Asterus1992 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Hello, I'm new here. I've been lurking for a while, and I decided to finally make an account. I could really use some help. My ex and I have a lot of unresolved feelings for each other, and I'm not quite sure where to go with this. From here on, I'll refer to her as M. I met M about 2 years ago, introduced to her by one of her friends. I quickly fell in with their whole circle of friends, though I was hesitant at first because I was so shy. As the months went by, I started talking to them more. They began to understand who I was a little, and it brought me closer to all of them. M and I were talking one night. It must have been more like early morning; we had gotten into the habit of talking all night and sleeping all day. Anyway, she asked me if I liked anyone. In my delirium, I told her that I had a bit of a crush on her. She told me she liked me too. From there, we started hanging out more. We didn't start dating until about 6 months later. It was a passionate relationship, though short-lived. We broke up about 3 months later because she had been flaking on me and hadn't returned ny of my calls in a few weeks. About 2 months later, we began fooling around again. We never got back together, but we would hang out like a couple. We would cuddle up on the couch and watch movies, hold hands, make out. It was all good and fun. Then I found out she had a girlfriend. They had been dating since before she met me, and she had left her out of all conversation because she loved us both, and didn't know what to do. I broke. I cut her off, and she moved out of town soon after because of financial troubles. Months went by, and we seldom spoke. When we did, it ended badly, with both of us ignoring the other again. Just a week ago, almost a year after she moved away, she called me and told me she loved me. She said, even if I refused to talk to her ever again, she had to clear the air between us. She apologized at least a thousand times within that conversation and told me she loved me twice as many times. She also mentioned that she was still dating the same girl... Reluctantly at first, I forgave her. As much as I didn't want to, I did understand why she did what she did. We had quite a reunion a few days later, full of smiles and laughter and flirting. We parted at the train station with a kiss, a long hug, and teary-eyed goodbyes. That kiss tore me up. I knew she had a girlfriend of 2 years, but I still wanted her back. And for that moment, it was as if she had never gone away at all. Now, I'm left torn about what to do next. She wants to kiss and be close, even if we aren't dating. Her girlfriend lives far away, and they have an "open relationship" so there would be no guilt. But I can't bring myself to settle for second. Is it wrong of me to want her to be mine? I don't know what to do. Should tell her how I feel? Tell her I want her to be only with me? I don't know when, but somewhere along the way, I've fallen in love with M. And I know that she's fallen in love with me. I just don't know how to make her mine... /xoxo
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Well, she has to make a choice. Either it's all or none. Considering that's what you say you want. So you have to lay down the law on this one or keep getting your heart jerked around. If she's truly in love with you, then she can make a decision. So tell her - if she wants you, she knows where to find you. But it better be with the news that she's broken up with her GF and is all yours. Otherwise - don't bother contacting you at all. But it looks to me like you're content with crumbs. One day when you decide you're worth more than that - to have somebody that wants YOU and ONLY you - you'll make the decision to quit being a doormat and stand up for yourself.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 You should tell her how you feel..Ask her how she feels about you, let her decide but don't expect too much... :lmao: Only one thought came to mind with your stupid spamming signature: http://di1.shopping.com/images1/pi/47/b2/6c/29726141-177x150-0-0.jpg
Author Asterus1992 Posted August 11, 2009 Author Posted August 11, 2009 Thank you, Soul. It's funny; you're right about me needing to think more of myself, and it took one post of mine to tell you that. I'm glad to have my feelings on the matter confirmed, especially by someone without a personal connection to the subject. I mean, two close friends of mine have told me the same things you did, but it was hard to believe it, because they're my friends; they're supposed to support me. I've decided that I am going to lay it all out. I'm going to tell her it's all or nothing with me. Not because everyone has told me that I should, but because I am worthy of someone who is willing to put their all into a relationship with me. Thank you again. I needed someone to tell me that I'm worth more than this game of picking up the pieces. Wish me luck. <3
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 12, 2009 Posted August 12, 2009 I've decided that I am going to lay it all out. I'm going to tell her it's all or nothing with me. Not because everyone has told me that I should, but because I am worthy of someone who is willing to put their all into a relationship with me. Thank you again. I needed someone to tell me that I'm worth more than this game of picking up the pieces. Wish me luck. <3 Awesome. Go for it. You deserve 100%.
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