OHNOES Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I cheated 2 weeks ago on my boyfriend of 4 years, with an ex that I used to see off and on before me and said boyfriend got together. Ex contacted me and I cheated on my boyfriend.... unprotected and now my period is LATE. I don't know what to do.. what if I am pregnant? ANyone ever been in this situation.. or have any comments? I need advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 I have a comment. Karma's a bitch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OHNOES Posted August 11, 2009 Author Share Posted August 11, 2009 I have a comment. Karma's a bitch. And so are you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
theBrokenMuse Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 What do you do? Well, quite simply, get a pregnancy test and dump your boyfriend regardless of the outcome. If you are pregnant, it's downright cruel to keep him around and have him struggle with this for as long as the two of you remain together. If you are not you should still let him go because, quite frankly, sleeping around without protection is a self-destructive behavior in this day and age. Want to gamble with your own life? That is your business but you have no right to drag anyone else into this sexual Russian-roulette game unknowingly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Impudent Oyster Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 And so are you? When you have UNPROTECTED SEX while cheating, well, pregnancy is always a possibility. Why don't you go out and buy a pregnancy test? I hope the boyfriend you cheated on doesn't get any diseases. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Tell your BF the truth, first and foremost. Firstly, whether you're pregnant or not, he deserves to know who he's in a relationship with, and make decisions about his life armed with all the information. Secondly, if you are pregnant, he does not deserve to be saddled with a legal responsibility that may not even be his. There's a name for that: "paternity fraud". Either way, if you don't come clean you're continuing to take massive liberties with his life and his health. You're making decisions about his life that you have no right to make. And if you continue to do so, frankly, you're slime. Doing the right thing isn't going to be easy, no doubt about that. But unfortunately, you've already gotten the easy part (the cheating). Now you have to clean up the mess. I hope you do the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Can I ask why you cheated on your current boyfriend with your ex? You're in a real bind here and the only way out, the fair and honest thing to do is, tell your boyfriend the truth. He deserves to know and decide if he wants to stay with you or break up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 OP, One, verify you are pregnant. Modern EPTs are VERY accurate. Two...depending upon your age, you need to sit down with both men(?) and tell them you are pregnant and you are UNSURE who the father is. It could be your bf or your xbf - you wont know until you have a paternity test done. Condoms are NOT foolproof...so either is potentially the father and they BOTH deserve to know. Three, have yourself tested for STD's. You then need to tell your family and friends to begin building your support network. You WILL need their support. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 there's really not much advice needed. tell your bf that you cheated,have him get tested for std's(yea i know,he's clean blah blah) and frankly he deserves better. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted August 11, 2009 Share Posted August 11, 2009 Let your BF go. He deserves better. Don't chain him down with a cheater and someone else' kid. Unless you tell him everything (whether your preggers or not) and he wants to keep you (I don't know why he would, you'll only do it again if given the opportunity) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 What would you like to happen? Say that the baby is a false alarm... would you still see ex B? How would you deal with a wayward boyfriend? Does your present boyfriend mean nothing to you now? Details, girl, details! Link to post Share on other sites
utterer of lies Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 I cheated 2 weeks ago on my boyfriend of 4 years, with an ex that I used to see off and on before me and said boyfriend got together. Ex contacted me and I cheated on my boyfriend.... unprotected and now my period is LATE. I don't know what to do.. what if I am pregnant? ANyone ever been in this situation.. or have any comments? I need advise. Abortion party time! Or, if he doesn't look too different from your bf, have unprotected sex with your bf and chill....Around 10% of all children born in the west are not from the guy who thinks he's the father. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OHNOES Posted August 12, 2009 Author Share Posted August 12, 2009 Well, I took a test... and I am pregnant. I told my boyfriend and the ex... and we are going to sit and discuss it tonight. I do not think my boyfriend will stay with me and I don't blame him. It is more likely that it is my ex's than my boyfriends because me and my boyfriends sex life is almost non existant.. but I guess I won't know for sure for another 9 months... Thanks for the feedback.. I still don't know what to do besides what Ihave done which is come clean and figure it out from there. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 12, 2009 Share Posted August 12, 2009 Is abortion out of the question? A paternity test can be done before the baby is born. Why wait till then? Better to get that determined now, so you'll know from the get-go which of the potential fathers is liable for child support. In the midst of everything else, you did the right thing. A lot of the advice given on this board to those who have strayed boils down to "put on your big boy/big girl pants and own your shyt". Sounds like you're doing that. Far better than deceiving your BF and deciding his life's path for him. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I agree. Paternity tests can be done as early as 10 weeks into the pregnancy. Ask your OB about CVS or Amnio(after 14 weeks). These tests like any invasive procedure have risks and can be expensive and usually not covered by insurance since they are not "medically" necessary. I know a couple in a similar circumstance. The BF forgave the GF, in fact married her and adopted the kid...ahhhh love Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 If this man is smart he'll leave her... No one wants be duped into parenthood! what kind of crap is that? Also she should have never cheated in the first place. WTF was she thinking and without a condom??? AIDS, hep c??? hello! And now she'll be stuck with an ex boyfriend who treated her like garbage who wont step his game up to take care of her and her baby. Wow just screwed up. I hope the boyfriend does leave. He can forgive but why would he stay?? Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Wow just screwed up. I hope the boyfriend does leave. He can forgive but why would he stay?? Well, I certainly wouldn't, if I were him. But that's just me. At least now he has all the information, and the decision isn't going to be made for him. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, I certainly wouldn't, if I were him. But that's just me. At least now he has all the information, and the decision isn't going to be made for him. Wow Reservoir, you are one forgiving person. Don't know if I'd be so forgiving. GF cheats with my buddy, then gets preg. I'm thinking, bah by. Love the avatar. Gene is the man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author OHNOES Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Is abortion out of the question? A paternity test can be done before the baby is born. Why wait till then? Better to get that determined now, so you'll know from the get-go which of the potential fathers is liable for child support. In the midst of everything else, you did the right thing. A lot of the advice given on this board to those who have strayed boils down to "put on your big boy/big girl pants and own your shyt". Sounds like you're doing that. Far better than deceiving your BF and deciding his life's path for him. Good luck... Well, last night was interesting.. sitting there with my boyfriend and ex.. ackward, really. I dug my grave and I shall lay. Anyway it wasn't great, at one point I thought my ex was going to beat the **** out of my boyfriend (He was calling me a whore and was pretty upset and I guess it upset my ex..?) My boyfriend decided that he does want to find out if the baby is his before the baby is born. He said he will stay with me if it is his, but then I have my ex saying he wants to be with me either way. I love my boyfriend but I'm not so sure I am in love with him. I never got over my ex and I can only assume thats what came over me. Otherwise, I have never cheated on someone in my life. Anyway, now I guess I have to figure out which man is the father of my baby and go from there? I almost feel like I'd rather be with my ex but who knows if that will even work out? Maybe I will just leave my boyfriend and stop seeing my ex and just be alone for a while. And indeed my boyfriend deserves better, he deserves someone who is in love with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Wow Reservoir, you are one forgiving person. Don't know if I'd be so forgiving. GF cheats with my buddy, then gets preg. I'm thinking, bah by. Actually, my reply may have been a bit mis-worded -- I was saying that I certainly wouldn't forgive, or stay. I'd be out of there. I wouldn't want to be in a long-term relationship that's been dealt a crippling blow like that. A relationship can be hard enough without the shadow of something like that hanging over it. To me, this would be one of those times when it'd be best to cut my losses. Again though, that's just me. What the BF does now is totally his decision, and he's making it with the benefit of full disclosure. Love the avatar. Gene is the man. I think he seems like a bit of a douchebag in terms of his personality... but the band's a lot of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 WTF the ex treats you like a whore and you basically let him dog you out in front of your boyfriend??? and you still want to go back with him, because your not "over" him. Lady you are F-ed up in the head. and you need help. Hopefully your boyfriend can come to his senses after the paternity test and leave you. He's a peon for staying as well. but love is blind, deaf and dumb at times. You need to do the right thing. just because your ex turn you on, dont make him a better partner for you and your unborn child. When are you gonna start thinking of yourself and your future?! your still worried about this ex who doesnt love you. He just wipes his sack with you and leaves you high and dry. Wow , where's the self respect? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author OHNOES Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 WTF the ex treats you like a whore and you basically let him dog you out in front of your boyfriend??? and you still want to go back with him, because your not "over" him. Lady you are F-ed up in the head. and you need help. Hopefully your boyfriend can come to his senses after the paternity test and leave you. He's a peon for staying as well. but love is blind, deaf and dumb at times. You need to do the right thing. just because your ex turn you on, dont make him a better partner for you and your unborn child. When are you gonna start thinking of yourself and your future?! your still worried about this ex who doesnt love you. He just wipes his sack with you and leaves you high and dry. Wow , where's the self respect? No, my boyfriend called me a whore.. and my ex was defending me. Thanks for your support! :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 No, my boyfriend called me a whore.. and my ex was defending me. Thanks for your support! :/ Well. he's in definition right. What you did was pretty whorish. Being in a relationship while sleeping with someone else, unprotected? WTF. you know what let's see if your ex will support you and your kid, why dont you just leave your boyfriend altogether. He was royally pissed as well as he should be why would you singlehandedly invite the man who you had sex with for a sitdown in front of your current boyfriend. And then have your ex defend you, when he's in the wrong as well as you!!! WTF??? Is your ex gonna step up or are you gonna have to do it yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 i really think you should forget about any of the two guys. even you can't figure out what the hell you want. but for the life of me,i can't figure out why your ex would be pizzed about your bf calling you a whore! i mean did he lie? geez,man tells the truth and people get upset at him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I swear to god, Chrome..is their EVER a thread where you can just get your FACTS, right? Jesus....and I thought I do not have a good grasp of the English language! And he just goes on and on without even apologizing...sheesh... OHNOES, did I understand you right? your EX would stay even if the baby is his or not? wow....he must really love you... Yes, let the BF go....even if he is the father of the baby, you do not love him...at least, not enough to be with him in a committed way..... Link to post Share on other sites
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