tomtom26 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 So the other night this new girl that I've been seeing and I got intimate for the first time. We didn't have sex, but our shirts were off and touching/rubbing of places..........never really had intentions of sex before the night, but one thing let to another and we got close, but ultimately decided not to. Well during other stuff we were doing, of which she got off twice, she kept saying things like "My Dear.....My Darling......My Dear" during stuff. I gotta admit, it kind of turned me off. I understand the love-making attitude of things, and how sensual is good and all, but she is like that all the time out of bed. I just needed her to be a bit more lustful and animally more passionate like "Take me Now".......rather than just NICE. What do I do? I'm afraid that that passion and fire isn't there and its just going to be NICE all the time, because thats what she is all the time.
Chicago_Guy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I don't understand what the problem is. Are you annoyed that she calls you "my dear" or "my darling"? If so, you should tell her.
Author tomtom26 Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I don't understand what the problem is. Are you annoyed that she calls you "my dear" or "my darling"? If so, you should tell her. I don't know if annoyed is the right word, but it does turn me off. I guess she's so nice and romantic all the time, I was kinda looking for the sexual times to be a bit more raw and its just an extention of the niceness. I don't mean to sound like an ass or unappreciative, but sometimes you just want to feel lust and have sex. Its like I'm think "God you're so wet and I want you" and she says "ohh....my dear, you are so wonderful". Contradicting feelings, and her soft side turns off my raw side. If I tell her, will she get offended? Anybody have this problem before, on either side? Btw, we are both 26.
Bayern Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I can understand that. Sexual things for males seem to have a bit of aggression (well that's a harsh word, but you know what I mean). Maybe just talk to her.
Lucky_One Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 First time intimacy? Most girls aren't going to get into a "f*ck me now, you animal" sort of thing on the first time. That sometimes takes time, trust and intimacy to be able to lose yourself to pure sensation. Give her some time.
Author tomtom26 Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 First time intimacy? Most girls aren't going to get into a "f*ck me now, you animal" sort of thing on the first time. That sometimes takes time, trust and intimacy to be able to lose yourself to pure sensation. Give her some time. I understand that but I guess since she's always so nice and "romanticy" I'm afraid that's how its always gonna be. I don't want to find myself 6 months in a relationship only to find out that there is no heat/passion/lust. This would make for a very boring sex life. If I were to talk to her, how should I approach it where I don't offend her and also don't come off as an ass?
Isolde Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Most girls aren't going to get into a "f*ck me now, you animal" sort of thing on the first time. That sometimes takes time, trust and intimacy to be able to lose yourself to pure sensation. This. Not sure why she's calling you "darling" this early on, though...
Thaddeus Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Give her a little time first. First sessions are full of nerves. It might take half-a-dozen times but there's a good chance that there's a tigress buried just under the surface.
Lucky_One Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I understand that but I guess since she's always so nice and "romanticy" I'm afraid that's how its always gonna be. I don't want to find myself 6 months in a relationship only to find out that there is no heat/passion/lust. This would make for a very boring sex life. If I were to talk to her, how should I approach it where I don't offend her and also don't come off as an ass? You have no idea what she's really like. It can take years for people to feel comfortable enough to share their fantasies or their fetishes or their secret hidden desires. I think the REAL issue here is that you want some wild nookie, and you really don't care who it's with, and she isn't going to give up that swinging from the palm tree monkey sex in the next week or so, so you want to move on to the next chick.
carhill Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Yep, another boring nice girl. Lose her now and forever feel better with a raging lustful bitch
CLC2008 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Its like I'm think "God you're so wet and I want you" and she says "ohh....my dear, you are so wonderful". Next time throw in "oh my darling clementine" in front of the first part.
dreamergrl Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Just a thought, but maybe her last lover liked this. Lots of people think previous things will turn on their next partner, especially if they aren't quite as experienced. It's kind of like thing everyone loves having their ear lobe sucked on. I think it's nasty, and can't stand it... but some guys still do it with me because the last girl loved it.
monkey00 Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 I think every couple have certain kinks that they like in bed. Girls can be sensitive about not performing well in bed or especially if you make them feel unsexy. I think you should encourage her and educate each other what you guys like/don't like.
boogieboy Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yeah you cant6 judge her before you have actual intercourse with her. Then once you do, she might actually ASK you what your fantasies are. Or when you do start having sex with her, its the perfect time to tell her to scream at you whatever you want, and she'll probably do it.
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 Yep, another boring nice girl. Lose her now and forever feel better with a raging lustful bitch No kidding. Looks like it's time to dump the chump.
carhill Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 That would be my advice to her if she had been posting
Hkizzle Posted August 11, 2009 Posted August 11, 2009 So the other night this new girl that I've been seeing and I got intimate for the first time. We didn't have sex, but our shirts were off and touching/rubbing of places..........never really had intentions of sex before the night, but one thing let to another and we got close, but ultimately decided not to. Well during other stuff we were doing, of which she got off twice, she kept saying things like "My Dear.....My Darling......My Dear" during stuff. I gotta admit, it kind of turned me off. I understand the love-making attitude of things, and how sensual is good and all, but she is like that all the time out of bed. I just needed her to be a bit more lustful and animally more passionate like "Take me Now".......rather than just NICE. What do I do? I'm afraid that that passion and fire isn't there and its just going to be NICE all the time, because thats what she is all the time. Buy a wip and one of those spanking pads with nails sticking out and hang them on the wall above the bed. She'll get the point.......
leap83 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Buy a wip and one of those spanking pads with nails sticking out and hang them on the wall above the bed. She'll get the point....... LMAO
xpaperxcutx Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Well I would expect her to go with things like " that's good, yes right there" etc... but my dear and my darling are just a bit too cheesy. Don't dump her just yet, it would just make you shallow. If you guys have actual sex see how she would react in bed. Most girls aren't made out to be porn stars that scream and fake orgasms.
LovieDove24 Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I lean towards being verbally agressive in bed and have found out (after the fact) that some men were turned OFF by this. It was never anything graphic either, just your average hot, horny talk. One man's trash is another man's treasure Lol
SoulSearch_CO Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 I lean towards being verbally agressive in bed and have found out (after the fact) that some men were turned OFF by this. It was never anything graphic either, just your average hot, horny talk. One man's trash is another man's treasure Lol Wow. I've never had a negative reaction to dirty talk. I didn't know it was possible. But then, I didn't think it was possible for a perfectly healthy male to have a low sex drive, either...so there ya go.
hitzpink Posted August 14, 2009 Posted August 14, 2009 Oh gosh that would turn me off too. Sooo cheesy! But if you like her other than that, I'd say keep seeing her and after you guys start having sex you can initiate a conversation about fantasies or what you like in bed, and then you can mention that you like it to be a little more dirty or raw. She may just be doing what her last partner liked.
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