missdependant Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Do you really need to ask? Yes, you should tell her. And if you consider her to be more of a good friend than an ex, start talking about her in terms of a good friend instead of just calling her your ex. I wouldn't want my boyfriend hanging out with his ex, but I wouldn't really care if he was hanging out with his good friend who happens to be female.
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Done, however im not sure if i should save it for when shes back in 3 weeks, or just tell her asap come the next time we webcam I can understand waiting until she gets back. On the other hand, I personally would be even angrier if my bf waited 3 weeks or longer to tell me he'd been hanging out with his ex while I was away. Most likely it just depends on what type of girl your gf is.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I can understand waiting until she gets back. On the other hand, I personally would be even angrier if my bf waited 3 weeks or longer to tell me he'd been hanging out with his ex while I was away. Most likely it just depends on what type of girl your gf is. shes the type to hold things in and to herself, hands down
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Seeing how it's just a good friend, why not wait to hang out with the ex/friend AFTER your gf comes home, and the TWO OF YOU can talk about it.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Seeing how it's just a good friend, why not wait to hang out with the ex/friend AFTER your gf comes home, and the TWO OF YOU can talk about it. thought about that however shes leaving in a little over a week for oversea studies
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Seeing how it's just a good friend, why not wait to hang out with the ex/friend AFTER your gf comes home, and the TWO OF YOU can talk about it. Very good advice. I don't think it matters if she's the type to hold things in or not; just more so it depends on other things. For example, what her stance is on lying (would she feel like you lied to her?), how she feels about hanging out with ex's, is she aware of who your ex is, etc.
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 thought about that however shes leaving in a little over a week for oversea studies Which is more important to you. Seeing the ex or you're gf's feelings?
norajane Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 also thanks for everyones responses, however i feel like some of you guys arent grasping the point that she is still someone whos been there for me in the past when i needed someone, it just so happened that shes my ex and I feel like if I were to just push her off i'd be like pushing off one of my good guy friends, no difference, for my girlfriend. Not saying that i don't like my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but im sure u understand... If she is SUCH an old and good friend, then I'm sure she would understand if you told her this: "You know, I'd love to see you, but my girlfriend is on vacation right now. How about if we wait until she gets back and we can all get together and hang out. I'd love for you to meet her!" There is no reason why you need to hang out with your ex without your gf. Is there?
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I'm sorry... but I just think that it is odd that this 'meeting up' just happened to all of a sudden work while the gf is away..... Something seems a bit off to me.
laRubiaBonita Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If she is SUCH an old and good friend, then I'm sure she would understand if you told her this: "You know, I'd love to see you, but my girlfriend is on vacation right now. How about if we wait until she gets back and we can all get together and hang out. I'd love for you to meet her!" There is no reason why you need to hang out with your ex without your gf. there couldn't agree more!
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Which is more important to you. Seeing the ex or you're gf's feelings? The choice is obvious if u put it that way. But, how would u feel if one of your childhood friends, whos you've been there for, even if he has been your ex, and you asked him to hang out for old times sake before you had to leave for oversea studies and he replied "no" and whatever excuse he gave afterwords.
norajane Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 thought about that however shes leaving in a little over a week for oversea studies So, it's a limited time offer with an expiration date? Then if she is SUCH an old and good friend, I'm sure she's understand if you told her: "I'm sorry, I'd love to see you, but my girlfriend is away on vacation and I don't know how she'd feel about me hanging out with an ex without knowing. I don't want to hurt her because she means a lot to me, so I don't want any misunderstandings."
