john1986 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I have been dating my girl friend for about a year and a half and everyhting was going really great. She was my best friend and i did everything i could to make her life easiar and she would constantly say she couldnt imagine her life with out me. We constantly talked about spending the rest of our lives together and a future together. I am 23 and she is 21 so i graduated college this past may and moved home to pursue my career... she moved to right outside my home town for the summer for a summer internship in the city. Everytyhing was great at the start of the summer but shortly after comeing home she just started getting real mean. Everytime i was around shed just flip out and say things that really just did not need to be said. Finally one day last week she just said you know what i really just dont want to date you anymore and some other really harsh things. WE talked for awhile and she assured me she just said it out of anger so we continued to date and i went down the beach with her and her family this past weekend. On the way back i asked her whats benn going on...that she just seems distant from me and she doesnt seem to even be attracted to me anymore...she says she just doesnt know and she just sint sure if she loves me anymore...she says things just feel differnty and she just knows she isnt happy when im around....i had already commited to helping her move out a few days later so she asked if i still would so like a fool i went... the second i show up she starts getting mad at me for everyhting i do...i put something in the car the wrong way and she started going off about how worthless i am and what a piece of crap i am so i started to get angry and asked her who she though she was to talk to someone like that and i didnt care if she didnt want to be with me but she cant treat me that way...she told me it doesnt even bother her when she talks to me that way...and that she jsut wants a break from me b/c i am just annoying....how did this just all of a sudden happen? what causes this? how do you go from literally over night saying u want to be with someone for the rest of ur life to treating them like dirt? hings got even weirder for me lately...we hadnt talked since all of the stuff happened but she called me thursday (i am a police officer and was being sworn in last week and it was in the news paper) b/c she saw it in the news paper and was mad i didnt tell her. I told her after everything she said and the way she treated me i didnt feel i needed to let her know anymore. SHe seemed upset and started asking me a ton of questions about what ive been doing. SHes kept saying i dont even know what you have done in a long time tell me about it and was asking about my job and tons of other things. I am short with her but do talk for alittle. As i try to cut the conversation off she tells me her family is having a bbq and wants me to come down...i say i think we both know that it isnt a good idea and then she gets mad and says you know im going on a cruise in a few dats and i wont see you for a few weeks and i wouldnt have suggested it if it was a bad idea....i refuse and she seems mad but oh well...so then she calls me the night before she leaves and tries to talk to me like everything is normal agian...i lose it and say u cant just say things like u say and walk all over me and take advantage of me...and i tell her i do so many small things for u that you dont even take notice of and u just dont even appreciate it...then im the one who has to sit here while u treat me like [COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR][COLOR=#fa7777]* [/COLOR] and decied u dont want to be with me...and i continue to just kinda lose it...she just says "im sorry you feel that way" and seems pretty much unfazed by it like she usually does...she texts me the next morning saying "i will miss you while im away".... what the hell is going on...is this all typical behavior?....i know i should prob jsut move on but i do love her....is this just her being selfish and not wanting to be with me but trying to keep me around alittle? im sorry for the long stories im just alittle lost
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Shes immature and lost interest in you, but she is trying to keep you on the backburner while shes confused. So cut her off, and ignore her texts and calls until she says she wants to try again. Which she wont. Just ignore her, do not talk to her, do not update her on what youre doing. She is using you for validation that you still want her. Dont let her get away with that.
Thaddeus Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Shes immature and lost interest in you, but she is trying to keep you on the backburner while shes confused. So cut her off, and ignore her texts and calls until she says she wants to try again. Which she wont. Just ignore her, do not talk to her, do not update her on what youre doing. She is using you for validation that you still want her. Dont let her get away with that.I agree with BB, with one minor caveat. When she calls/texts/emails you, it's OK to respond but not right away, wait at least a day. When she says, "Why didn't you respond right away?" (because she will), tell her you were out having fun golfing, enjoying a movie or a good meal with some friends. Doesn't matter if it's true or not - you could have been sitting at home watching "The View" (I know... ewwwww... ) - but the point is to show her that you have a life outside of the relationship. Which is something you should have anyway.
GrayClouds Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 don't use your energy trying to understand, use it to move on. she is likely messing with someone else and demonizing you because of her guilt and want to keep you in the wings in case it doesn't work out with the new one. no more contact, stop taking her text, phone calls, email. let her f*ck the new guy, don't let her f*ck with your head. You deserve better. good luck.
DSM-IV Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Heads Borderline Personality Disorder - Tails I'm gonna flip a coin. Either way, I have a feeling I'm going to be right. Lastly, bipolar disorder 1. Also, just plain dumbass disorder.
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Heads Borderline Personality Disorder - Tails I'm gonna flip a coin. Either way, I have a feeling I'm going to be right. Lastly, bipolar disorder 1. Also, just plain dumbass disorder. I will be doing many diagnosis with that last one, PDD.
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