SO nervous

August 14, 2009

i really think you should forget about any of the two guys. even you can't figure out what the hell you want. but for the life of me,i can't figure out why your ex would be pizzed about your bf calling you a whore! i mean did he lie? geez,man tells the truth and people get upset at him.

Wow...the woman cheated with ONE guy and she is a WHORE? Are you guys for real? A WHORE is someone who is PROMISCUOUS ( casual sex with a number of men) usually for money...you guys are despicable!

OP dump your worthless BF for calling you that....and if the child is his, bleed him for child support.

Ok...so maybe not...after all he will still be your kid's father...and you do not want to do that to your child....

August 14, 2009

I swear to god, Chrome..is their EVER a thread where you can just get your FACTS, right? Jesus....and I thought I do not have a good grasp of the English language!

And he just goes on and on without even apologizing...sheesh...

OHNOES, did I understand you right? your EX would stay even if the baby is his or not? wow....he must really love you...

Yes, let the BF go....even if he is the father of the baby, you do not love him...at least, not enough to be with him in a committed way.....

Yeah. my ex did say that he doesn't care if the baby is his or not he wants to be with me and take care of me. My boyfriend said that if the baby isn't his he does not want to stay with me, and again I don't blame him really. I think I just need to leave my BF and be with my ex. It sucks that it had to end this way, but I can't be unhappy forever.

August 14, 2009

Yeah. my ex did say that he doesn't care if the baby is his or not he wants to be with me and take care of me. My boyfriend said that if the baby isn't his he does not want to stay with me, and again I don't blame him really. I think I just need to leave my BF and be with my ex. It sucks that it had to end this way, but I can't be unhappy forever.

Oh tami, where in my post did I mispelled any of my words. So if your reading my post. Your doing it wrong! lol. again. jump off.

Next lady. Dont blame your boyfriend You took away something that was wonderful and gave it away to another man, basically the same man who didnt want you in the past that supposedly wants you now. How long you think that's gonna last? You really think with the added presure of instant parenthood, diapers, baby formula, and clothing and other expendetures. You really think he's in it for the long run? He didnt want you then, what makes you think he wants you now? WTF?

Secondly you destroyed your boyfriend emotionally; He has every freaking right to be angry if I was stuck with some half-wit twit as my girlfriend I would be royally steamed for her stupidity. Let's be real you wanted out but you didnt have the heart to tell him, you emotioally distanced yourself from him, hoping that there was an easier way to end it. next your ex conviently falls into your lap and you happen to have sex with him, without a condom? (Oh hey did you get and STD test yet?)

Next your boyfriend has to face the fact that his girlfriend basically slutted around on him with a man she still has feelings for, this same man dumped her before hand a long time ago, let me guess he was young and it was a mistake , he wansnt serious then? And when mutual friends see you out in the street all preggo and ask wow I didnt know whoyamacallit got you pregnant congrats. It might not be his??? 4 years WTF?

And you say your unhappy??? WTF what you think your BF's feeling that his girlfriend STBX is pregnant and guess what he may not be the father! A KID THAT HE MIGHT HAVE WANTED!!!! A KID HE PROBABLY WANTED TO HAVE!

Yeah lady. He's the aggresor. He's the bane of your existance, the man who held you back who made you unhappy for all those 4 years.

Give me a break. Your just another carbon copy of a woman who is basically whoring herself out trying to find happiness on the tip of the OM's di*k. YOU CANNOT SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS BY SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE ELSE! YOU ONLY MAKE THEM WORSE, Hello Mcfly! *knock knock.

I dont feel sorry for you, you made this situation and what makes it even worse is your not be clear on what you want, your not being resolute have you told your family yet, has he told his family, have the ex? a baby aint no damn joke! Your boyfriend is probably gonna be happy after he leaves,granted if he's not the father. He dodged a bullet...Not you.

I really do hope you and your ex have a nice long prosperous life. Hey life is too short right?

Oh and P.S tami, whether she cheated once or twice she's still wrong because of it. You cant defend something which has no defense in reality.

I'm sorry for being so harsh. I'm just keeping it real...

August 14, 2009

LOL...Chrome..facts....I am talking about facts...you contended that her EX called her names..when in FACT it was her BF...not talking about misspelling...JESUS H. CHRIST!!!..You are so fact-challenged!!!

and who ever said what she did was right? of course she was wrong...but apparently, she is still loved, so don't hate her for that. Nobody wants to leave her....get it? One wants to stay if the baby is his, the other wants to stay whether the baby is his or not.