norajane Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 The choice is obvious if u put it that way. But, how would u feel if one of your childhood friends, whos you've been there for, even if he has been your ex, and you asked him to hang out for old times sake before you had to leave for oversea studies and he replied "no" and whatever excuse he gave afterwords. You don't give an excuse! You tell your old friend the TRUTH - that you have a gf, you don't know if she'd be upset, and you'd rather not risk it. An old friend would understand that.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 I'm sorry... but I just think that it is odd that this 'meeting up' just happened to all of a sudden work while the gf is away..... Something seems a bit off to me. your free to let your head wander, but from my complete understand its 100% legit, something that seems too coincidental can still be a coincidence, it just happened that when my ex returned from her trip, my gf left for her trip. and my ex will be gone overseas for school prior to my girlfriends return. My ex is only here for 2weeks
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 How about, lets all hang out when you get back! And you haven't mentioned that you plan on telling the ex about your gf. You keep coming up with reasons why its okay to see the ex. And you have guilt. And I'll say it again, all this is waaay to coincidental.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 So, it's a limited time offer with an expiration date? Then if she is SUCH an old and good friend, I'm sure she's understand if you told her: "I'm sorry, I'd love to see you, but my girlfriend is away on vacation and I don't know how she'd feel about me hanging out with an ex without knowing. I don't want to hurt her because she means a lot to me, so I don't want any misunderstandings." If thats the absolute way to not hurt my gf than ill probably resort to that, but my ex is going away to study over seas(year+) personally i feel like crap to not even give her a formal good bye.
norajane Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If thats the absolute way to not hurt my gf than ill probably resort to that, but my ex is going away to study over seas(year+) personally i feel like crap to not even give her a formal good bye. Would you feel like crap if you hurt your gf? If she dumped you? What would you feel worse about? I doubt your friend will be heartbroken if she doesn't see you these 2 weeks she's home. She hasn't seen you in a long time anyway, and she's probably really busy and going out all the time seeing her friends in her hometown. This will be a much bigger issue for your gf, than for your friend.
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If thats the absolute way to not hurt my gf than ill probably resort to that, but my ex is going away to study over seas(year+) personally i feel like crap to not even give her a formal good bye. RESORT to that? You're putting your ex way ahead of your gf. Yikes...
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If thats the absolute way to not hurt my gf than ill probably resort to that, but my ex is going away to study over seas(year+) personally i feel like crap to not even give her a formal good bye. I kinda got the impression that you haven't really seen or spoken to your ex in quite awhile...so why all of a sudden the need to see her? Who cares that she's going away for a year or more. You already haven't seen or spoken to her in however long.
missdependant Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 You're putting your ex way ahead of your gf. I'd have to agree with this statement.
Thaddius Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I like how everyone here thinks alike, yet no one can see that this ex as he calls it is obviously a good friend. Whos usually there for you in your time of need a good friend or your current girlfriend? Whos do you usually keep longer, a good friend of your girlfriend? Girl/boyfriends come and go, friends are something people who with a strong bond create. The phrase "bros before hoes" its not just something guys use on thier guy friends, its a statement for everyone that your friends matter just as much if not more than your girl/boyfriend
laRubiaBonita Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 i broke up with my Bf of 3 years because of his ommissions of truths, specifically the ones that involved meeting up with exgfs and then friends that were girls......
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 RESORT to that? You're putting your ex way ahead of your gf. Yikes... i call her my ex, and thats all you guys see her for (my ex)
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I think you're lonely with your gf away.... I'm not saying you'll cheat, but I think it's strange how all this is coming about, and how much you're trying to validate seeing your ex. You appear to care more about seeing your ex then sparing your gf's feelings. Why is that? Your ex will be back one day, is going to be GONE GONE GONE. Your gf will be back soon, and has to deal with your actions... should you go.. and not tell her.. to her face...
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 I like how everyone here thinks alike, yet no one can see that this ex as he calls it is obviously a good friend. Whos usually there for you in your time of need a good friend or your current girlfriend? Whos do you usually keep longer, a good friend of your girlfriend? Girl/boyfriends come and go, friends are something people who with a strong bond create. The phrase "bros before hoes" its not just something guys use on thier guy friends, its a statement for everyone that your friends matter just as much if not more than your girl/boyfriend This friend is also an ex. So that fact detracts from your argument.
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