ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Me and my ex had a relationship a few years back, although it didn't work out we still remained somewhat good/close friends. Due to the fact that we lived fairly far apart and had been pretty busy we didn't hang out much after breaking up. Now that we have more time on our hands she invited me to hang out some with her for old times sake. She may be my ex but she is still one of my good friend(girl). We arranged a few hangouts. I'm debating whether I need to tell my gf that im hanging out with my ex or not. Normally my girlfriend doesnt ask about who im hanging out with and what not, however i feel like if somehow she found out that i hanged with my ex her head may wander off to conclusions. Should i feel the need to have to tell my gf about my ex and me hanging out or just be normal and wait till she finds out to act.
confusedcookie Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 you need to tell her, if she ever finds out somehow, it would make her really pissed, at least it would to me! lol i hate it when guys know that they should tell us stuff like that, but they go ,"but you never asked", some things are just necessary to tell us without being asked... lol
incineration Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 yeah dude you should tell it to your gf before she will know it from others or she will caught you on the act hanging with your ex ... im sure she will think that you have hidden/secret affair with your ex by not telling her the truth...goodluck dude
collegekid491 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If you feel you should tell her, tell her, cause its obvious you feel guilty about it.
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Um, yes you should tell her. Otherwise she will probably interpret your behavior as shady. Especially since "we lived fairly far apart"??? Dude, it's not a casual hanging out with friends thing if you live far apart - you're making a big effort to see your ex. Totally understandable that your current gf would be hurt by this since you're hiding it from her. Does your ex know you're seeing someone?
Lyssa Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Just tell her that you're still hanging out with your ex. Some wouldn't be okay with their GF/BF hanging out with the ex. I'm okay with it to a certain extent.
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Yeah... does your ex know you have a girlfriend? You're already feeling guilty about the whole thing, and guilt doesn't usually just happen out of no where.. I think there may be some unresolved feelings, or maybe some attraction that remained. You're gf will be one upset girl if you don't tell her. She may be upset regardless, but more upset if you don't tell her!
Jersey Shortie Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Be upfront with her and tell her. How would you feel if the situation was reversed?
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If you tell your gf that youre hanging out with your ex still, she might be pissed and start being jealous to a point of no return. She might feel she isnt enough for you, she might think that you will want to get back with your ex. Its possible that she wont believe what you really mean no matter what you say. I say dont tell her anything, and keep your correspondence with your ex to email. Dont hang out with her in person...its not worth the risk of your current gf.
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 If you tell your gf that youre hanging out with your ex still, she might be pissed and start being jealous to a point of no return. She might feel she isnt enough for you, she might think that you will want to get back with your ex. Its possible that she wont believe what you really mean no matter what you say. I say dont tell her anything, and keep your correspondence with your ex to email. Dont hang out with her in person...its not worth the risk of your current gf. This actually brings up a really good point - you're putting your exgf above your current gf by lying to her (by omission) to hang out with your ex. That's like saying your ex and your relationship with her is more important than your relationship with your current gf.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Im pretty sure my ex knows that im in a relationship atm also, even though she is me ex we are still childhood friends and like i stated above shes still one of my good (girl)friends, someone whos there for me when its needed in the past. Even though my girlfriend may take it badly at first to an extent im sure she would understand if i explained to her? iunno... *edit* my gf is currently on a 3weeks vacation, so if i were to tell herm would something like aim be bad, should i save the conversation for webcam instead? since i can read her reactions
New Again Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Im pretty sure my ex knows that im in a relationship atm also, even though she is me ex we are still childhood friends and like i stated above shes still one of my good (girl)friends, someone whos there for me when its needed in the past. Even though my girlfriend may take it badly at first to an extent im sure she would understand if i explained to her? iunno... I would strongly suggest you actually TELL your ex that you have a gf. And rave about how amazing she is. Do not ever talk badly or share problems you have with your gf with your ex. You really should tell your gf you're seeing your ex.
Peanut9330 Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 You should tell her otherwise she's going to feel like your hiding things from her, and she might have problems trusting you in the future.
2sure Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Im pretty sure my ex knows that im in a relationship atm If she were, as you claim, your GOOD friend...she would KNOW that you were in a relationship atm. You wouldn't be guessing she knows.
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 You're good friend that's also an ex does not know for sure if you have a girlfriend? Hmmm. Add to the guilt you have about seeing the ex... One might think you still have feelings for the ex. An honest person would tell their SO right away. In an honest relationship, you don't hide things from your SO. And if YOU were honest - the ex would know about the girlfriend.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 oh encase u guys missed my edit on the last post *edit* my gf is currently on a 3weeks vacation, so if i were to tell herm would something like aim be bad, should i save the conversation for webcam instead? where i can better read her reaction
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 oh encase u guys missed my edit on the last post *edit* my gf is currently on a 3weeks vacation, so if i were to tell herm would something like aim be bad, should i save the conversation for webcam instead? where i can better read her reaction Are you effin' serious? You waited until she was on vacation on top of all this. Do your gf a favor, and break up with her.