Let me borrow something from you--"don't hate":laugh:

August 14, 2009

LOL...Chrome..facts....I am talking about facts...you contended that her EX called her names..when in FACT it was her BF...not talking about misspelling...JESUS H. CHRIST!!!..You are so fact-challenged!!!

and who ever said what she did was right? of course she was wrong...but apparently, she is still loved, so don't hate her for that. Nobody wants to leave her....get it? One wants to stay if the baby is his, the other wants to stay whether the baby is his or not.

Let me borrow something from you--"don't hate":laugh:

OH MF F-ING God your harping me over one small detail!!! The smallest thing!!! Of course the boyfriend called her names, what he's gonna do sit around a campfire and sing kumbyaa??? WTF?

So that's just it. The ends justifies the means in this case. As long as she's loved? IT's cool that she just destroyed her boyfriend in the process. and created a life outta it. A very uncertain life at that. Not to say that the kid will be blaimed, but the whole situation is just messed up and all she can do is worry about her own skin. selfish...

Also why are you giving her tips basically calling her boyfriend the devil and forcing him to pay child support and basically like hurting him the process. to add insult on top of injury could be very disasterous! For everyone involved. A cornered fox is more dangerous than a wounded jackal.

Who knows if it's evern his baby!

I hope it isnt his baby, he's better off!

August 14, 2009

LOL....I called the BF the DEVIL? where did I say that? Stop lying...Chrome...you lie to make your point. You always have. This is not even the second or third time....You do not stick to facts because you think you are JUSTIFIED to add to (or tweak) the story to make your point. Get real.

August 14, 2009

OP dump your worthless BF for calling you that....and if the child is his, bleed him for child support.

Ok...so maybe not...after all he will still be your kid's father...and you do not want to do that to your child....

Well maybe not the devil but these are YOUR words, right?

The boyfriend is worthless? Why because he just found out his girlfriend who he probably really cares about and loves basically had unprotected sex with her ex, who she hasnt seen in over 4 years! and got pregnant and DOESNT know who the father is?

And he's worthless???

Please tami, again... please jump off. You got to make people accountable for their actions. There's no remorse coming from her words. no sense of I'm sorry. and you defend someone so quick to damage another human being your words is to bleed him dry of child support!!!

WHEN HE'S THE ****ING VICTIM!?!?!

SERIOUSLY AM i NOT SEEING THIS OR DOES THIS WOMAN TAMI HAVE A SCREW LOOSE!

As far as I'm concerned she shouldnt get any child support! let there be 50/50 custody and have the kid physically with both parents on alternating weekends.

Your setting a bad presencidence with bad advice tami. You have no idea what it means to relate to others pain. or give empathy where it's truly needed.

Yeah I'm not sticking to the facts? Am I sticking to them now? Good!

August 14, 2009

oh please......you deliberately missed the last sentence of the post ( which is of course...very vintage chrome barracuda ) where I said the opposite. Again, cheaters are not the only liars...apparently people like you do, too...shamelessly, at that!

By the way, what is this word ----->presencidence, did you mean precedence? 'Not trying to correct you(far be it for me to do so), just want to make sure I understood you correctly.

August 14, 2009

At this point your main worry shouldn't be which guy you are going to end up with. Your main worry should be the immaturity you still have and the dependence you have on other people. You need to worry about this new baby that is going to come into this world. You need to worry about how you are going to support this baby fiancially, physically and emotionally. You have to STOP worry about yourself and start worrying about this gift that was given to you.

How old are you? Are you in school, are you working? What is the situation like with your family?

I think you need to take a step back and look at the big picture here.

August 14, 2009

At this point your main worry shouldn't be which guy you are going to end up with. Your main worry should be the immaturity you still have and the dependence you have on other people. You need to worry about this new baby that is going to come into this world. You need to worry about how you are going to support this baby fiancially, physically and emotionally. You have to STOP worry about yourself and start worrying about this gift that was given to you.

How old are you? Are you in school, are you working? What is the situation like with your family?

I think you need to take a step back and look at the big picture here.

I am 26, already graduated college. I work full time and live on my own.

