh
HappyAgain Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 No I wouldnt. But I would love for my ex to come crawling back. Ditto!! Take that using dirtbag again - no way.
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 As much as I would like to say yes, I'll have to go with 'no'. The more time that passes, the more miserable I realized I was. He'll never change, so therefore, for my own sanity and well being - no.
NightLord1 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 On this latest one I find myself going through I would say yes I would. We were only together six weeks and that just isn't enough time to get to know someone and I do believe that if she came back around and wanted another shot at it that it could work out. In the past however I always declined every time they came back. I wanted to try for something new because I knew what I was going to expect with them when they came back because I had already gotten to know them.
Lizzie60 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Nope.. it's over.. we have moved on.. I am friend with both my 'exes'... they are good people... but I never even thought about getting back with them..
Ingenue Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 No, I would not reconcile. The relationship is in the past, as is my ex. The distance and time has illustrated to me the type of person he is and that is not the type of person that I want in my life. I don't even have any desire to be friends with my ex. My ex did in fact come fishing. He never outright said he wanted to reconcile, but he was fishing for information.
mickleb Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 It hasn't been two weeks yet and he left because he realised his finances are shot to pieces and he needs to sort his life and his head out. He's, basically, having a mid-life crisis. I would suggest we start again by just dating, I think, although it's not that simple. In reality, I think it'll probably take him years to get his self-esteem together and I have no option but to carry on with my life without him. We adored each other but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. And this girl's gotta let him.
bluejeanbebe Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 to answer the question: my heart says: YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES! my head says: NONONONONONONONONONONONO! after 3 years together, it's now been one month and 6 days. does the hurt EVER go away? I just would like a relationship where my head and my heart can be on the same page, thankyouverymuch.
SCooke Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I don't know. I love her still, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never really showed her how much I loved her when we were together and I regret that everyday still. I think we could be really great together. We have the same values, I dig what she wants to do with her life and can be supportive of that, and i know she can be supportive and appreciate what I want to do too. But, too much has happened since our breakup. I know I've lost her trust, and I'm not sure she could ever love me the way she did before. So, I wouldn't want her to be in a relationship where she's not completely comfortable and happy. And I wouldn't want to always be doubting her love for me, and feel insecure in the relationship. I don't know. I think it would take a long time to make a second chance work, maybe years from now it could work. I think we can be friends for the forseable future. I don't know if I can handle having her be completly out of my life.
Peanut9330 Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 No, Never!! I know that he will never change, and there is nothing he can do to take away the pain caused by his actions. If I took him back I would only be hurting myself, and I know I deserve better.
Recommended Posts