Lyssa Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 oh encase u guys missed my edit on the last post *edit* my gf is currently on a 3weeks vacation, so if i were to tell herm would something like aim be bad, should i save the conversation for webcam instead? where i can better read her reaction I'd rather have my partner tell me something like this in person - shows he has balls.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 actually its completely coincidental, the fact that my gf is on a vacation isnt known by everyone it just happened that my ex asked me for an hangout on one of the days that she left.
boogieboy Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 Dont you DARE tell your GF that youre hanging out with your ex while shes away for 3 weeks. Shes just going to think that youre fooling around with her. Youre just going to make her nuts, and she wont trust you after that. Stay away from your ex and dont break your gf's heart.
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 actually its completely coincidental, the fact that my gf is on a vacation isnt known by everyone it just happened that my ex asked me for an hangout on one of the days that she left. Your ex that doesn't know for sure about your gf, who just happens to want to hang out with you while she's gone. Maybe you nudged this 'accidental' or 'coincidental' arrangement. Sorry... but your guilt speaks volumes here. There's more too it because you're not sure whether to tell your gf or not.
2sure Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 You are thinking of telling your gf , who is away on vacation- that you are going to hang with your ex? Do what you want to do , but dont tell her while she is away.
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 Your ex that doesn't know for sure about your gf, who just happens to want to hang out with you while she's gone. Maybe you nudged this 'accidental' or 'coincidental' arrangement. Sorry... but your guilt speaks volumes here. There's more too it because you're not sure whether to tell your gf or not. im not sure because whenever i hang out with my friends(girls included) she doesnt ask or care about it, same when she hangs out with her friends, but because its my ex i feel like its not something i can treat just like any old friend as she may wander to conclusions, if i had to tell her i would have no problem doing so also thanks for everyones responses, however i feel like some of you guys arent grasping the point that she is still someone whos been there for me in the past when i needed someone, it just so happened that shes my ex and I feel like if I were to just push her off i'd be like pushing off one of my good guy friends, no difference, for my girlfriend. Not saying that i don't like my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but im sure u understand... and i can assure you guys that im 100% faithful to my girlfriend, sure sometimes i want to get her jealous,but never to an crazy extent as to hangout with my ex just to get on her and make her jealous
dreamergrl Posted August 10, 2009 Posted August 10, 2009 im not sure because whenever i hang out with my friends(girls included) she doesnt ask or care about it, same when she hangs out with her friends, but because its my ex i feel like its not something i can treat just like any old friend as she may wander to conclusions, if i had to tell her i would have no problem doing so You should be telling her REGARDLESS, but you will only do it if you have to. also thanks for everyones responses, however i feel like some of you guys arent grasping the point that she is still someone whos been there for me in the past when i needed someone, it just so happened that shes my ex and I feel like if I were to just push her off i'd be like pushing off one of my good guy friends, no difference, for my girlfriend. Not saying that i don't like my girlfriend more than anything in the world, but im sure u understand... I used to be friends, sort of, with my ex fiance. He's was a very big part of my life at one point, and was there for me more then I could explain. However... after we broke up, when we were in contact, he had no issues telling me about his gf (who is now his wife), as I had no problems telling him that I had a boyfriend at that time. We didn't hang out after the break up much either. Maybe a few times, before either of us got new SOs. You're ex is your ex, regardless of who she was in the past or how much she was there for you. and i can assure you guys that im 100% faithful to my girlfriend, sure sometimes i want to get her jealous,but never to an crazy extent as to hangout with my ex just to get on her and make her jealous Great, get back to us after you've told the ex about the gf, and the gf about the ex
Author ExiledLyCan Posted August 10, 2009 Author Posted August 10, 2009 You should be telling her REGARDLESS, but you will only do it if you have to. Im just not sure as if i should tell her because a situation like this has never occured in my relationship, on top of that we've never really cared about who we were hanging out with on our own time.However i would know now that i should. I used to be friends, sort of, with my ex fiance. He's was a very big part of my life at one point, and was there for me more then I could explain. However... after we broke up, when we were in contact, he had no issues telling me about his gf (who is now his wife), as I had no problems telling him that I had a boyfriend at that time. We didn't hang out after the break up much either. Maybe a few times, before either of us got new SOs. You're ex is your ex, regardless of who she was in the past or how much she was there for you. Yes, i understand the point your trying to stress, and i understand shes my ex, just the fact of pushing her off even though shes been there for me makes me feel really bad. Great, get back to us after you've told the ex about the gf, and the gf about the ex Done, however im not sure if i should save it for when shes back in 3 weeks, or just tell her asap come the next time we webcam
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