August 14, 2009

In an ideal world, your BF shouldn't have called you what he called you. But look at it from his perspective, and I'd say his reaction was certainly understandable. Not polite or tasteful or "nice", of course... but then again what was done to him wasn't polite, tasteful or "nice", either. Quite the opposite end of the scale, in fact. As per Isaac Newton, "to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." There's no reason at all to hold your BF to a higher standard of behaviour than that of the behaviour on your part that provoked his anger.

And no, Tami, her BF is not worthless. He's angry, devastated, heartbroken and hurt... at the hands of somebody he put his trust in for four years. I'd have been surprised if he DIDN'T lash out verbally. OP, if the foetus is his and you decide to carry it to term, then he is responsible for child support. But do the poor bastard a good turn, and don't try to "soak him" for everything he's worth. Get what's fair and reasonable, no more. And don't be stingy with letting him see the kid, either. He's done nothing up to this point to deserve either punishment or massive legal bills. He didn't create this godawful shytty mess. You did. The LEAST you can do, whether the foetus is his or not, is make it as easy and painless as possible in the circumstances for him to get on with his life.

And, this is the last time I'll ask this here, but why not an abortion?

It's your decision obviously, but the circumstances are pretty far from ideal. Imagine how great it'll be one day to have a baby with somebody you're actually in a committed relationship with, who you love and respect completely, and with whom there isn't a shadow of deception and betrayal hanging over everything.

Just my $0.02.

August 15, 2009

In an ideal world, your BF shouldn't have called you what he called you. But look at it from his perspective, and I'd say his reaction was certainly understandable. Not polite or tasteful or "nice", of course... but then again what was done to him wasn't polite, tasteful or "nice", either. Quite the opposite end of the scale, in fact. As per Isaac Newton, "to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." There's no reason at all to hold your BF to a higher standard of behaviour than that of the behaviour on your part that provoked his anger.

So what you are saying is, if you were done wrong, it is normal to do the exact thing or similar to that person? it would be acceptable/forgivable? That would not be considered "stooping to that person's level" would it?

And no, Tami, her BF is not worthless. He's angry, devastated, heartbroken and hurt... at the hands of somebody he put his trust in for four years. I'd have been surprised if he DIDN'T lash out verbally.

Oh ok...so he is not worthless...sorry, OP. However, while it is understandable why he reacted that way ( although his choice of words will NEVER be acceptable in my world)..what's the other posters' excuse? Nothing. Just plain being evil.

August 15, 2009

Tami, why do you always excuse the cheater for bad behavior but if the bs acts out in anger you make it seem like they should never be excused. The bf is a victim and he can act however he wants, his gf was acting like a whore and got pregnant by another man. Now she is trying to figure out what works best for her and screw everybody else.

I can never get why you are so quick to forgive the cheater but always want to condemn the bs straight to hell

August 15, 2009

lkjh, what is your excuse for using such foul langage?

August 15, 2009

Ohnoes, I was in a longterm relationship when I got pregnant with my first child. Unfortunately I was kind of wild at the time and had had sex with another man. I didn't know what to do. I thought the baby was my SO's but could not be sure. I cried, and reluctantly got an appointment for abortion. But then I decided to spill the beans to my SO, and he promised me he would step up and consider the child his whether it was or not.

I went full term and got a beautiful baby girl. It took almost a year to get the fathership established. Never did my SO show any signs of not caring for the baby because of her uncertain origin. Luckily it turned out in the end that the baby was his.

My baby girl is an adult woman now.

I wish you my best.

August 16, 2009

Tami, why do you always excuse the cheater for bad behavior but if the bs acts out in anger you make it seem like they should never be excused. The bf is a victim and he can act however he wants, his gf was acting like a whore and got pregnant by another man. Now she is trying to figure out what works best for her and screw everybody else.

I can never get why you are so quick to forgive the cheater but always want to condemn the bs straight to hell

How did I excuse the cheater? by telling her she was wrong? that she it's better to let her bf go because she's not committed to him?

Ikjh, I go to the cheater's defense not because of their acts but because of the attacks that they get from people like you. Where did you get the "victim" can act however he wants? what country are you from? Only someone like you whose life and self-worth apparently depends on another person believes that. If you have any pride and dignity, you will not debase yourself by using such foul and crude language. It is ok to cry, to be angry but not ok to be violent to another or use derogatory or foul language. But then again, maybe it is how you talk amongst where you come from <shrug>

August 16, 2009

Jennie-jennie,

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck you can call it a duck.

