broken_promises Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I have been doing really well with the breakup but STILL can get fixated on how great my ex is doing now, what he is doing, who he is with, etc. In the beginning of the breakup, I found information about him going hiking, rock climbing, to the beach, to dinner, kayaking, etc. with old friends from high school that he recently found on FB (including an ex-g/f and his current interest in a - not kidding - 7th grade crush.) So, I know all these plans were in the works for things that he NEVER did with me, expressed interest in, etc. I am also finding myself increasingly angry that we never traveled, hiked, took weekends away, etc. because he was a workaholic and a commitment phobe. I know I've written about all of this here a few times... but HOW DO I GET THESE THOUGHTS TO STOP CREEPING IN?! I've been doing things that I like to do myself - planning upcoming travel plans, going hiking, planning to skydive in the fall, etc. Things I've wanted to do for a long time. I try to refocus my thoughts when these creep in about how great his life must be now. But still, sometimes they just won't get out of my head. Anyone overcome this kind of thing?
huck Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Hi BP.. Im sure you've read the general advice given on here to people after a break up. Join a gym, get a hobby, hook up with old friends, keep yourself busy etc etc etc. This is probably what your ex is doing.. He might be hurting buts hes keeping himself busy. You should do the same. At the end of the day you have zero control over what he does and thinks.. I fealt the same after I broke with my ex - but I made damn sure that I had no way of finding out what she was up to and cut all possible contact.. And eventually those feelings went.. I couldnt care less now - my life got better - i got more active and I'm seeing someone new whos lovely.. Good Luck...
Author broken_promises Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Thanks Huck... it is always helpful to know that people DO make it to the other side of all of this! I am keeping extremely busy, so that is not the problem. And after that bout of looking and seeing what he was up to, I have FORCED myself not to look so that I don't have to know. Knowing is far, far worse than fighting the urge to find out what he is up to. I think it is just the thoughts always feel so uncontrollable when they sneak in. I guess I'm trying to find a way to block them out or redirect my thoughts from them. Obviously, the goal will be not to care at all eventually and not even have them pop up in the first place!
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