Tami,

you are so full of it. You always try to blame the bs and you always excuse the cheater because you can relate to them. You can try to pretend like you are taking the higher road but your are not. You are trying to protect the cheater actions not their feelings. You are ready to hang the bf for calling her a bad name but you think her actions are ok and find

August 16, 2009

Jennie-jennie,
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and looks like a duck you can call it a duck.

Really? so you are calling her a whore? why is that? do you actually know if she had casual sex with several men and was paid for it?

you are so full of it. You always try to blame the bs and you always excuse the cheater because you can relate to them. You can try to pretend like you are taking the higher road but your are not. You are trying to protect the cheater actions not their feelings. You are ready to hang the bf for calling her a bad name but you think her actions are ok and find

I see, so this is a thinly veiled attempt to ACTUALLY call me out...LOL!!!! I do not need to pretend. I know why I had an affair. My H knows why I cheated. A marriage vow is a commitment of the heart. I did not break any vows. Get a hold of yourself, your anger toward me is overflowing. I can't PROTECT anyone on this board...Maybe you believe you can ( apparently, you are superman and can read people's mind , since even when I said her actions were wrong, you insist I said it was "ok and fine"...you sure you are NOT chrome barracuda?).

August 16, 2009

Wow is there any thread you don't argue on Tami

Ohnoes - I think you already get that what you did was wrong. Now you have to decide what you are going to do about it.

This is a big life changing experience which will bring its up and downs. I don't think you need the added complications of deciding which man you should be with at this time. After all you've already said you don't think you are in love with your current BF and lets face it your ex is an ex for a reason.....why go back there?

I haven't seen you mention family on your posts. Are you able to confide in your mum or someone close to you? I think you need to talk and confide in someone other than these two men.

I hope you learn from all this and good luck

August 16, 2009

Really? so you are calling her a whore? why is that? do you actually know if she had casual sex with several men and was paid for it?

Actually a definition of whore is "3 : a venal or unscrupulous person". I'm sure thats what the boyfriend was referring to.

August 16, 2009

Actually a definition of whore is "3 : a venal or unscrupulous person". I'm sure thats what the boyfriend was referring to.

Oh it's the TERTIARY definition of whore......and you know the boyfriend was referring to that because.......???????? please, you are reaching....

Let me reach, too..I don't think in EXTREME EMOTIONAL DISTRESS the BF and others here who are personally offended by OP's actions are able to process the word whore as somebody "venal or unscrupulous". I think we all know what they meant by it and it is not the above. It is only when challenged that people take a closer look and come up with a lame tertiary meaning.

Nice try, though !

August 17, 2009

Tami, do you just try to fight with everyone on here? Give your advice and let others do the same. If you don't like there's then oh well. This part will surprise, I wasn't trying to call you out. I was simply saying that you are a cheaters and that is why you defend cheaters.

August 17, 2009

Tami, do you just try to fight with everyone on here? Give your advice and let others do the same. If you don't like there's then oh well. This part will surprise, I wasn't trying to call you out. I was simply saying that you are a cheaters and that is why you defend cheaters.

No, actually. But I believe YOU replied to my post that had nothing to do with you and I responded to that. So go figure. And you "SIMPLY saying that I am cheater and that is why I defend cheater" is that not an opening to an argument? That statement is inflammatory and is not a fact and therefore is open for debate. If you do not want debate or someone to respond to that, do not make careless, baseless, idiotic statements like that.

August 17, 2009

I was simply saying that you are a cheaters and that is why you defend cheaters.

Btw Ikjh, just to make sure we understand each other. You said I should just give my advice and that's that, right?....how is the above statement an advice to OP? :rolleyes:! You are too silly for words.

August 17, 2009

Hey ohnoes----IMHO, I think you need to step away from both of these males. Your present BF, I am sure doesn't trust you and probably is only still around to see if child is his. Your ex--is slime, he knew you were in a relationship, and he still knocked you up, knowing it would wreck your present relationship, plus you couldn't make it with him the 1st time around. He is toxic to your life. You get one go around on this planet, and if you don't do the best you can for yourself then shame on you. You need to dump both of these guys, step back have your baby, bring it up by yourself, take your time find a good partner to love and grow old with, and stick with him, by doing everything the right way.

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